Saturday, June 7, 2008
Friday, June 6, 2008
Action Jackson takes aim at Fat Boy's "injury"
Vintage Phillip, going after Fat Boy Pee Pee for his disgraceful actions last night. This is from ESPN.com's Chris Sheridan:
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The drama of Pierce's comeback spurred some commentators to compare it to Willis Reed's comeback from a serious hip injury in Game 7 of the 1970 NBA Finals. Jackson, who was a teammate of Reed on that championship New York Knicks team, took issue with the Reed scenario being a valid comparison.
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"If I'm not mistaken, I think Willis Reed missed a whole half and three quarters almost of a game and literally had to have a shot, a horse shot, three or four of them in his thigh to come back out and play," Jackson said. "Paul got carried off and was back on his feet in a minute.
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"I don't know if the angels visited him … in that timeout period that he had or not, but he didn't even limp when he came back out on the floor. I don't know what was going on there. Was Oral Roberts back there in their locker room?" Jackson said, making a reference to the controversial American televangelist who preached the possibility of miracles.
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Fat Boy Pee Pee -- The Ultimate Faker
Don't say we didn't warn you. We did. Almost a month ago. We told you Paul Pierce was a Total Fraud. Great basketball player, yes. No denying that. But he is a person who always is trying to be something he's not. A Complete Phony.
Last night, in game one of the NBA Finals, it was on display for the world to see.
One minute he goes down after teammate Kendrick Perkins bumps into him. The next, he is writhing in pain on the floor. Then he is carried off the court by two scrubs named Allen and Scalabrine.
Then we see him in a wheelchair!
Less than 10 minutes (real time) later, he is back on the court hitting three pointers. Some idiot (hard to identify which one among the trio of ABC dunces) compares Pee Pee to Willis Reed!
Willis Freaking Reed?!?!?!?Are you friggin kidding me?!?
There is not a doubt in our mind that he was faking it one-hundred-percent. What a tool.
Finally, after his Medical Miracle (I can walk!), in the post game press conference, Fat Boy made reference to angels helping him out of the wheel chair and back onto the court. We can only surmise that those same angels had no interest in helping Laker star Andrew Bynum come back from a knee injury this year.
No Lie: If Pierce got traded to the
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By the way, just so you don't think hatred for Fat Boy Pee Pee is clouding our judgement, Bill Platschke agrees with us. And...So does Jeff Goodwin.
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Randoms:
*Did referee Dick Bavetta get any calls correct last night?
*Unless the Lakers do a better job on the boards, this series will be short. Very short.
*The Lakers can hang their hat on the fact they were in the game till the very end despite getting nothing from Kobe. He (as well as many of is teammates) had several shots go "half-way down" before rimming out.
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*We'll say it again: If KG stayed in the post the entire game, he would be an automatic 30 points per game player.
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Thursday, June 5, 2008
Celtics & Lakers: The view from Boston
Listening to WEEI all week, it is amazing that the Lakers even bothered to make the trip from the West Coast to battle the Celtics. Why bother? A Boston sweep is inevitable. At least according to WEEI hosts and callers. This is their logic:
1. Rajon Rondo will be able to exploit Derek Fisher. Hello? When was the last time Rondo exploited anyone when he had the ball? High school? We love to watch him shoot from the outside. It makes us think if we were a few inches taller, we, too, could play in the NBA. We guarantee we can kick Rondo's ass in a game of H-O-R-S-E. (No dunking, of course.)
2. After Kobe, the Celtics have the next three best players. KG and Pee Pee are certainly the two best players after Kobe. But Ray Allen (or given his playoff swoon, is it George McGinnis?) over Pau Gasol and/or Lamar Odom? Not so fast, my friend. (By the way, college football less than three months away!) Yes, it appears Allen is out of his shooting funk. But would you really rather him over Gasol or Odom? Playing with Kobe (who now actually passes sometimes) and his 21 shots a game, the numbers put up by "G.O." are impressive. As Hubie says, "Gasol gives you 19 points per game and Odom 14." Plus, Odom adds 10 boards and Gasol 8. Furthermore, they both average almost 4 assists. At best (at best!), it's a wash.
