Monday Morning Links

Colin Cowheard is the best personality on ESPN radio. Intelligent, witty, realistic and obnoxiously sexist -- he is the common man. He is on every day from 10 A.M. - 1 P.M. Last week, he shared his list of which five college football teams have a shot at the National Title and which five favorites don't. Click here to listen!



More Links:

Bill Conlin on why the Phillies have ZERO Latin American prospects!

Darrell Arthur blames Claritin for his drop in the NBA Draft?!?

Tomorrow, the 76ers will begin an $11 million shopping spree! (Paging Elton Brand! Paging Elton Brand!)

$850 a month for home heating oil next winter?!?

Best places to retire!

Have questions about your Stimulus Checks?!?

New Look for Wal-Mart?!?

Tea Partay

BBQ Menu for nine @ 4 P.M.

1. Hot dogs

2. Hamburgers

3. Sausages

4. Chicken wings

5. Caesar salad

6. Kielbasa

7. Potato Skins

8. Corona Light

9. Miller Chill

Friday Humidity: Three & out...

1. Watched our 6-year old's flag football camp playoff game this morning. His team lost, but he scored one touchdown and had a blast getting a chance to play center in the shotgun.

2. We are having friends over for a BBQ tomorrow. Went to the packy to pick up some bottled fluid intoxicants. No big deal, right? At least until I managed to drop a 12-pack of Corona Light bottles on the floor. Shatter! Splash! Nice. Verrrrry Nice.

3. OK. After staining the deck in the summer sauna, we are hitting the couch to watch the draft (again) with our son via the DVR.

NBA Draft Thoughts...

1. Derrick Rose v. Michael Beasley! -- This is a no-brainer. Rose will be a good player right away and a very good player by year two. His outside shot isn't the best, but his overall package is outstanding. Beasley measures 6'8" -- too short to make a living in the post. Yes, he can step out to 21 feet, but he does not handle well enough to be a small forward. SO...he projects as the proverbial tweener. He won't stink, but he won't be an All-Star, either.

2. OJ Mayo will be a STAR! -- Can you say Chauncey Billups?!? That's what we envision for OJ. He can shoot it deep, get to the hole and is willing to pass. Who cares that he's had his hand out since the 8th grade? A college star who accepted gifts?!? Oh my, stop the presses. The only thing dumber than caring about that stuff, is the number of NBA teams who came out and said those allegations won't discourage them from drafting OJ. Oh, really?!? Ya think?!? How did you guys get to be so smart?

3. We can never get enough of Jay Bilas! -- A stiff as a player at Duke, he has become the top college hoops analyst on the planet. Unlike most of the people you will here talking about the draft tonight, Bilas actually knows what the hell he is talking about. Good or bad, he is honest with his opinions.

4. Kevin Love will be get you 12 & 6 as a rookie! -- Who cares that he is not quick or fast? The kid can ball.

5. Brook Lopez in the top 10? Um, no thank you! -- Yes, he sure is tall (7'0"). Beyond that? ZZZ. He'll never be anything other than a reserve.

6. Memo to Eric Gordon: Drop 15 pounds and you can be a star! He looked like the Dough Boy of the Big Ten this year. Seriously, his body fat must be close to Fat Boy Pee Pee's. Mix in some salads and you are talking about a 20 points per night player.

7. What's up with Joe Alexander of WVU?!? -- He was a very nice player this past season. But he never seemed to dominate on a consistent level. We would love him on our team, but some people now have him going in the top seven. He's not that good.

8. And how about Anthony Randolph of LSU? -- Two months ago, teams looked at his numbers (15 & 8) as an SEC freshman and everyone drooled. Then they gave him a physical and found out that 6'11" - 225 was really 6'10" and 197 pounds. Suddenly his stock dropped to the bottom of the first round. Then he worked out for teams and people forgot about his weight and became intoxicated with his athleticism. If you can wait three years, you may have a star. But we can't shake this feeling that he will never be anything but another Stromile Swift.

9. Who will roll the dice on DeAndre Jordan?!? -- He is taller and stronger than Kendrick Perkins, with about 100 times more athleticism. So what's the problem? Well, he only played 20 minutes per game last year as a rookie for Texas A&M. He shoots foul shots at a nifty 43 percent clip. And no one is sure he really loves playing. Best case? Moses Malone. Worst case? Wait for it ... Chris Washburn!

