Memorial Day

1. Humped the elliptical for an extra 10 minutes this morning -- trying to recover from the fact that we have eaten a lot of (good) food the last three days.

2. Burned a few more carbs playing doubles tennis with The Family for an hour on the local courts. Guys versus Girls. Guys won. (Duh...)

3. Breakfast on the deck after tennis. Pancakes for everyone. Just coffee for us.

4. A pork shoulder went into the oven at 10 this morning. We will pull it at 4 and try not to eat the whole damn thing in 60 seconds.

As we told the Phillies after our win Saturday morning: Spend at least two minutes today thinking about why you don't have to go to school or work. Remember the importance of the day. And honor it. Then go have your fun.

Roy Halladay's perfect game...

It's good to be The Mayor...

Because you get stuff...SWAG. Like PRIMO tix. Today, we are off to The Fens to watch the Red Sox and Royals. We will be in the old 406 Club. If it gets too hot, we will just walk 10 steps and enter the Member's Only air conditioned tavern to cool off. Thanks, Robert. And yes, The Playmaker will be wearing his authentic Roy Halladay Phillies jersey. Just to intimidate people. Classic.

Phillies win! Phillies win! Phillies win!

Your Phillies took the field this morning on Memorial Day Saturday. We sprinted out to early leads of 4-0 and 7-2. Heading into the fifth inning, the lead was down to 9-8. With The Playmaker taking charge behind the plate, we turned in a 1-2-3 inning on defense. We also shut down the Astros in the last inning, getting the final out on a force out at second base. For the season, we are now 4-4. The Playmaker went 1-3, with an RBI single to center.

Quin-ton is in...let the fun begin...

Just finished cutting the lawn. Three racks of ribs have been on the grill since 2:45. (We will pull them at 6:45.) And we cleaned and shined the deck. Oh, yeah -- we've got money in our pocket. Happy Memorial Day Weekend.

Question for the day...

Q: Who sucks at coaching hitters?!?

A: Milt Thompson

(Duh...)

Weight and see...

We busted our ass this week, yet somehow ended up losing just one-half pound. Hmm. Not quite sure how that is possible. Still a half lost is better than a half gained. We are now down 14 pounds. Our goal is to erase 26 more by the end of summer.

Best we can do...

Doug Collins

Philadelphia 76ers

Our kids are better than yours...

The Playmaker's Sister notched her first goal of the season yesterday in a 7-4 win. She scooped up an errant pass in front of the net and scored from about six feet away. Her team is now 6-1. Unfortunately we did not see the goal (but The Wife did), as we were coaching The Playmaker and Your Phillies. The Phillies lost 12-9, but played very well. The Playmaker was 2-3, including a bases loaded 2 RBI double. On defense, he was flawless and even caught a line drive at first base and doubled off the runner.

A verbal punch to the face...

Your Phillies dropped their second game in a row Friday night, losing 7-4, to even our record at 3-3. It was a lackluster effort accompanied by very (very!) sloppy defense. After yet another error filled inning, the manager watched half his team walk off the field on the way to the bench.

It was then that we went all Dallas Green on the 8-year olds.

"We are here to do TWO things! To have fun and try as hard as we can! I don't see many people having fun and half of you are walking around like you lost your best friend! If you're not having fun, if you're not willing to try as hard as you can...THEN DON'T COME ANYMORE! Maybe you can go play soccer or lacrosse or something!"

(The Playmaker, one of four kids who hustled from start to finish, was 2-3 with 1 RBI.)

Werth goes long...

The big four-two

Celebrating The Wife's birthday tonight.

Three & out...

1. How loaded was Doug Gottlieb yesterday?!? We caught him on SportsCenter previewing the top five picks in the NBA Draft. While 99.99 percent of the world realizes the 76ers will take Ohio State stud Evan Turner, Gottlieb contends Philly will actually take Syracuse swingman Wes Johnson. We love Gottlieb for his knowledge and willingness to speak the truth. But there is no way (No Way!) the Sixers are passing on Johnson. (Note: Don't you just love the picture of Hannah Storm's ass and legs Gottlieb?!?)

2. Doug Collins will be a major asset to the aforementioned Sixers! He comes with Michael Jordan's personal stamp of approval. That means he will be a hard ass and stop the lazy ways of Iguodola and Dalembert ... if not, he will simply trade them. Either option will help the team back to the playoffs.

3. This will not sway us to (finally) get an iPhone this summer, but it's still kind of cool! Good stuff, indeed! Who needs a wallet to go shopping?!?

Four on the floor...

