Hey -- remember me?!?

ESPN.com updates the Ryan Perrilloux story!

Ouch -- did he REALLY say THAT?!?

Tom Casale, former beat writer Patriots Football Weekly, penned an article on his time covering the New England Patriots. He gets very specific about who the good and bad guys are on the team. His opinions will certainly surprise many in Patriot Nation. He even makes reference to a rumor about a different type of video tape situation involving Coach Bill -- oh my! Click here to read his comments!

Pulled Pork

Threw a Pork Shoulder (also known as a Boston Pork Butt) into the oven last Friday night. The thing weighed about five pounds. We cooked it in the oven for just under six hours at 275 degrees. We must be modest and come clean: It was fantastic! Even the other three members of our family, none of whom are pork diehards, thought it was tasty.

We first applied salt, pepper and, of course, Adobo.

Next, we mixed mustard, fat free Italian dressing & thyme.

Six hours later, this is what we had.

Finished product. Note juices rolling off pork.

The Boston Strangler

Andrew Toney abusing Robert Parish!

Andrew 22, version 4.0* (*31 days until Oklahoma's first game)

This is the fourth edition of the column, which is a a blatant rip-off of (1) Pat Forde's "40 Yard Dash" column that he pens during the college football season. (He also does a college basketball one, but it is his pigskin one that coaches, players and fans anxiously wait for each week.) Of course, our version comes with a twist. Instead of 40 things pertaining to college football (Forde's runs the gamut from coaches and players to cheerleaders and college bars), ours is 22 things pertaining to...well, whatever is on our mind at the time. As for the name of the column? It honors (2) Andrew Toney, the single greatest under-6'4"-offensive-threat in history of the NBA.

We have always been skeptical when hearing commercials for (3) Stubhub.com. Always figured it was a gimmick and little good could come from it. Then a family friend moved his two court-side seats for game two of the NBA Finals. The price tag? A cool $5,000. Which, by the way, was deposited into his account in two days. Then he mailed the tix.

And so it was a few weeks ago that we were looking for (4) Phillies tickets in August. So onto Stubhub.com we logged. We lingered for several days, monitoring the action. There were 12 seats, good seats (good seats!) that we had our eye on. Finally, four of them got scooped up. An hour later, we closed the deal on four of our own. Three days later we had the tix! Their face value is $50 a pop. We got them for $77 each -- a markup for $27 a ticket. So we ponied up an extra $108 to get the four tickets. However: 1. It's totally legal. 2. We didn't have to worry about hoping some sleazy scalper had four good seats for us the day of the game. 3. The whole transaction took less than five minutes.

Summary: We love Stubhub!

Summer is notorious for terrible television. Yet, we somehow have come across a show worthy of DVRing, (5) My Guys on TBS. It's a blatant attempt to copy (6) Friends, and it is nowhere near as good. Knowing that up front is key. Still, it is a cute comedy about a group of, wait for it...friends. Four guys and one gal. And most of the show takes place in a coffee house bar. It's on Thursday nights.

While you digest (or have the potential to digest) countless hours of NFL coverage every day, does anyone else remember when the only show on during the week was (7) The NFL Today? Our man (8) Brent Musburger was the host. He was flanked by ex-Eagle (9) Irv Cross. (10) Phyllis George was the token hottie who lobbed the softest of questions during player interviews. And (11) Jimmy the Greek gave Brent the inside dope and then predicted the outcomes of the games.

It was great stuff. We looked forward to it more than the Sunday games themselves.

Of course, now it would look like something from your local community access channel.

And that brings us to (12) NFL training camps. When we were growing up, hardly anyone went to watch them. We would go and see maybe a few hundred other people, tops. The players and coaches walked right past you to get to and from the fields. Nothing and no one (except your own fear) prevented you from walking right up to them thisclose and asking for a picture or autograph.

We once had five minute a conversation with (13) Craig James of the Patriots. And get this -- he initiated it. (He saw our brother wearing a Phillies shirt and James' brother (14) Chris James was the starting right fielder for the Phillies.) Another time, we walked up to (15) Dick Vermeil of the Eagles and got an autograph. Our father was there and called out, "Hey, Dick. Can I get a picture of you with my son?" The Coach politely said sure, stopped, put his hand on our shoulder and smiled. To a 12-year old boy (not to mention his 36-year old father), it was a thrill. We are pretty sure that photo is still on our father's desk in his home office.