10. Don't worry! In Ed We Trust! -- This will be new general manager Ed Stefanski's first draft with the Your Philadelphia 76ers. Most assume he is going to go Big. Randolph, Jordan, Kosta Koufos, Donte Greene, Darrell Arthur and Marresse Speights are the likely names. Whatever Ed does, we will applaud. And we'll really applaud next week when Elton Brand opts out of his contract and signs with Big Ed.

*Bonus If Bill Walker slips into round two (because of a bum knee), someone will be getting a steal!

Jersey Shore 1966

Surf & Turf

Threw down a New York Strip Steak last night with some grilled shrimp. We basted the jumbo shrimp (U14) with olive oil, salt, pepper and Adobo. Since they were already cooked, we simply put them on the grill with the lid up for 90 seconds on each side.

Brisket Burger w/Provolone

We saw a recent episode of Tyler's Ultimate where he made cheeseburgers. He used ground brisket for his burgers, something we had not heard of before. So Saturday morning we picked up some brisket and had the butcher ground it up. Yesterday, one trial burger hit the grill. We got the Webber up to about 500 degrees before we let the burger slap the grate. Six minutes later, we flipped it. Three minutes after that, we added two slices of smoked provolone and let it melt for 60 seconds. Our take? Once you go brisket, you won't go back!

Nine weeks until Sooner Magic...

Fat Boy Pee Pee: "Look, girls, I throw JUST LIKE YOU!"

Happy Friday!

Shocking! Osama Obama is a LIAR!

Peter Vecsey on Rajon Rondo!

Fourteen year old student gets suspended for giving noogies to his teacher!

Players say Derek Jeter is game's most overrated player?!?

Tom Brady's woman makes more coin than he does?!?

Numbers and the NBA Conspiracy Theory!

Six ways to avoid a heart attack!

Paul Pierce -- role model for kids!

"Look, kids, I'm smoking!"

"Look, kids, I'm flipping you off with my middle finger!"

Observations from the Celtics championship parade

1. Why did Big Baby Davis remove his shirt? Um, Glen, work out all summer, mix in a few salads, drop 30 pounds and THEN you can remove your shirt.

2. Shocking (shocking!) that Fat Boy Pee Pee carried on like a complete LOSER. Between "dancing" on the Duck Boat and smoking his cigar, he looked like a total ass. If he lived next door to us, we would egg his house nightly. By the way, nice job wearing a long sleeve shirt to camouflage your blubber. Very Nice.

3. Why was Scot Pollard even allowed in the parade? Only Richard Seymour stole more money in the past 12 months.

4. Tommy (Gun) Heinsohn looked, um, less than steady on his Duck Boat. Perhaps, he started celebrating before the celebration?!?

5. Why was Kevin McHale not part of the parade?

6. Nice touch by Boston Fairy Mayor Devil Patrick to phone in from Los Angeles. He talks like a girl. And can he name even one Celtic?!?

Here's what we have to say about the Celtics winning the NBA Championship

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Phillies 8 Red Sox 2

Cole Hamels dominated Boston.

When did Paul Pierce join the Red Sox?!?

J-Roll led off the game with a dinger.

Ryan Howard: See the ball...be the ball.

What we learned from game 5

1. Kobe Bryant is simply not the best player in the game. Great, silky-smooth athlete? Of course. Does he, at times, make things look ridiculously easy? Sure does. But Paul Pierce, and the Celtics' defense in general, have made him look average at frequent intervals. It is incredible how he has been unable to get to the basket. And it's more than just Boston's (illegal) collapsing (read:zone) defense. Even when he is single teamed in space, it has been rare the times he is able to get a clean look at the rim.

2. Has Zen Master Phil taken one hit too many on the old Native American pipe? By often going into a 1-4 set with Kobe handling the ball up top, he is begging Boston to clog the lane and force Kobe into taking jump shots. Hey, Phillip, put down the Buddhist Zen sheeeeeeeeet and get Kobe's ass in the post. At least down there he could jump over Thunder Thighs Pierce. Also, why was Chris Mihm in the game last night? Why? Why? Why? Letting Andrew Bynum play on one knee in his fancy three-piece suit would have made more sense than letting Mihm see the court. Chris Mihm?!? And it took Phillip over five games to realize that Jordan Farmar is the type of athlete to give Boston trouble on both ends of the court.