3. KG will abuse Odom (or Gasol) in the post. Yes, KG can hurt the Lakers in the post. The problem is, HELLO?!?, he doesn't exactly spend a lot of time down there. If Celtics' fans can find one gripe with KG, it's this: Why the hell don't you post up every time on offense? Instead, KG goes down there for a possession and then spends the next four on the perimeter.
4. Kendrick Perkins will be too physical on defense for Gasol. Kendrick Perkins? Kendrick Frigging Perkins?!? Are you kidding us? Seriously, what is easier to envision: Gasol going into a shell because Perkins is built like a truck or Gasol driving past Perkins baseline for numerous dunks? We rest our case. Those who think Perkins is the Gasol Stopper simply haven't seen the Lakers play the last three months. Or they are Drug Addicted Communists.
Now, as much as we have tried for our son's sake, we simply can't cheer for the Celtics. At least as long as Fat Boy Pee Pee is around. So we would like nothing more than to see a Laker sweep. But that, of course, ain't happening. In fact, while much of the Sporting World outside of Boston is going with the Lakers -- we are convinced the Celtics will win. Not because they are the better team (though they probably are, by the slimmest of margins), but because it will be torture for us to watch them win. In case you haven't noticed, Our Teams don't win a lot of games these days.
Celtics in six.
At least our son will be happy.
We've been placed on Injured Reserve
From getting shutout to 22 hits. From the frigging newspaper delivery man to a swig of Gatorade.
Here is our (painful) tale of hoping the scale smiles up at us!
4:50 AM -- Get up and get dressed for running. Check Internet and discover Phillies were shutout, 2-0. Check this blog and see that we had 22 hits overnight. Begin 15 minute stretching routine to get the hamstring loose. Or at least loose enough to complete the 4.8 mile run. Why are we running on a bad hammy? Because winter weight is winter weight and summer weight is summer weight. Makes sense, no?!? And Thursday mornings are The-Dreaded-Or-Beloved-Weigh-In-Day. In the span of less than three seconds the digital scale will either make or break our mood for the coming weekend. Success equals a care free weekend. Non-success equals, "Hand me a gun so we can kill ourselves."
5:10 -- Daughter's pink i-pod in tow, we exit house in Nike kicks, adidas shorts, Nike team issued UNC sweatshirt and a winter hat (bugs are bad).
5:12 -- The run begins. More like a one legged hobble. The hammy is doing a slow burn.
5:14 -- We can't shake our wife's nagging voice: "You know, if you took a day off every once in a while, your leg wouldn't hurt."
5:15 -- We contemplate life as a 40 year old single man, sans wife. Lots of TV --nothing but sports, cooking shows and The Office. Tons of spicy food.
5:19 -- The first of six laps is completed (each one is .8 of a mile). The hammy is starting to get loose.
5:23 -- We realize that we really only listen to one song over and over while running: "The Boss", by T-Pain. We first heard it while attending the Celtics-76ers game in March. The Sixers kicked Boston's ass, by the way.
5:24 -- As the rap song plays, we consider for a moment that we are a 40-year old white male living in the 'burbs.
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5:26 -- We pass someone walking a dog. We pause the music. Our secret is safe. khhhhhdsgfdsgfdsfgdsfgdsgfdsfgdsfgdsfgdsfgdsfgdsfgdsfgdsgf
5:38 -- On our fourth lap, the hammy (entire leg, really) just plain HURTS.
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5:49 -- Now on last lap of 4.8 mile jaunt. We begin to contemplate getting old. A total cliche, to be sure, but it is right on the mark: The mind is willing, but the body is not. Flashback to one of our old hoop coaches, who said: "After 40, it's all about Advil and ice."