Now days? Fans attending the camps number in the thousands. Said fans are also roped off from far (far!) from the players, coaches and practice fields. Understandable. But, still, a definite bummer.

Speaking of our father. Growing up, we always poked fun at him for listening to music that was (at least) 20 years old and wondered why he never listened to (16) modern music. He basically said his music was good enough and that he did not have the time, energy or inclination to discover new music. That always made us laugh.

And so at the ripe age of 40, we trudge into the basement every morning to hump the elliptical trainer. And what music do we listen to to help pass the time? The same music we enjoyed 20 years ago. Our kids, heck -- even our wife -- make fun of us. But you know what? We have neither the time, energy or inclination to discover new music. We enjoyed it 20 years ago. We still enjoy it today.

Does anyone out there remember (17) Statis Pro Baseball? We were about 12 when we stumbled into it while at (18) Toys R Us. Greatest baseball game ever created! And yes, we would prefer it to playing 2K8 on (19) PlayStation3. The only problem is, we must be in the minority there. For they stopped making the game nearly 10 years ago. We still have the original board and "fast action" cards. The problem is you need updated player cards every season. We found some fellow geeks on-line who made their own cards and ordered a set a few years ago, PK (pre-kids). Still the same great game. And now we are thinking that next summer we will order new player cards and introduce the game to our 6-year old sports fanatic. We are guessing that, just like his old man, he, too will love the game.

(20) Danny Ainge won a title last season because the Celtics had high character guys (minus Fat Boy Pee Pee, of course) who bought into a team concept and defense-first attitude. (Well, and because his best friend (21) Kevin McHale gave him Kevin Garnett.) But this summer Ainge has flirted with such bad apples as Corey Maggette, Darius Miles and Chris Kaman. Makes us think (yet again) of (22) Quint in Jaws: "I don't know, Chief. He's either really smart or really dumb."

Peter Gammons weighs in on Manny

"Manny is right. The Red Sox are tired of him. They are not going to pick up the option for 2009 and spend one more year as his prisoner."

Great move! Just 1.5 years too late!

Phillies send starter stiff Adam Eaton to minors!

Go off the grid...

"It's not unusual for a guy to go underground. Take a break from life. Go off the grid."

Is this a throw back jersey?!?

Randy Moss, Punter?!?

Pretty Cool...

Manny on way to Phillies?!?

"Sources said the Mets' No. 1 nemesis, the Phillies, have the best chance to trade for Ramirez because Philadelphia manager Charlie Manuel has perhaps the strongest relationship with him of anyone in the majors...with 10-and-5 rights, Ramirez can refuse any trade and the belief is he might not accept a trade to anywhere but Philadelphia."

Football is back!

Tom Brady and Randy Moss at Friday's Patriots practice.

Samiches for 89k?!?

Wow. We probably have spent at least that much coin there over the years. Now, it can be yours ours!

Gone Fishing Boating...

Our good friend Captain Ray is taking us out on his boat today. We will have our Blackberry with us to monitor the Manny trade talks, as well as the Phillies' Pathetic Oh.

Bone-in Rib Eye with a Twist...

Looking for a new twist on our Good Friend -- the Rib Eye Steak, we did some experimenting yesterday. We took the marinade recipe we use for our chicken wings and tried it with steak.

We let the steak sit in the marinade for three hours.

After that, this is what we had to play with on the grill.

Six minutes on one side and two minutes on the other produced this:

The verdict? It worked well. It definitely had some kick to it (which is what we wanted). We wouldn't use it every time, but for something different it works perfectly.

*If anyone wants the recipe, just shoot us an e-mail.

College Football Live, 3.0

Well, it can't be Christmas every day, right?!?

And so it was on Wednesday, day three of ESPN's College Football Live, that we got a real stinker-rooo. If Brent Musburger and Todd Blackledge are the varsity, then yesterday's Tag Team Duo of Ineptitude featuring Wendi Nix and Desmond Howard are the middle school team. Make that the middle school B team.