3. It pains us to say that Fat Boy Pee Pee is the best player on the court. Offensively, he has been almost unstoppable. But it has been his defense that made us a believer. When he mans up on Kobe, two-four looks downright human.

4. Vladimir Radmanovic has to be the worst defender in the history of Whore Stern's league. Seriously, Pierce went by him last night like he was playing in the driveway by himself. We are pretty sure that our six year old could get to the rim if Radmanovic was playing D on him.

4. Jeff Van Gundy is right -- James Posey is a man. True, Van Gundy's man crush on Posey last night was bordering on nauseating. But he raised a valid point. When it's time to sack up and show some stones, you want James Posey on your team and on the court. Going back to our UMass daze days, the kids from Xavier always played hard, played killer lock-down D and kept their mouths shut. That was Posey then, and that's him now. Boy, how we will delight in the fact that some team will give him HUGE bucks this summer and lure him away from Boston.

5. It was great to see Proud Dad Bill Walton with a glowing grin on his face as his boy Luke hit a runner in the lane. True father's pride (on Father's Day, no less!). But, we were really hoping to see his face on camera two minutes later after Luke fouled Pierce at midcourt in a mindless foul that gave Boston two free throws as it mounted its comeback.

6. Yet again, Kevin Garnett failed to take over offensively in a big game. It has happened so many times, all must agree that he is simply not wired correctly to be The Man on offense. Too bad, because he has the skills that would make him the one of the five best players in the history of the game.

7. We began to pack up at halftime, but The Wife insisted we stay up. (She is all about cheering for the Boston Teams.) Yes, it was fun watching Boston lose. Especially when the turning point of the game was Pee Pee, with a chance to tie with under two minutes left, got stripped by Kobe -- who then dunked LA into a four point lead. But we paid the price all day today, moving in slow motion in a chronic state of fatigue. Even worse, we will have to do it all over again tomorrow night. And the kicker is the Celtics now get to win the title in Boston. Ugh.

Father's Day Potato Skins in Four Steps

Tom Brady picks wrong receiver

Hey, Tom Brady. Tell us again why you dumped Bridget Moynahan for Gisele Bundchen?!? From what we see here, Bridget is a no-brainer!

Tim Russert, 58

Good reporter. Great man.

Game 4 -- Winner Takes All?!?

The opinion here is that whoever wins tonight's game is in control of the series. Obviously if it's the Celtics, the series will be 3-1 and, essentially, over. If the Lakers win, it will be merely tied, 2-2. But if that happens, we think LA will seize the momentum and end up in Boston with a 3-2 lead.

We expect tonight's game to be physical, confrontational and extremely close. In the end, we see Boston squeaking by the Lakers.

Random Thoughts on the NBA Finals

1. Let us get this straight: The teams had two days off in Boston between games one and two. And yet, they get one day off between games two and three? And that includes losing six hours to fly out to Los Angeles? Seriously, how stupid is that?!?

2. Guess we were wrong in questioning those who said Ray Allen is a better player than either Lamar Odom or Pau Gasol. Allen has helped out Boston (sometimes in major ways), while Gasol and Odom have been, for the most part, completely lost. We should have known better about Odom, since he has been an under-achiever since leaving -- wait for it...the University of Rhode Island. We didn't see this coming with Gasol, however. But Kendrick Perkins has bullied him on the court. And Gasol has morphed into this Dirk Nowitzki-please-don't-touch-me kind of player.

3. Hey, remember Tim Donaghy?!? By all accounts this guy is just a mess. A bad guy off the the court. A disgrace on it. But you know what? Isn't it so easy to believe his (latest) bombshell -- the one where he accused NBA execs of fixing the playoffs by getting refs to give certain players preferential treatment? (Who would have ever thought that the immortal Leon Powe would get preferential treatment?!?) One of the games in question is game six of the 2002 Conference Finals between the Lakers and Kings. Trailing three game to two, the Lakers won by four points. They were aided by shooting 15 more free throws than Sacramento. Let's face it -- was anyone going to watch the NBA Finals if the Sacramento Kings were involved? Yet, millions would certainly watch a Lakers team featuring Shaq and Kobe. Who among us has not seen his favorite team get absolutely screwed by a single ref or refs? I can guarantee that referee Steve Javie hates (hates!) Allen Iverson. If I had a drink for every time I saw Javie screw (screw!) over A.I. when he was on Our 76ers, I would be an alcoholic. (Bill Murray, anyone?!?) Is Donaghy telling the truth? NBA Lovers like David Whore Stern will tell you no, you cannot believe the word of a "convicted felon" or a "criminal" (The Commish's words). Yet, if nothing else, hasn't Donaghy taught us one thing: That not everyone in the NBA is legit and on the proverbial up and up? I can't say for sure if everything Donaghy is saying is true. But I would be willing to bet that at least some of it is accurate.

