Game night...

Upon further inspection, last week's opening game for Your Bantam Phillies was not, in fact, a loss. Yes, we were outscored 20-14. However, the other team only had five players. Which meant they played with no catcher and no outfielders. So their two coaches and two high school softball players manned the outfield. Net result? Most of our hits to the outfield were singles -- as they were quickly and cleanly handled by adults/ high school kids. Most of their hits to our outfield were doubles. You can see how it went down. So rather than accept a win by forfeit, we are simply not counting the game on our record. Tonight, we go for the W.

It's good to be right...

Askmen.com has come out with its list of Most Desirable Women of 2010. Here are 20 of the 100 names, along with our verdict:

Carrie Underwood: Yes.

Angelina Jolie: Good, gawd, NO! Times 1,000.

Anne Hathaway: No.

Taylor Swift: Yuck! (Code for, NO!)

Kristen Stewart: Um, who the hell is this person?!? And, no.

Padma Lakshmi: Yuck, 2.0. No!

Erin Andrews: Yes!!! Duh.

Bar Refaeli: Who are you, again?!? No.

Gisele Bundchen: No. (Too tall and skinny). TB12 can keep her.

Megan Fox: Yes. (Bonus points for dating David Silver.)

Miranda Kerr: No clue who she is. But, again, we must say...NO!

Eva Mendes: Yes. But it's a shaky yes.

Cheryl Cole: No clue who she is. Yes.

Penelope Cruz: No. Not even close.

Beyonce: Yes, of course.

Jessica Alba: Not now. Not ever.

Alessandra Ambrosio: No.

Kate Beckinsale: Never heard of her, but gotta go yes.

Marisa Miller: Never heard of her, but gotta go no.

Emmanuelle Chriqui: Not to be rude, but gross! Double no.

Doing the math, we willingly embrace just 7 of the 20 names.

NFL modck draft...2011

Wow! This is really early! (And, no, DeMarco Murray will NOT be a first round pick!)

And this guy has Patrick Peterson way too low -- even if he is #8!

Too good to be true?!?

The 76ers are a mess. They made the playoffs last year, but GM Ed Stefanski brought in a new coach -- the utterly immortal Eddie Jordan.

That resulted in backsliding by about 20 games, missing the playoffs and, worst of all, becoming the laughingstock of the NBA. Players quit on Jordan and quit on the city of Philadelphia. They had, perhaps, the worst attitude of any Philly sports team in the last 40 years.

Two weeks ago, Stefanski fired Jordan. (Who, amazingly enough, will collect $6 mill over the next two years.) Now, it appears that Stefanski will be the next one to get the boot. A report yesterday on yahoosports.com (they break more stories than the Evil Empire known as ESPN) stated that Prodigal Son Larry Brown will be returning to Philadelphia to run the basketball operations. (His wife and kids still live on Main Line.) "Brown is angling to take the Philadelphia 76ers’ presidency, and has targeted Washington Wizards front office executive Milt Newton as his general manager and the Atlanta Hawks’ Mike Woodson as coach, sources said."

It all makes sense. Brown, at the age of 70, could (finally) be ready to step back from coaching. Woodson was his first lieutenant when he coached the 76ers and has done a great job with the Atlanta Hawks. Milt Newton played for Brown when he coached Kansas to a National Championship over Mookie Blaylock and Stacy King of Oklahoma in 1988. Of course, there's no guarantee Woodson will leave a young and talented Hawks team in favor of the toxic waste now residing on Philly's roster. That would leave the door wide open for Brown to run the organization and coach the team.

That scenario sounds a heckuva lot better than what Stephen A. Smith wrote in today's Philadelphia Inquirer: "Brown would be running basketball operations for this franchise. And there would be no need for Stefanski because Brown will bring back former Sixers president and GM Billy King to make all of those phone calls for him. Just like old times."

We love Larry Brown. But we want no part of Billy King. His specialty was giving huge contracts to stiffs like Willie Green and Samuel Dalembert.

Our fingers are crossed that Yahoo, not Smith, is right.

This one never gets old...

In light of The Playmaker's First Communion last Saturday, we thought it would be appropriate to replay this one. Surrounded by catholics in church, when one would approach us to chat, we would say, "You know we're a WASP, right?!?" Classic. The Wife wouldn't speak to us the rest of the day. But it was totally worth it.

Mel Kiper grades the Eagles' draft...

And he gives the Birds the 4th highest grade in the league!

Leave us alone...

Had 10 AM First Communion for The Playmaker, followed by a 1 PM baseball game (lost, 20-14.)

Literally exhausted.

Oh, yeah. The Playmaker was 3-3 with 3 RBIs. Two of his hits were deep flyballs to left field for doubles. (His other hit was an infield dribbler.) No one hit a ball farther today. Not even close.