5:55 -- We finish final lap. The problem is, the Newspaper Guy is driving toward us and we: A. Don't want him to know where we live. B. Will feel less than a man if he sees us stop. So we do something that, given our physical state, is REALLY STUPID. We strap it on for another lap.
5:56 -- Behind us someone yells, "You are a FRIGGING IDIOT!"
5:57 -- We are pretty sure that person is our wife.
6:02 -- Seven laps are done -- and so are we. The extra lap gives us 5.6 miles. All that's left is the weigh-in.
6:20 -- The scale says we are down 15 1.5 pounds. Life is good. So good.
6:21 -- Before showering, we go (with our Gatorade Weigh-in Reward) and collapse on the floor for 15 minutes of zzz.
6:36 -- We realize that was stupid thing to do, because the hammy/leg is now completely stiff. The pain we endure to get up is, no lie, excruciating!
7:05 -- Cleaned up and ready to enjoy a day at home on Injured Reserve. We head over to Dunkin' Donuts, so we can have some coffee while we wait with the kids at the bus stop.
9:00 -- Back from the bus stop and a quick trip to the market. We go to webmd.com and this is what it says for a hamstring strain: Hamstring injuries are slow to heal because of the constant stress applied to the injured tissue from walking. Complete healing can take six to 12 months. Re-injuries are common because it's hard for many guys to stay inactive for that long.
9:01 -- We realize we are soooooo screwed.
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Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Boneless pork w/ a side dish of Sciatica
Added salt and pepper on one side. Grilled on high heat (about 500 degrees) for seven minutes. Then flipped them and applied honey mustard BBQ sauce. Closed the lid and let them cook for four minutes. F-A-N-T-A-S-T-I-C. We are most likely going on the IR list tomorrow with a Chauncey Billups-esque hamstring pull/sciatica. That means tons of cooking shows on the DVR, lots of heat and ice on the hammy and -- best of all -- baby back ribs on the grill for dinner.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
David Stern is a Money Whore
Diehard Boston fans will be watching. Laker fans, due to the time change, will be watching. But you know who won't be watching? Our 6-year old, that's who. He absolutely loves playing, watching and reading basketball. And he adores the Celtics. But he won't get to watch a single minute of the series live. Not one second!
And all because Commissioner Whore Stern wants to squeeze a few more bucks out of advertisers. Seriously, would the NBA go belly-up if game two, played this Sunday, started at 6 PM instead of 9:30? That way kids, my kid, heck even adults -- could polish off at least the first half (dare we say three quarters?) before calling it a night. During this wonderful Tuesday-Thursday-Sunday Finals, there will be two (most likely) Sunday games. Games two and five, one on each team's home court. Start each one at 6. The other games can all be prime time. Will Stern have to tell his owners they will be making a few less bucks? No doubt about it. But the amount of positive P.R. it would generate would be insane. Commissioner Whore Stern would be hailed as The White Knight. Mr. Do The Right Thing. Mr. I'm All About The Kids.
Instead, David Stern will continue to be a short, fat pudgy man who will do anything for a buck. And our kid will miss out on watching (live) his Boston Celtics play for a championship.
Monday, June 2, 2008
So I tell 'em I'm a pro jock...
The accusations by Bill Murray's wife got us to thinking about Murray's movie career. Seriously, does it get any better than Stripes and Caddyshack?
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Only Fat Boy Pee Pee can get us off the couch
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Aw, man. I got to stretch this thing so it fits over my flab...
Do not disturb!
We coached three different sports today. Our son had a soccer game game at 9:15 AM. (We won, 10-4. He scored 4 goals.) Then he had a baseball game at 11. (We lost, 16-12. He was 3-3 with two RBI.) Finally, at 1 PM, our daughter had a softball game. (She won, 10-2. Even better, she got her first hit of the season. She ended up 3-3, with one RBI.)
Now that the parental bragging portion of the day, not to mention the five-plus hours of coaching, are done, we will be on the couch from now until bedtime. Do not disturb!