4. Wow! Fat Boy Pee Pee didn't play so well in game three, huh? We are sure that his pathetic 2-14 shooting night was due to his "injured" knee. Further proof that Fat Boy's "injured" knee is bogus? In today's Boston Globe, there are about 100 articles on last night's game. Not one makes reference to Bloated Boy's "injured" knee. Niiiiiiiiice.

New Recipe for Baby Backs

Cooked in oven for two hours at 225 degrees. Wrapped them in foil and added one cup of apple juice. Cooked for one more hour, before taking off foil and letting them cook for a fourth and final hour. Result? Very tender with just a hint of apple flavor.

Card Carrying Members of Celtics Nation

Bob Delaney -- I am a real tough guy. In the late '70s I worked as an undercover agent and infiltrated the mob. I am so cool, I wrote a book about it: My Years Infiltrating the Mob. Please go out and buy it. Then I can brag to my fellow zebras that one person actually bought my book. I still like to try and look and act like I am a mobster. And no one can mess with me. That guy, Kobe? He thinks he's all that! Well, I took care of him, didn't I? He had two fouls faster than you can say, "Wise Guy." I am the baddest man on the court. And I let everyone know it. Hey, after all, the fans come to see me, right? Did you notice the Celtics shot 38 foul shots to only 10 for the Lakers? How effing great is that?!? Let's see my boy Bavetta top that.

Kevin McHale -- I was a skinny All-Star for the Cetlics during the glory days of the 1980s. Now, I am an obese, washed-up loser of a G.M. for the Timberwolves. Two seasons ago, my team sucked and my best player, Kevin Garnett, wanted me dead. So what did I do? I traded him to my Best Bud, Danny Ainge, and my former team the Boston Celtics. What did I get in return? Well, let's see. I got a nice player in Al Jefferson. And...well, let me think here for a minute. Gosh, I really didn't get much else for KG. Well, besides a lot of crap and a few death threats from Minnesota fans. But, I'm cool with that. I will certainly never win a title here in Minnesota. And I probably will lose my job in the next year. But I hand delivered a title to Ainge and Boston. That makes me a good G.M., right?

Vladimir Radmanovic -- Most Boston fans had never heard of me a week ago. Now, they know me as the guy with the 1980s haircut and the typical beard that all the foreigners in The League wear. Oh yeah, I am also the guy who can't guard Paul Pierce for crap. It's just sooooo hard. I get in his face and he drives right by me. I back off and he sinks jumpers over me. Man, did Michael Cooper have this much trouble with Larry Bird? I swear, I guard Luke Walton everyday in practice and I shut him down! Now, if you will excuse me -- I am going to go have a smoke with my man Vlade Divac.

Leon Pow Powe -- Man, I don't know what I did to deserve this, but someone is looking out for me. Have you been watching me these first two games? All I have to do is step onto the court and they call a foul on the closest Laker. I got the ball and Phil Jackson did that cool whistle thing with his teeth. Next thing I know, they whistled Phil for a foul and gave me two shots. I walked over to Kobe and inquired as to how the Mrs. was and bam! Kobe gets called for a foul and there I am again at the stripe for two shots. Good Gawd, Man, last night I shot 13 foul shots. That was three more than LA's entire team.

Game 1: A second look

We tortured ourselves Thursday night, staying up to watch the entire game -- knowing the Celtics were going to win. We also DVR'd the game so our 6-year old son could watch it. Yesterday (after he scored seven goals in a 12-5 soccer win), we sat down and watched the game. Here are some observations:

1. Boston definitely benefited from some home cooking via the referees. Good Gawd, there was one play where P.J. Brown had the ball in the lane for six seconds. We know this, because we replayed it three times, counting out loud each time. And did Gramps Brown get flagged for the infraction? Of course not, he missed a bunny and then Leon Powe got the rebound and Old Friend Dick Bavetta somehow called a phantom push in the back on Pau Gasol. So instead of three seconds, the Celtics were gifted three points. Also, that great hustle play that KG made to save the ball from going in the back court? The one that led to Boston hitting a three-pointer? His foot was a good three (there's that frigging number again) inches over the line. Of course, the line was obscured by the championship trophy emblem. The ref who ruled "no back court"? -- yup, wait for it, Dick Bavetta.