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Note the picture of Nix. It is clearly old. Now, she has added six inches of hair and not to be rude, but about 25 pounds of meat. But the real problem is it's debatable how much college football she actually knows. She failed to mention any players off the top of her head, instead sticking to her script. (Question: Can she name 12 college players not named Tim Tebow?!?) The questions she posed of Howard (as well as Mark May) were softer than soft. And she brought far too much energy and enthusiasm to the set. Clearly she was trying to mask her lack of knowledge. Dick Vitale brings the same energy and enthusiasm (and often gets criticized for it), but his knowledge his obvious. Unfortunately, for Nix, her lack of knowledge is equally obvious. And spare us the sexist cries. Michelle Tafoya, Erin Andrews, Bonnie Bernstein and even Pam Ward would all be able to run the show 1,000 times better than Nix.

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As for Howard, it appears he is on the show because:

1. He was a great college player.

2. He won the Heisman.

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Because otherwise, he would not even be able to land a spot on your local cable channel. His voice is irritating and his comments lacked any substance at all. He looked like the ultimate buffoon when he was rambling on about "Slick Rick's gold tooth." (By the way, Slick Rick is a rapper from the 1980s. That means that about two percent of the people watching yesterday knew who he is.)

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Despite these two fools, there was some good stuff on the show:

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*Classic 1949 footage of Joe Paterno taking a pick to the house for Brown University.

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*Classic 1986 footage of Joe Paterno saying he only wants to coach another four or five years.

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*An interview with a candid Bobby Bowden, who said his his program needs to do a "better job of evaluating talent" in recruiting.

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*Bowden was interviewed by ESPN's Dari Nowkiah. When the interview ended, Bobby said, "Thank you, Ben." Classic. Totally classic.

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*The EA Sports simulated video game between Penn State and Oregon State.

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*Finally (finally!) they got rid of the graphics running up-down-and-all-around the screen!

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The WNBA: Where chics come to fight!

Wow. Who knew WNBA Chics could (and would) fight?

Tuesday night's game between the Los Angeles Sparks and Detroit Shock featured a game ending brawl between League Poster Girl Candace Parker and some thug from the Shock named Ron Artest Plenette Pierson. But it got even better, as Detroit assistant coach Rick Mahorn was ejected for shoving LA's Lisa Leslie, the first lady of women's hoops, to the deck. And then Leslie's teammate DeLisha Milton-Jones came to her defense and punched Mahorn...wait for it...in the back! (Can you picture an NBA player slugging another player in the back?!?) The look on Mahorn's face was priceless. He turned around and looked like a mosquito had landed on his back. We can't even be sure he felt the tap "punch."

In the immediate aftermath, Leslie did a live interview with ESPN's Rebecca Lobo and said how ashamed she was to be part of such an embarrassing situation. The fight was such big news that newspapers checked in with Kobe Bryant to get his take. This from the Sacramento Bee: "I think it's good for her (Candace Parker) that she didn't back down." Not to be out done, Joe Maloof, co-owner the Sacramento Monarchs (and Sacramento Kings), when asked about the fight said: "I don't see it in a negative way." (Rest assured if he said that about an NBA fight, Whore Stern would be meeting with him in 60 seconds and telling him to bring his checkbook.) Anyway, here is the video. It's worth a good chuckle!

ESPN College Football Live, 2.0

Yesterday's highlights:

1. Any time Kirk Herbstreit is on, it's a good thing. Smart, articulate, and well connected -- he is a cut above Todd Blackledge as ESPN's top analyst. (CBS' Gary Danielson is the best overall.)

2. Mark May made his College Football Live 2008 debut yesterday. He, too, is good, due to his decisive opinions. In fact, he's very good when he doesn't have Lou Holtz around to play the ever annoying (and totally phony) good cop/bad cop.

3. Splint Our Man Brent Musburger revisited Blackledge's popular game feature from last season, "Taste of the Town", in which Todd would visit one restaurant from the town in which he was broadcasting. After 60 seconds of chow-down clips, May (looking a tad heavier this season) asked Blackledge (looking a tad anorexic this season) how he stayed so thin. QB14's response? "You know the secret-- the treadmill. Workout to eat."

4. Perhaps Blackledge was in a food induced slumber (especially after Musburger had an ESPN chef bring him a heaping plate of grub), because when referring to Texas Tech coach Mike Leach, he called him Rick Leach. Last time we checked, Rick Leach was Michigan's quarterback in 1978!

5. Yesterday's helmet battle was won (correctly) by Georiga, which soundly defeated Oregon. Today's match-up is Penn State and Clemson. My six year old clicked on Clemson. I am guessing they will win in a landslide.

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6. Musburger ended the second day by stating that Clemson was his sleeper to crash the BCS Champion Game.