Friday, May 30, 2008
Goong-gahala-Gahloong-gahla...
1. News item: Bill Murray's wife says he is addicted to booze and sex. We say: So what's the problem?!? Oh, my!
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2. News item: Rip Hamilton says he will play tonight. We say: Celtics win. Oooh...my arm. I think it's broken!
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3 News item: The Ten Worst Presidents. We say: How is Jimmy Carter not on this list?!?
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4. News item: Former White House press secretary Scott McClellan has written a tell-all book about Dubya's time in office. We say: Hey, Loser! Get a life. Actually, get ready for Karl Rove to ruin your life. (Covertly, of course.)
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5. News item: Over 2,000 Philadelphians say Provolone is the cheese of choice for their cheesesteaks. We say: Give us American or Cheese Wiz! Yum.
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6. News item: Techie says your cellphone may be just as good as the Blackberry for e-mailing. We say: You don't really believe that do you? Decide for yourself.
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Thursday, May 29, 2008
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
The Guardian of Sin City
Brandon Walsh: "Hold on. What do we have here? Yes, sir, that is Vegas. Surfing stops here. We're talking about Dan Tanna. The Guardian of Sin City. The coolest of the cool. God Bless America."
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Vince Young training hard in off-season
Not nearly as funny as the Matt Leinart pix, but still worth a laugh.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Papa's got a brand new funk grill*
*Actually, we just got some new Weber replacement parts...
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First, we put in a new ignition (the silver box).
Then we wired it to the red button.
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Next, we put in new Flavorizer Bars.
Finally, two new cast iron grates.
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Saturday, May 24, 2008
Friday, May 23, 2008
It's all about hoops!
College basketball's top recruiting classes!
The decline of Arizona hoops!
Peter Vecsey: AI on the trading block?!?
Big Test for Big 3!
NBADraft.Net: Roy Hibbert falling all the way to #18?!?
Derrek Kellogg lands UConn transfer!
DC all done at Louisville!Baron Davis to Knicks?!?
Heat looking to booze for Boozer?!?
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Thursday, May 22, 2008
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Staying home today for the big 4-oh
Today is my wife's birthday, so we are both taking the day off from work. Woo-Woo!
Stuff I Want To Happen
1. Get up early and run (helps with the motor oil detox)
2. Go to Dunkin' Donuts for hazelnut coffee
3. Get the puppy up and out, while reading sports page
4. Get the kids fed, lunches made and to the bus stop
5. Watch TV
6. Cruise the Internet
7. Watch more TV
8. Repeat points 5-8
9. Repeat point 8...over and over
Stuff That Really Will Happen
1. Steps 1-4 (already done)
2. Go shopping with the birthday girl
3. Pay for a lot of stuff (none of which is for me)
4. Carry all the stuff
5. Go to lunch (and get stuck with the bill happily pay)
6. Carry shopping bags (crates?) into house
7. Watch as bags (all 33 of them) get emptied
8. Say stuff like, "Wow, that looks great!"
9. Think stuff like, "Wow, I wonder how long until I can hit the couch for 90210 reruns and cooking shows!"
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Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Birthday Shots?!?
Two quickies before we dash off:
1. The Celtics will beat the Pistons in six games. We said this the second Boston defeated the Cavs on Sunday. The Pistons are simply not that good. Yes, they have about 1,000 games of playoff experience. However, Detroit is old and lacking one true break-down player on offense. Plus, they have no bench and their coach, Flipper, is a total dolt. Why The Rest of the World does not realize this and insists on picking Detroit is beyond us.
2. Tomorrow is our wife's birthday. We have good friends of ours, whose wife's birthday is today. So we all went out to eat tonight. Somehow, someone (wasn't us!) decided it would be appropriate for all of us to do something called a "Birthday Shot". The end result? We can now say we know what it's like to taste motor oil. Ugh...
Monday, May 19, 2008
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Memo to Cavs: Next time bring some Oh!