2. Speaking of Gasol, no sooner did we say he was superior to Ray Allen, when he lived down to the Stereotypical Euro. He played like a total pussy wimp. If he can't give them something in the post (as well as get the boards), we could potentially be looking at a sweep. (Something, by the way, that would most likely cause David Stern to lose consciousness.)

3. Not to beat a dead horse fat horse, but we did not see Fat Boy Pee Pee limp even once after the angels told him to get out of the wheelchair and back into the game. Now, he says he will wait until after the finals to get an MRI on his "injured" knee. Take this one to the bank: when the series is over, Pee Pee is heading to the nearest buffet. He sure as hell ain't going to the nearest MRI.

4. Not sure why Vladimir Radmanovic starts for Team Jackson. Shouldn't power forwards average more than 3 boards a game in the regular season? If Action Jackson's guys are going to get crushed on the boards, he may as well move Lamar Odom to power forward and let sniper Sasha Vujacic play the three. We love that guy. All he wants to do is shoot the ball and bitch at the refs on D. Classic.

5. Tonight? We say the Lakers will lead for most of the game and then lose down the stretch. Celtics by 5.

This man needs a bra

Action Jackson takes aim at Fat Boy's "injury"

Vintage Phillip, going after Fat Boy Pee Pee for his disgraceful actions last night. This is from ESPN.com's Chris Sheridan:
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The drama of Pierce's comeback spurred some commentators to compare it to Willis Reed's comeback from a serious hip injury in Game 7 of the 1970 NBA Finals. Jackson, who was a teammate of Reed on that championship New York Knicks team, took issue with the Reed scenario being a valid comparison.
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"If I'm not mistaken, I think Willis Reed missed a whole half and three quarters almost of a game and literally had to have a shot, a horse shot, three or four of them in his thigh to come back out and play," Jackson said. "Paul got carried off and was back on his feet in a minute.
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"I don't know if the angels visited him … in that timeout period that he had or not, but he didn't even limp when he came back out on the floor. I don't know what was going on there. Was Oral Roberts back there in their locker room?" Jackson said, making a reference to the controversial American televangelist who preached the possibility of miracles.
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Fat Boy Pee Pee -- The Ultimate Faker

Don't say we didn't warn you. We did. Almost a month ago. We told you Paul Pierce was a Total Fraud. Great basketball player, yes. No denying that. But he is a person who always is trying to be something he's not. A Complete Phony.

Last night, in game one of the NBA Finals, it was on display for the world to see.

One minute he goes down after teammate Kendrick Perkins bumps into him. The next, he is writhing in pain on the floor. Then he is carried off the court by two scrubs named Allen and Scalabrine.

Then we see him in a wheelchair!

Less than 10 minutes (real time) later, he is back on the court hitting three pointers. Some idiot (hard to identify which one among the trio of ABC dunces) compares Pee Pee to Willis Reed!

Willis Freaking Reed?!?!?!?

Are you friggin kidding me?!?

There is not a doubt in our mind that he was faking it one-hundred-percent. What a tool.

Finally, after his Medical Miracle (I can walk!), in the post game press conference, Fat Boy made reference to angels helping him out of the wheel chair and back onto the court. We can only surmise that those same angels had no interest in helping Laker star Andrew Bynum come back from a knee injury this year.

No Lie: If Pierce got traded to the Your Our 76ers today, we would stop cheering for them. Immediately.

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By the way, just so you don't think hatred for Fat Boy Pee Pee is clouding our judgement, Bill Platschke agrees with us. And...So does Jeff Goodwin.

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Randoms:

*Did referee Dick Bavetta get any calls correct last night?

*Unless the Lakers do a better job on the boards, this series will be short. Very short.

*The Lakers can hang their hat on the fact they were in the game till the very end despite getting nothing from Kobe. He (as well as many of is teammates) had several shots go "half-way down" before rimming out.

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*We'll say it again: If KG stayed in the post the entire game, he would be an automatic 30 points per game player.