1. It's inevitable -- the Celtics are going to the NBA Finals! We've known this since game 5 of the LeBron series. Even worse, there's a 70 percent chance they will win the finals (against the Lakers). It just further proves the NBA season is a total joke. Two of the Big Three (foul-mouthed phony KG and the formerly fat Pee Pee) mailed in their effort over the 82 game slate. The other one (Ray Allen) tried hard, but does not have the legs for a full season. And the way Rondo is playing, it is now a Big Four. Sheeet...this sucks.

2. Two is > One! Unbelievable last night as the 76ers shot up from the 6th spot in the lotto all the way up to number two. And this is not shades of 1993 when the Sixers had the second pick and had to reach for Shawn Bradley as C-Webb went number one. At number two this year, the Sixers will undoubtedly take Ohio State star Evan Turner. The 6'7" junior swingman was the consensus Player of the Year last season, averaging 20 points, 9 boards and 6 assists. He will definitely be a good NBA player. Greatness will depend on his outside shot (44 percent on treys as a sophomore, only 36 percent as a junior). Hopefully, his arrival will be celebrated by the trading of overpaid (and average skilled) Andre Iguodala. One more Shawn Bradley thing: We knew it was all over when we read a scouting report on him when he came out of BYU. It said he was a "good athlete...in fact, he rides horses." Seriously, how great is that?!?

3. Your Phillies got rained out last night! That means The Playmaker's pitching debut will have to wait until Friday night. (Starting this week kids get to pitch the first three innings.) When asked if he wanted to start the game, The Playmaker replied, "I want to be like Contreras and close." We damn near wept tears of joy.

4. What the hell is going on with Friday Night Lights?!? It has always been Our Favorite Show. And we realize that kids can't "stay" in high school forever. But here's a thought: When starting a show about HS kids, make 'em all sophomores! That way you get 'em for (at least) three years. How hard is that to figure out?!? This season's new characters seem weak. And why do they not show more revealing shots of Coach Taylor's wife Tami?!? Y-U-M-M-Y. Anyway, for the past three seasons we were convinced after a few shows that 24 was going to be terrible. Of course, it always ended up being great. We can only hope for the same from FNL.

Simply wonderful...

Last night's dinner...

Chicken thighs on the grill.

Sluggish...

Undoubtedly feeling the effects of their third game in five days, Your Phillies lost today, 14-10. The Playmaker was 1-3 with 2 RBIs (a bases loaded single to right center field). Proving he is human, he came up with the bases loaded in the fifth inning and popped up to third base. His father/manager is now ready to man the grill with a cold iron in hand.

We ride tonight! We rode last night!

Your Phillies won their third game in a row last night, 14-12. Our record is now a surprising 3-1. (Remember, we are the 1977 Toronto Blue Jays.)

The Playmaker led the way on...wait for it...defense. At first base, he had one inning where he recorded all three outs (pop up, ground ball, ground ball) in a 5 pitch 1-2-3 inning. As catcher, he caught a crucial force out play in the fifth inning to preserve our lead. (And yes, he did "Go Ruiz" again and whip off his mask.) Finally, as center fielder, he gunned down a fool, errrrrrrr, runner trying to stretch a single into a double.

On offense, he was 2-3 (a pair of singles) with 2 RBIs. For the season, he is batting .666 (10-15) with 9 RBIs.

Our West Coast Road Trip (4 games in 7 days) continues tomorrow.

TGIF...

The needs of many out-weigh the needs of one...

Keepin' it real...

Nothing like a good ass-whooping to put everyone in a good great mood! Good gawd, man, last night was like the good ole days of flag football and basketball when we rolled up on teams and dropped half a hundred on them and left with yet another W.

Philles 15 Braves 10.

Of course, we would be remiss if we did not point out The Playmaker's evening. He went a nifty 3-3 at the plate. His two singles and one double were good for ... wait for it ... 4 (four!) RBIs. (For the season he is 8-12 from the plate, a .666 batting average, and 7 RBIs.) His double was a 2-out bases loaded fly ball to deep left field that drove in two runs. On defense, he converted all of his opportunities at first base. He played one inning on the pitcher's mound and ended the inning by scopping up a ground ball and running in to step on home plate for the force out when the catcher was not paying attention. He also played catcher for an inning and just missed a tag out at home. (On the play, he whipped off his helmet/mask and hurled it over his head. After the game he told us he "did it just like [Carlos] Ruiz!" Classic.)

As one of our coaches put it, "We score runs using smoke and mirrors." Translation: The Playmaker is the only who consistently drives the ball to the outfield. We make up for it with smart and aggressive base running.

The Phillies are now 2-1 on the season.

Game night...

First game in 10 days. We'll see how it goes.

Best we can do...

A telling comment?!?