Stone Harbor -- That's what we're talking about!

"The Sixers have some trade bait"

So says Sports Illustrated's Chris Mannix. Specifically, he says Jason Smith is a wanted man. The second year pro had a "superb" week in Vegas, averaging 15.8 points and 8 rebounds. Read more!

20 Philly Cheesesteaks in 20 days...

ESPN College Football Live, 1.0

Well, we are rounding the corner to fall. Cooler nights? Nope. Cooler mornings? Not yet. Back to school ads? Well, there have been a few. But the real reason we know we are heading down the back stretch is that ESPN began its daily show, College Football Live, yesterday afternoon (3:30 P.M.).

The Good!

1. Our Man Splint was the Quarterback! That's right, Brent Musburger, for whom history will one day say was the greatest sports announcer of his era, was the host. He has been doing sports on television for almost 40 years. But he is at his best doing college football. Funny. Knowledgeable. Passionate. And oh-so-dramatic at all the right times.

2. Todd Blackledge! Think of him as the pigskin equivalent of Jay Bilas. No one outworks him in the preparation department. And unlike most of the token ex-player commentators, Blackledge was a damn good college QB (and an NFL first round pick). But after seeing him yesterday, it looks like all Blackledge has done this summer is go to the beach and get savagely tan. He must have forgotten to eat. He looks like one of those Kenyan dudes that always win all the marathons. Todd, stop eating lettuce and latch on to some read meat.

3. The Helmet Playoffs! OK, it's not great -- but it is kind of fun. People go to espn.com and vote for their favorite helmet. Yesterday, the people (correctly) voted Georgia's helmet in over Miami's. It says here that Michigan will emerge as the ultimate winner.

4. Cheerleaders in studio! Always a good thing. However, instead of ones from Boston College -- they should strictly go with the SEC gals. Shirley Surely the girls from BC weren't invited simply because it was a two hour bus ride?!?

The Bad!

1. Too much info on the screen! Guys, this is not the NFL Draft. With that, more info is good. No one cares about team schedules running along the left hand side of the TV screen. And must you constantly run viewer e-mails along the bottom? Nearly every e-mail was from some yahoo in Columbus, Ohio saying...wait for it...Ohio State is awesome!

2. Jesse Palmer! He's not bad, but we can't shake the thought that he is only there because he was The Bachelor and the ESPN suits want college chics tuning in.

3. Jim Tressel! Tressel was good for one thing yesterday. Putting us to sleep on a lazy and hot summer day. ZZZ

Can you say, "Flaming Idiot!"?!?

Fat Boy Pee Pee at the ESPYs

New look...New problems

Well, we have been working with a new layout for this blog for the last 72 hours. We finally decided that it was easier to go ahead and make the change and then clean it up as we go. The first problem we found is that none of the YouTube videos show up! They did earlier today -- but for now, they are gone. And that sucks. From "Jaws" and "Miami Vice" to "Eight is Enough" and "Caddyshack" -- they were/are always good for a chuckle and the proverbial jog down Memory Lane. The next problem we found is with the color schemes. Throughout the testing period (using a sample Pit Master II blog), we were able to change background colors and letter fonts at will. Once we switched the original Pit Master to the new layout, we could no longer change the colors. Ugh.

Anyway, we will continue to fiddle and diddle (© Johnny Most) until we get it just right. We will also be updating the links. Many of the current ones will get dumped; and we will be adding a ton of new ones (many non-sports related). And look for more pix, too.

OK. Back to work.

We say, Ampipe. You say, Bulldogs.

Mo Speights goes off for 24 points!

Since leaving Florida in April, Marreese Speights has gotten a haircut and lost about 20 pounds. Check out this video from the 76ers-Wizards game. Who knew MO16 could stick 20 foot jumpers?!? And with his weight loss, he is even more explosive around the rim. We said it last week: this guy will crack Philly's top eight next season.

MO16 in Vegas Summer League!

Friday Links...

Bill Conlin: The Phillies did not give up much to get Joe Blanton!

And Blanton will pitch Tuesday against the Mets!

Samuel Dalembert tells why he was kicked off Canadian National Team!

Stripper talks about A-Rod and Madonna!

The Wall Street Journal looks at the "decline of the National League"!

The White Shadow

The CRUMBLING of the Celtics begins!

Don't worry Celtics fans! Danny Ainge's plan to replace James Posey is to sign Darius Miles!