Guess we weren't that exhausted, as we found the strength to tell you that.

Brandon Graham: Your 2010 Rookie of the Year*

*According to none other than Adam Schefter!

Five players for the Eagles to draft in round 1

Your Philadelphia Eagles have the 24th pick in the first round of tonight's NFL Draft. They also have two picks in rounds 2, 3 and 4 -- which gives them tremendous ability to move up in the first round.

If they move up...

1. Eric Berry, safety, Tennessee -- This kid was the best defender in the country the last two years. He's so good, we'd move Philly's first pick, second pick and next year's third round pick to move up to get him. Would Seattle's Coach Pete take the bait and move the 6th pick to Philly?!? Will Berry get past the Redskins at 4?!?

2. Earl Thomas, safety, texASS -- It pains us that a Bonghorn could actually help the Birds in round one. Thomas is a notch below Berry, but many peeps feel he can also play corner -- another spot where the Eagles need help. Most feel they would have to move up to get him, but some mocks have him still around at #24. k kkkkkkkkkllll;;;;
kkk
3. Derrick Morgan, defensive end, Georiga Tech -- He gets to the QB off the edge, something they need opposite Trent Cole. Peter King thinks the Eagles will move up to Miami's 12 spot and take Morgan, who hails from Coatesville, PA.

If they stay put...

4. Kareem Jackson, cornerback, Alabama -- Nick Saban knows how to coach D. And he loved coaching Jackson. That's good enough for us.

5. Taylor Mays, safety, USC -- Three months ago Mays was a sure-fire top 10 pick. Then he went to the combine and ran a slower than anticipated 40. Presto! Now he's in a free fall. He's a great college player who will be an NFL starter.

Only 7 months away...

Thanksgiving games: Patriots and Lions?!? Saints and Cowboys?!?

Are you frigging kidding us?!?

That's insane.

Good, gawd, man. We can hardly wait.

Friday Night Lights...

Good move...

The Eagles just acquired linebacker Ernie Sims from the Lions. The former HS player of the year and 9th pick in the first round (2006) has had some injury problems as a pro. However, the Birds plan to move him from the SAM linebacker spot to WILL. Plus, getting him for a 5th round draft pick next Saturday is a virtual steal. (And they still have their own 5th round pick.)

Woo! Woo!

The Playmaker's Sister, playing in only her second career lacrosse game, notched her first point today. She scooped up an errant pass behind the opponent's net and rifled a dart to her best friend, who had positioned herself in front of the net, where she promptly fired the ball in the goal. She then ran over and hugged her BFF and screamed, "Sweet pass!" For the season, The Good Guys Girls are now 2-0, having outscored their opponents 25-3.

You can't be serious...

Well said...

Seriously...

Danny Baez sucks. Cut him. Now.

Best we can do...

Sunday night's dinner...

An 8 pound bone-in Pork Shoulder. (Sounds more appetizing than it's other name -- Pork Butt.) We let it roast in the oven at 250 degrees for almost six hours. Check out the crispy skin in the top picture. And could the pork be any juicer in the bottom one?!?

We [HEART] the MLB app for the iTouch...

Because of the lighting, it's hard to tell it's our iTouch. But for $119, we get every Phillies game (or any other game) in HD on our computer or on the iTouch. Classic. Here Chase Utley hits a dinger to put the Phillies ahead, 7-4 -- which was the final score.

OU's Anthony Kim...

Nailing an eagle on 15.

Hmm...very interesting!

High noon...

The Urban Meyer sabbatical ends tomorrow at noon. Your Bantam Phillies will take the field for their first practice of the season.

In Kolb We Trust...

This makes us feel better

It's spring -- which we hate. And it's 90 degrees today. Ugh. Seriously, what the eff is going on?!? However, when we saw Brent and Herbie on College Football Live, we immediately felt better. Much better.

Ted Valentine wins game for Puke

The minute loser Jim Nantz told us Ted Valentine was one of the referees working last night's title game between Duke and Butler, we immediately knew the outcome of the game. There was no way Teddy V was letting Duke lose a big game. The guy is a buffoon. The only explanation as to why he was even allowed near the Final Four was for the NCAA to be politically correct.

And so it was last night with about 40 seconds left in the game. Duke was up one and had the ball. Kyle Singler took the rock to the hoop and missed an open pull-up from about 10 feet. There was a mad scramble for the ball. Multiple hands on both teams touched the ball. And then in one full swoop, Duke he-man Brian Zoubek took Butler's Matt Howard and literally threw him to the ground.

There was a ref standing right in front of the play along the baseline. It would be Zoubek's fifth foul and Anderson, an 80 percent foul shooter on the year, would get to go to the line for two shots.

Alas, the ref on the scene was Ted Valentine. Like a total pu$$y, he swallowed his whistle. Zoubek was allowed to stay in the game.