1. The Cavaliers are downright gruesome to watch on offense. Seriously, why don't they just put four guys on one side of the floor and let LeBron play one-on-one on the other side? Otherwise, they simply can't score. How bad is it when you have to bring in Joe Smith (Joe Smith!) for an offensive lift? And really -- the only difference between Wally Szczerbiak and us is the fact that he is 6'7" and we aren't. Besides that -- it's a total wash. We, too, can launch flat footed set shots that only go in when we are the widest of wide open.
2. Time for Ben Wallace to retire. The afro is cool and all, but besides that -- what else is there? Ah...nothing. At least he used to be good on defense. Today? He guarded Kendrick Perkins -- the fifth best scoring option among Boston's starting five.
3. As we predicted, Paul Pierce, in the comforts of the Boston Garden and the hometown refs, had a big game today. Really big, in fact. However, we thoroughly enjoyed the Pee Pee's first quarter. We lost track of what was higher: the number of times he got his shot punched or the number of times he cried to the refs. (Which was ironic, because the zebras could have should have called him for traveling every time he drove to the hoop.) Also vintage Pee Pee, ever the phony, when he fell on a camera man (nothing like having Pee Pee's 280 lbs drop on you) and came up with a fake ankle injury. Replays clearly showed no damage at all to his foot or ankle. We can only guess that since he is no longer allowed to act like a tough guy and throw down gang signs (as if...), Pee Pee figures he will act tough by bouncing back from a fake ankle injury. Have another doughnut. Nice try, Pee Pee.
4. LeBron vs. Pee Pee -- Funny how LeBron took more physical abuse than anyone in the game and never once wolfed or faked an injury. Pee Pee, meanwhile, spent the whole game flopping, grimacing and faking numerous injuries. That probably explains why LeBron's toughness is universally respected throughout the league, while Pee Pee is openly disliked by nearly everyone outside of New England. (A fact, by the way, that Jackie MacMullan wrote about two years ago.)
5. How great was it to see Eddie House's son running around the baseline and then on the court during timeouts?!? Even better was when he jogged into the lockerrom with dad for halftime. We now kind of like Eddie House. (That makes House, KG and Sam I Am -- for those counting at home.)
Perhaps the dumbest column EVER
Some Loser Named Gregg Easterbrook writes on ESPN.com: "The reason Spygate keeps dragging on is because the guilty party -- New England coach Bill Belichick -- has not been punished in any meaningful way. Belichick cheated and lied, and so far has gotten away nearly scot-free. The $500,000 fine assessed against Belichick is a token sanction at his income level. The draft choice fine against the Patriots penalizes mainly the team's fans, who are not responsible for what happened. Patriots players are in effect being punished for their coaches' actions by having their reputations harmed. Suspending Belichick for at least a year would constitute a serious penalty where none has been imposed so far, and show pro football is serious about integrity."
More Pee Pee & some tasty links
Aw, man! Why don't I get the call, man? We just can't help ourselves. It is just too fun (and too easy) to make fun of Fat Boy Pee Pee. The bloated loser who calls himself The Truth must face the facts. The Truth is he has been awful this playoff series. He is barely hitting 40 percent of his shots. Only averaging 17 points per game. And has managed to average 3 turnovers a game. His numbers in game 6 Friday night? The game that could have closed out the series against the Cavs? He was 5-15 from the floor with 6 (we said SIX!) turnovers.
Of course, it is almost a mortal lock that Pierce and the Celtics will win game seven today (at home of course). But until then, we can have some more fun at the expense of the gang banger wannabe.
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As for game seven? Celts by double digits.
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The Links
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Saturday, May 17, 2008
Friday, May 16, 2008
Thursday, May 15, 2008
A little about a lot of things
Romo and Simpson all done?!?
Newscaster drops F-bomb during live telecast!
The women linked to Roger Clemens!
Man, this guy hates Bill Belichick!
The state where kids watch TV but not what they eat!
Meet Derek Kellogg on May 21!