Old School...

Bad Jesse Jackson! Bad!

Pat the Bat!

This three run dinger gave the Phillies a 6-3 win

and kept them in 1st place at the All-Star break.

We turn one today...

It was a year ago today, July 13, 2007, that we began blogging. The first entry wasn't much: four sentences and two pictures -- chicken wings and rib eye steaks (both uncooked). Getting a little nostalgic and longing to go back to that day? Click here!

Today marks the 425th posting on The Pit Master. That's an average of 1.16 postings per day. Doesn't sound like much, but for the first few months, we only posted every few days, or so. Now, we are on a streak of 268 consecutive days with at least one blog entry. That dates all the way back to September 19! In one year, we amassed 11,255 hits. That's an average of 30.8 hits a day. Nothing monumental, mind you. But 31 is better than three.

Some quickies:

1. Of course we compare our blogs to other ones out there. Honestly, ours is average. Better than some, for sure. And certainly inferior to many. What we have learned is that for almost any topic there is someone out there with a blog about it. Pick a topic, any topic. Add the word blog after it and then Google it. There's a great chance you have lots options on which to click. Some are really good. And many (many!) others are just crap.

2. We often think about doing a spin-off blog. The possibilities are endless:

adameatonsucks.blogger.com

wearereallylazy.blogger.com

howtodealwithbeing40.blogger.com

coaching12differentyouthteams.blogger.com

adameatonREALLYsucks.blogger.com

3. On a (perhaps) more serious note, there are some things we would like to add to this site. Podcasting would be cool. And we are still hopeful that we will one day be able to get our Flickr photo album to run on the site. We'd also like to do some e-mail interviews with people that have really good blogs. Why e-mail? Because we are too tired and lazy to bother with the phone.

4. Finally, this space originated as a food-only blog. We'd like to add some new meals to the site.


OK...well, thanks for reading today, as well as the past year. Stay safe!

Today is a video free zone!

Well, after a week of little -- ok -- no writing, we are back. When we last left off, it was a post July 4th recap. Then, two major things happened this past week. We ran our annual basketball camp (and will again next week) and a team called the Philadelphia 76ers signed a player named Elton Brand. Unfortunately, the first event precluded us from commenting on the second. Spending six hours in a gym coaching kids isn't hard work, but it is tiring. So it was just too easy to post a few videos and tread water during the week. (Quint: "But it's not gonna be pleasant. I value my neck a lot more than 3,000 bucks, Chief. I'll find him for three. But I'll catch him and kill him for 10.")

So, on the eve of our one year anniversary, here are some things to ponder:

1. Elton Brand moves the 76ers into the third spot in the NBA East! A starting five of EB42, Thaddeus Young, Samuel Dalembert, Andre Iguodala and Andre Miller won't best the Celtics or (most likely) even the Pistons. But it sure moves them past the Cavaliers (um, tell us again who LeBron gets to pass to?!? Oh, wait, it's, Ben Wallace!) and Orlando Magic. And if they can somehow (In Ed We Trust!) land a shooter, than you can book them for the conference finals against KG and the Celtics.

2. More good Sixers' stuff! Young, who will be an NBA sophomore next season, and the just-drafted Marreese Speights dominated the opening night of the NBA Summer League yesterday. Young had 27 points and 6 rebounds, while Speights had 22 and 13. We have no doubts that Speights will be a major contributor off Mo Cheeks' bench next season. Most "experts" think he will serve a one year apprentice. It says here that by Christmas, he will be the first big man off the bench -- getting 10 & 5 per game.

3. Maybe they really do need Quint on Amity Island! No sooner did we post the You Tube video of Quint ("I'll catch this bird for ya. But it's not gonna be easy.") then there was a Great White sighting off South Beach in Martha's Vineyard -- the same place where the movie Jaws was filmed in 1975. Lifeguards and a private tour plane pilot reported seeing a shark close to 15 feet in size on Thursday. Of course, a day later some idiot reported seeing two sharks over 20 feet in size. However, police quickly determined he was fabricating the sighting.