Jayson Werth is the Phillies' best player right now. He's hitting .349 with 7 homers and 26 RBIs. As everyone around Philly knows, Werth is in the last year of his contract. Over the winter most felt it was a foregone conclusion that the Phillies would not be able to afford keeping him. Last month, however, both sides said all the right things and the pendulum switched as peeps felt that somehow the two sides would bang out an agreement. Yesterday Werth made a seemingly innocent remark. Yet, in our minds it spoke volumes. After helping the Phillies beat the Braves, he was asked yet again about free agency. "This is a business. I've played my whole career for this season right here. I plan to see it through."

Translation?!? There is no way I am skipping my free agency tour next winter. I will go where the money takes me.

Who can blame him?!? He has a World Series ring. And he saw the Cardinals give Matt Holiday $120 million last winter.

And most likely Werth will be playing right field for a different team next year.

Nothing says Happy Mother's Day like...

Planning for Father's Day with the kids!

You cannot be serious...

Unbelieavable...

Are you frigging kidding?!?

This is not cool! And we cannot dig it!

(And it puts us that much closer to pulling the trigger on a Droid Incredible this summer!)

Four on the floor...

1. Louisville sophomore center Samardo Samuels has apparently decided to keep his name in the NBA Draft! Now that we have stopped laughing, we actually feel badly for the kid. He is barely 6'9" and has a vertical leap of no more than six inches. Seriously. His hands are terrible. He didn't lead his team in rebounding. And he has no go-to move on offense. His only strength is that he is a good foul shooter. There is no way he will even get drafted in June. We can only guess that his lifetime dream is to play ball overseas. Nice.

2. Danny Ainge is a douche bag! Throwing a towel when rookie J.J. Hickson was shooting a foul shot was something a high school kid would do. Not an NBA team president. It makes us long for the days when Sedale Threatt beat the sheeet out of Ainge when the 76ers kicked the crap out of the Celtics yet again back in the day. Perhaps someone should remind #44 that the only reason he is still employed is because his BFF Kevin McHale handed him the title by giving him Kevin Garnett.

3. Update on Christmas in July May! One of the things we ordered was a Kevin Kolb #4 jersey for The Playmaker. Something tells us we will have a hard time keeping that under wraps until Christmas. It's better than 50-50 it will probably be recast as a back to school present at the end of the summer.

4. People keep asking why the Phillies have not yet begun to run away with the National League East! Hello?!? Are you aware that half their team is injured?!? Jimmy Rollins has missed most of the season. So have pitchers J.A. Happ, J.C. Romero and Buster Blanton. Once everyone comes back, they will dominate. No doubt. And we told you Jose Contreras was a HUGE signing over the winter. The guy was hitting 95 on the gun in the 9th inning against the Cardinals last night.

Christmas in July May...

Just finished on-line shopping. Free shipping and 20 percent off all purchases. Will put away until December. Good stuff.

Best we can do...

Phinally...

It took what seemed like a tremendously long period of time, but Your Phillies got their first win yesterday afternoon. Battling the near 90 degree weather (1st pitch = 1 PM), the Phillies won, 7-6, to even their record at 1-1. (We lost Friday night to a superior team, 12-7.)

We made reference on Saturday to the fact that we are really the 1977 Toronto Blue Jays. We are the expansion team of the Bantam Division. Due to so many kids signing up, they had to create a 13th team -- us! On our 13 player roster, just four kids played Rookie League last year. The other 9 have either never played at all or are a year younger than everyone else in the league (due to a change in the age requirements this year).

What does that all mean?!?

Basically that every other team is far more experienced and older than we are. Undoubtedly, our 27-1-1 sparkling coaching record will take a huge hit this season. (We are now 28-2-1.) Playing 12 games this year, we will be lucky to go 6-6. With such lowered expectations, we are now free to enter every game just wanting to have fun and see the kids improve. And in the overall scheme of things, that's what coaching 8-year olds should be about.

The Playmaker is off to a good start. He is currently batting a robust .555 (5-9) with 5 RBI. He has also run into some "sheeet-ass" luck. Friday night he smoked a line drive to left field. It had triple written all over it. Unfortunately, the left fielder was standing in the perfect spot. He took one step to his right and made the catch. Yesterday, he came up with the bases loaded and hit a fly to right. We were thinking bases clearing double. Again, the ball was hit right to the left fielder. This time he didn't even have to take one step. He just stood there and caught the ball. Seriously, are you effing kidding us?!? On defense, he has settled in as the best defensive first basemen we've seen this season. He scooped two out of the dirt yesterday and caught a foul ball. (All of which prompted the Douche Bag Opposing Coach to remind us that, "players can't play the infield for more than three innings every game." Upon hearing that, we said, "Thanks for being concerned about our team.")

It's All Good.

Not sure what to call this guy -- other than a LOSER!

Either that or a liar!

Just like Bubba?!?

Wow! Here's a shock!