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Celtics & Lakers: The view from Boston

Listening to WEEI all week, it is amazing that the Lakers even bothered to make the trip from the West Coast to battle the Celtics. Why bother? A Boston sweep is inevitable. At least according to WEEI hosts and callers. This is their logic:

1. Rajon Rondo will be able to exploit Derek Fisher. Hello? When was the last time Rondo exploited anyone when he had the ball? High school? We love to watch him shoot from the outside. It makes us think if we were a few inches taller, we, too, could play in the NBA. We guarantee we can kick Rondo's ass in a game of H-O-R-S-E. (No dunking, of course.)

2. After Kobe, the Celtics have the next three best players. KG and Pee Pee are certainly the two best players after Kobe. But Ray Allen (or given his playoff swoon, is it George McGinnis?) over Pau Gasol and/or Lamar Odom? Not so fast, my friend. (By the way, college football less than three months away!) Yes, it appears Allen is out of his shooting funk. But would you really rather him over Gasol or Odom? Playing with Kobe (who now actually passes sometimes) and his 21 shots a game, the numbers put up by "G.O." are impressive. As Hubie says, "Gasol gives you 19 points per game and Odom 14." Plus, Odom adds 10 boards and Gasol 8. Furthermore, they both average almost 4 assists. At best (at best!), it's a wash.

3. KG will abuse Odom (or Gasol) in the post. Yes, KG can hurt the Lakers in the post. The problem is, HELLO?!?, he doesn't exactly spend a lot of time down there. If Celtics' fans can find one gripe with KG, it's this: Why the hell don't you post up every time on offense? Instead, KG goes down there for a possession and then spends the next four on the perimeter.

4. Kendrick Perkins will be too physical on defense for Gasol. Kendrick Perkins? Kendrick Frigging Perkins?!? Are you kidding us? Seriously, what is easier to envision: Gasol going into a shell because Perkins is built like a truck or Gasol driving past Perkins baseline for numerous dunks? We rest our case. Those who think Perkins is the Gasol Stopper simply haven't seen the Lakers play the last three months. Or they are Drug Addicted Communists.

Now, as much as we have tried for our son's sake, we simply can't cheer for the Celtics. At least as long as Fat Boy Pee Pee is around. So we would like nothing more than to see a Laker sweep. But that, of course, ain't happening. In fact, while much of the Sporting World outside of Boston is going with the Lakers -- we are convinced the Celtics will win. Not because they are the better team (though they probably are, by the slimmest of margins), but because it will be torture for us to watch them win. In case you haven't noticed, Our Teams don't win a lot of games these days.

Celtics in six.

At least our son will be happy.

We've been placed on Injured Reserve

From getting shutout to 22 hits. From the frigging newspaper delivery man to a swig of Gatorade.

Here is our (painful) tale of hoping the scale smiles up at us!

4:50 AM -- Get up and get dressed for running. Check Internet and discover Phillies were shutout, 2-0. Check this blog and see that we had 22 hits overnight. Begin 15 minute stretching routine to get the hamstring loose. Or at least loose enough to complete the 4.8 mile run. Why are we running on a bad hammy? Because winter weight is winter weight and summer weight is summer weight. Makes sense, no?!? And Thursday mornings are The-Dreaded-Or-Beloved-Weigh-In-Day. In the span of less than three seconds the digital scale will either make or break our mood for the coming weekend. Success equals a care free weekend. Non-success equals, "Hand me a gun so we can kill ourselves."

5:10 -- Daughter's pink i-pod in tow, we exit house in Nike kicks, adidas shorts, Nike team issued UNC sweatshirt and a winter hat (bugs are bad).

5:12 -- The run begins. More like a one legged hobble. The hammy is doing a slow burn.

5:14 -- We can't shake our wife's nagging voice: "You know, if you took a day off every once in a while, your leg wouldn't hurt."

5:15 -- We contemplate life as a 40 year old single man, sans wife. Lots of TV --nothing but sports, cooking shows and The Office. Tons of spicy food.

5:19 -- The first of six laps is completed (each one is .8 of a mile). The hammy is starting to get loose.

5:23 -- We realize that we really only listen to one song over and over while running: "The Boss", by T-Pain. We first heard it while attending the Celtics-76ers game in March. The Sixers kicked Boston's ass, by the way.