4. Stupidity is not limited to wealthy New England shore towns! Some ay-hole named James W. Conradt created a hoax detailing how two Oklahoma quarterbacks (All-American Sam Bradford and freshman Landry Jones, the top rated prep QB last season) had been arrested for selling cocaine. (Feel free to insert any type of Charles Thompson punchline here.) Conradt is a Nebraska fan, who actually works for the University of Texas (or texASS as we on the OU message boards so affectionately call the Bonghorns). Using advance techie skills, he was able to duplicate the template of The Oklahoman web page. He then created the bogus article and went to multiple message boards and posted a link to the phony article. At least two Texas radio stations reported the story as being true. Jones' father said he plans on suing Conradt. Click here to read the whole story.

More Elton Brand

Elton Brand on ESPN

Y'all know me. Know how I earn a livin'.

Elton Brand and the greatest general manager EVER -- Ed Stefanski!

***Elton Brand press conference in Philadelphia!***

Also:

Henry Abbott of ESPN's True Hoop now loves Ed Stefanski. (Long after we did, however!)

Charley Rosen, FoxSports.com: "Brand figures to transform the Sixers into a legitimate challenger to Boston's supremacy."

Los Angeles Daily News: "It clearly wasn't the money, because (the Clippers) came very close to what Philly offered."

Tim Kawakami (former Philly writer now in LA): Does Baron Davis NOW regret signing with the Clippers?!?

Elton Brand to sign with 76ers?!?

Could it be? Really?!? Wow! Double Wow!!

This is not your father's 90210...

Um...not sure if this will pan out -- but it will certainly get our attention in the fall. Heck, they can always bring back Dylan, right?!?

Open-face steak sandwich

Rib eye steak. Melted Provolone. Italian bread with EVOO, grilled for two minutes.

The perfect 60 second break

How great is this?!?

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Great picture captured at yesterday's Phillies game by Mark V. Krajnak.

Fourth of July: BBQ, Friends, Blackberry & a Phillies Win

It was a typical Fourth of July Barbecue at the neighbors' house. (Actually, it was a cookout, but when it comes to July 4th, everyone bills it a BBQ.) Hot dogs, hamburgers, shrimp, chicken, cold irons for the adults, cold juice boxes for the little ones. Kids swimming. Grownups talking. Around 9 P.M., someone brought out fireworks. Nothing too heavy, mind you, but on The Fourth even sparklers cause a splash.

So everyone gathered on or around the deck to ooh and ahh the show.

Everyone, but us. We slinked off to a shadowy corner, Lite in hand, and created our own bright glare -- that of the trusty Blackberry. Phillies and Mets. All tied at two in the bottom of the ninth. We had been casually checking for updates throughout the party. It was a big game, to be sure. The Phillies always play at home on July 4th. Their post game fireworks display is widely heralded as the best in baseball. And, of course, they, we, everyone hates the Mets. (Even former Met Keith Hernandez, it would seem.) To raise the stakes even higher, Mets' ace Johan Santana was pitching the opening set of the four game series. The Phillies, on the other hand, countered with someone named J.A. Happ. (Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Anyone?)

By the time the Blackberry fired up the gamecast, it was 2-2 in the bottom of the ninth and the Phillies had a runner on second with two outs. Shane Victorino was up against Duaner Sanchez. Foul boul, strike one. Ball one. Foul ball, strike two. Sensing extra innings, we began to plot our return to the party. (Making a stop in the garage for a fresh iron seemed like the logical excuse for our absence.) Walking to the garage, we looked at the Blackberry. WOO-WOO! Victorino doubled in the winning run. The Phillies had defeated the Mets on the Fourth of July!

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Below are the 2007 Fourth of July Fireworks at Citizens Bank Park:

Josh Smith's Philadelphia Tour

Gotta be honest. Until Baron Davis bailed on Golden State and hooked up with the LA Clippers, I was confident Josh Smith would be a 76er. Now, the fact that the Warriors are almost $18 million under the cap makes them Major League Players in the free agent market. They are hoping to sign Elton Brand, but it now looks as though Brand will go back to the Clippers. Published reports have the Warriors infatuated with Corey Maggette, but they will almost certainly have an interest in Josh Smith. And let's be honest, if Smith wanted a winner, he'd be talking to the upper echelon teams. Teams that can only offer him around "5 mill per." Clearly, he is looking for big money. (Big Money!) And now, that means the Golden State Warriors.

Happy Fourth of July!

Josh Smith can dunk and block a few shots...

Have you heard the one about the Penn State football player?!?

The Penn State football program has seen numerous arrests in recent months. Our uncle is a Penn State alum. Though it pains him to watch his once pristine program go down the sewer, he did pass this along to us:

(1) Instead of 'Go State' we now say 'Paroooooooooooooooooooooole State'!!