Fast forward 30 seconds. Butler's Gordon Hayward drove the lane with five seconds to play, down one. He blew by Singlar and approached the hoop for the winning field goal. At the last second, Brian Zoubek, all seven feet of him, came over to help. Hayward was forced to adjust his shot and ended up back rimming it.

Duke won.

Not because they were better. But because of Teddy Valentine.

Somebody oughtta punch that guy in the face.

Really hard.

That's 1...

Wow...

Donovan McNabb traded?!?

We must admit we were surprised the Eagles decided to cut bait with Five. That's not to say we are against the trade. It's just that we felt Andy Reid would keep him around forever. But if his biggest booster felt the need to trade him, what does that tell us about McNabb?!? We never felt he was even close to a great QB. Pretty good, sure. But nothing more than that. He had/has a great arm. But as a pure passer he is mediocre. How many times have we been forced to watch him short hop a wide open receiver?!? And he may be a bright and well spoken guy, but as a football player, he is dumb as rocks. Thankfully, Eagles fans have seen the last of McNabb throwing a 3 yard pass on third and ten.

As for the ever dreaded trading a player within the division?!? If the Eagles can't beat the woeful Redskins with DMac behind center, they are in big trouble. The Sons of Daniel Snyder could put Peyton Manning out there and the Birds should still win easily.

Rise and fire!

Click here for Gus Johnson sound board!

King James

Six feet from us...

Happy Easter

Nothing says Happy Easter like skipping a family gathering to take your son to see Lebron James from courtside (second row, actually) this afternoon. We'll be the guys in the bottom right hand corner of your TV screen. The Playmaker will be wearing his official Roy Halladay jersey (courtesy of the Easter Bunny) and we will have on our Phillies hat.

Classic...

Phillies 2 win World Series...

We never go to nbcsports.com, but they say the Phillies will win it all in 2010!

Intended to buy iPad for $499, instead paid $1,170...

That's not cool.

Outstanding...

Required reading: Why you should hate Duke!

The [anticlimactic] Final Four

March Madness is over. Well, all the good parts are. For starters, hello?!?, it's now April. More importantly, we are down to just four teams. The tournament is at its best when there are 65 teams and then 32 teams. When there are 16, it's still fantastic. Even the round of 8 is outstanding.

But the Final Four?!?

Not so much.

It's anticlimactic. It's like watching the BCS National Championship Game in football. It's hard to get excited when you know the end of the season is upon you. And half the time the games aren't any good.

What makes March Madness is not the Final Four. It's the first two rounds when you watch teams you haven't seen all season and players you've never heard of. When we look back at this year's edition of March Madness, we won't remember the Final Four (unless, perhaps, Butler gets to Monday night). No, instead we'll remember guys we somehow ignored all winter. Curtis Kelly (K-State), Ali Farokhmanesh (Northern Iowa), Danero Thomas (Murray State), Jimmer Fredette (BYU), Louis Dale (Cornell) and Jordan Crawford (Xavier).

Alas, we will watch the games tonight -- albeit half-heartedly. We honestly have no idea what to expect. There are cases to be consumed made for all four teams winning. Why would anyone pick against Tom Izzo today?!? Butler is the warm and fuzzy story. But the fact is, they are a really good team. Plus, it's a frigging home game for them! Duke has the best trio on the floor today (Nolan Smith, Kyle Singler and Jon Scheyer). And many "experts" are riding the West Virginia bandwagon.

Us?!?

We'll say Michigan State and Duke.

Got Wood?!?

Just loaded the final pieces of the Crap Wood into the bin to ready for the fireplace. By the time the pizza is off the grill tonight, the pile will be G-O-N-E.

Friday morning odds & ends...

1. Took the kids out to breakfast this morning. To prep for this, we jacked up the elliptical. We normally set the tension to 2 and then for the final 7 minutes, we throw it up to 3 and move the incline to 15 percent. Today, however, for the home stretch we moved the tension to 4 and the incline to 25 percent. We did not notice anything major discomfort. Of course, after we showered, our right hip totally tightened up on us. Now standing up and sitting down are a tad painful. That would be the hip flexor, right?!? Is there such a thing?!?

2. After breakfast, we stopped and got our head shaved with The Playmaker.

3. Despite the temps due to hit the 60s today, we are hosting a day long fire. We are about 75 percent through our cord of wood from the fall. But we still have about 30 pieces of crap wood from two years ago that has sat out unprotected for the past 12 months. Our goal today is to burn through all of that.

4. The kids are both outside having play-dates. Funny, back in the day, there was no such thing as a play-date. It was called, "We're going outside to play." Remember?!? You'd be out for hours at a time.

5. Tonight's menu: Pizza on the grill. Two of them, actually. One pepperoni and the other sausage.

More updates later...