5:24 -- As the rap song plays, we consider for a moment that we are a 40-year old white male living in the 'burbs.
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5:26 -- We pass someone walking a dog. We pause the music. Our secret is safe. khhhhhdsgfdsgfdsfgdsfgdsgfdsfgdsfgdsfgdsfgdsfgdsfgdsfgdsgf
5:38 -- On our fourth lap, the hammy (entire leg, really) just plain HURTS.
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5:49 -- Now on last lap of 4.8 mile jaunt. We begin to contemplate getting old. A total cliche, to be sure, but it is right on the mark: The mind is willing, but the body is not. Flashback to one of our old hoop coaches, who said: "After 40, it's all about Advil and ice."

5:55 -- We finish final lap. The problem is, the Newspaper Guy is driving toward us and we: A. Don't want him to know where we live. B. Will feel less than a man if he sees us stop. So we do something that, given our physical state, is REALLY STUPID. We strap it on for another lap.

5:56 -- Behind us someone yells, "You are a FRIGGING IDIOT!"

5:57 -- We are pretty sure that person is our wife.

6:02 -- Seven laps are done -- and so are we. The extra lap gives us 5.6 miles. All that's left is the weigh-in.

6:20 -- The scale says we are down 15 1.5 pounds. Life is good. So good.

6:21 -- Before showering, we go (with our Gatorade Weigh-in Reward) and collapse on the floor for 15 minutes of zzz.

6:36 -- We realize that was stupid thing to do, because the hammy/leg is now completely stiff. The pain we endure to get up is, no lie, excruciating!

7:05 -- Cleaned up and ready to enjoy a day at home on Injured Reserve. We head over to Dunkin' Donuts, so we can have some coffee while we wait with the kids at the bus stop.

9:00 -- Back from the bus stop and a quick trip to the market. We go to webmd.com and this is what it says for a hamstring strain: Hamstring injuries are slow to heal because of the constant stress applied to the injured tissue from walking. Complete healing can take six to 12 months. Re-injuries are common because it's hard for many guys to stay inactive for that long.

9:01 -- We realize we are soooooo screwed.

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Boneless pork w/ a side dish of Sciatica

Added salt and pepper on one side. Grilled on high heat (about 500 degrees) for seven minutes. Then flipped them and applied honey mustard BBQ sauce. Closed the lid and let them cook for four minutes. F-A-N-T-A-S-T-I-C. We are most likely going on the IR list tomorrow with a Chauncey Billups-esque hamstring pull/sciatica. That means tons of cooking shows on the DVR, lots of heat and ice on the hammy and -- best of all -- baby back ribs on the grill for dinner.

The Ultimate Bummer...

Hazel Mae is leaving NESN!

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(Plus, she dated Ricky Davis and Steve Levy?!?)

David Stern is a Money Whore

News Flash: David Stern is a money whore! Shocking. If you are old enough to remember Kevin McHale clotheslining Kurt Rambis in game four of the 1984 NBA Finals, then you may also remember that it happened during the second period of a Sunday afternoon game. That's right -- an AFTERNOON NBA FINALS GAME! So that meant it probably happened around 4:30 PM. Now, if some Celtic (Kendrick Perkins?) decides to cheap-shot a Laker (Pau Gasol?) in the second quarter of a Sunday game, it will happen around 11 PM.

Diehard Boston fans will be watching. Laker fans, due to the time change, will be watching. But you know who won't be watching? Our 6-year old, that's who. He absolutely loves playing, watching and reading basketball. And he adores the Celtics. But he won't get to watch a single minute of the series live. Not one second!

And all because Commissioner Whore Stern wants to squeeze a few more bucks out of advertisers. Seriously, would the NBA go belly-up if game two, played this Sunday, started at 6 PM instead of 9:30? That way kids, my kid, heck even adults -- could polish off at least the first half (dare we say three quarters?) before calling it a night. During this wonderful Tuesday-Thursday-Sunday Finals, there will be two (most likely) Sunday games. Games two and five, one on each team's home court. Start each one at 6. The other games can all be prime time. Will Stern have to tell his owners they will be making a few less bucks? No doubt about it. But the amount of positive P.R. it would generate would be insane. Commissioner Whore Stern would be hailed as The White Knight. Mr. Do The Right Thing. Mr. I'm All About The Kids.

Instead, David Stern will continue to be a short, fat pudgy man who will do anything for a buck. And our kid will miss out on watching (live) his Boston Celtics play for a championship.

So I tell 'em I'm a pro jock...

The accusations by Bill Murray's wife got us to thinking about Murray's movie career. Seriously, does it get any better than Stripes and Caddyshack?

Chicken Thighs on the Grill, 2.0