(2) A lady in Boalsburg calls 911. Hysterically, she says, 'Someone's just broken into my
house and I think he's going to rob me!'
The police officer says, 'We're really busy at the moment. Just
get the guy's jersey number and we'll get back to you.'

(3) Question: What is Joe Paterno's biggest concern?

Answer: Does the NCAA count bail money as a recruiting violation?

(4) Question: What do you call a drug ring in State College?
Answer: A huddle.

(5) Question: There are four Penn State players in a car. Who's driving?

Answer: The police.

(6) Question: Why can't most of the Penn State players get into a huddle on the field?

Answer: It is a parole violation to associate with known felons.

(7) The Penn State team has adopted a new Honor System.
'Yes, your Honor, No, your Honor.'

(8) The Penn State team is expecting a 7-6 season this year.
7 Arrests & 6 convictions.

(9) Question: How will the Penn State team spend the first week of Fall Practice?

Answer: Studying their Miranda Rights.

Fast Eddie Swoops into Action...

Well, after lusting for Elton Brand all winter, we actually started to look at his situation logically last night, once it was made known that he would be opting out of his contract with the LA Clippers. The 6'9" power (power!) forward walked away from the final year of his contract -- thus turning his back on $16 million. So, one of four things are at work here:

1. Brand figures he can get a max contract from the Clippers -- in the neighborhood of $20 million per year.

2. Brand wants to come back to the East Coast (he's from Peekskill, NY).

3. Brand wants to play for a winner. Having spent his entire NBA career with the Bulls and Clippers, he has made the playoffs just once in 10 years (with the 2005-06 Clippers).

4. Brand wants some type of combination of numbers two and three.

If it's pure money he's after, Brand and the Clippers will come to an agreement. As for options 2-4, there aren't a lot of teams who can fill the bill. The 76ers and Brand have been flirting (unofficially, of course) for months. There's a report in today's Los Angeles Times that basically says it is a two team race: The Clips and the Sixers. The problem with Philly is, they can "only" offer Brand around 12 mill per year. It is doubtful he will take that much of a discount to come back east. However, a sign and trade is another option. Like Brand, teammate Corey Maggette also opted out of his Clippers' contract yesterday. If Maggette walks, the Clippers would at least think about a sign and trade with Brand and Andre Iguodala.

Now, there are also rumors that the Miami Heat will make a play for Brand. Would Pat Riley be willing to move the-just-drafted Michael Beasley (and other salaries) for Brand?

Ultimately, unless Philly lets Iguodala walk for free (thus freeing up more coin for Brand) or they can get the Clippers to bite a sign and trade, we just don't see Elton Brand ending up with Your Our Philadelphia 76ers. Instead, it looks like Ed Stefanski has moved Atlanta Hawks ultra-athletic-forward Josh Smith to the top of his checklist. Today's Atlanta Journal Constitution reports that Smitty will most likely be in Philadelphia tomorrow morning.

Smith is a fascinating player. He is 6'9", 210. He averaged 17 points, 8 rebounds, 3 assists and nearly 3 blocks (2.8) last season. Is he the low post forward the Sixers so desperately need? Not really. He's kind of like KG in the sense that he can go on the blocks and score -- he just doesn't like doing it on a consistent basis. Is he the 3-point shooter Philly (also) so desperately needs? Um, no. Not when you consider he hit just 25 percent of his treys last year (and 16 percent in the playoffs).

So, what would Fast Eddie be getting in Josh Smith? A good power (kind of) forward who can run, dunk, block shots and be a steady (as in: not great) rebounder. Plus, he is just 23 years old! A crew of Smith, Iguodala, Samuel Dalembert and Thaddeus Young -- directed by floor general Andre Miller would be the most athletic unit in the league, bar none (bar none!). Adding Smith will get the 76ers to 50 wins next season and a four seed in the playoffs. (Of course, once the playoffs come, the team's lack of outside shooting will doom them -- but, alas we digress.)

This whole premise is, of course, contingent upon the Hawks not matching an offer by the 76ers. However, the consensus is that if (when?!?) Stefanski comes hard with 12 mill, the Hawks will not match. Our guess is this thing will be over by July 4th -- when we will be eating burgers and 'dogs, celebrating the 76ers' new power forward.