Paul Domowitch: Arlen Specter needs to go away! Osama Obama calls female reporter "sweetie"?!?
The latest from L.A. on O.J. Mayo!
*Note: There is no article on Paul Pierce. We just wanted to post the picture and ask:
1. How did the basket not collapse with Fat Boy Pee Pee swinging on it?!?
2. How come he never does these manly things on THE ROAD?!?
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Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Monday, May 12, 2008
Good stuff...
If this doesn't get you "pumped and jacked" (© Coach Pete), you've got a problem. Or maybe you are a Communist.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Friday, May 9, 2008
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Why jump into the lottery when you can jump into a pool?!?
Seriously, how great is this? You have the National College Player of the Year announcing he is coming back for his senior season. Two weeks later, he is jumping off a frat house balcony into a pool of water. To quote Johnny Damon, "Drinking may have been involved."
Joakim Noah may have millions, but is he having more fun than Tyler Hansbrough?!?
Judgng by this picture, we are guessing the answer is NO!
Monday, May 5, 2008
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Pee Pee = A True Team Leader!
You've just fouled out of your team's most important game of the season. What do you do?
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A. Get a technical and cost your team a crucial point!
B. Sit on the floor far away from your team as it huddles around coach Doc Rivers!
C. Cast an angry, pouty stare on your face!
D. Offer words of encouragement to your teammates. Talk to ABSOLUTELY NO ONE(!) the last three minutes of the game!
Pee Pee: A True Team Leader!
Friday, May 2, 2008
Brick Chicken...
Soaking in Italian dressing, after the butcher butterflied a whole roast chicken.
Into a medium-high pan with extra virgin olive oil.
This is why it is called Brick Chicken. After 20 minutes, it went into a 350 degree oven for 35 minutes.
Finished product!Thursday, May 1, 2008
Pee-Pee is not really all that tough...
The year was 1995. We met Paul Pierce while he was playing in The Boston Shootout, which at the time was one of the best high school all-star setting in the country. Pierce, having just graduated from Inglewood (CA) High School, was the drawing card on the California entry.
After his game the first day, he was sitting in the bleachers watching another game. We walked over and introduced ourselves and gave him a copy of our publication (a mixture of college football/basketball, with a heavy dose of recruiting.) We had interviewed many prep stars over the years (Stephon Marbury, Antoine Walker and Baron Davis -- to drop three names), and Pierce was one of the nicest kids around. He willingly posed for pictures reading our publication. When we were done, he held up the publication and politely asked, "Can I keep this?"
We watched him throughout his three years at Kansas. In our basement, we proudly displayed a picture of him reading our publication. In 1998, we looked forward to him joining Our Philadelphia 76ers. Yet, with the eighth pick, the Suckers Sixers took...wait for it...Larry Hughes. The hated Celtics gobbled up Pierce two picks later.
And that was the last time we were Paul Pierce fans. He was a Celtic. We hated all Celtics. It was rather simple.
Check that. Antoine Walker was a Celtic, too. Yet, we never minded him.
What gives?
As polite and gracious as Pierce was when we met him fresh our of high school, Walker was even more of a gentleman. Just as important, Walker remained a stand up guy even after he became an NBA star. Pierce, on the other hand, went south. And went south rather quickly. As a high school graduate in 1995, he was an articulate kid, good mannered kid. By his second year in the NBA, he started speaking like a street thug. Every sentence seemed to end with, "man".
C'mon, man.
Why you talkin' that way, man?
Hey, man.
No only did his speech change. His body language changed. His facial expressions varied from sulking to looking angry and back to sulking.
He became a phony. He wanted everyone to think he was this Angry Black man. Yet, he was once a Nice Black Kid.
The irony was that while he was acting all tough, he came thisclose to getting stabbed to death in a dance club. In fact, the only thing that saved his life was the fact that he was Fonzi wearing a heavy leather jacket. During the trial, Pierce had trouble remembering who stabbed him. Most assumed he was too scared to finger the defendants. He hired body guards to protect him 24 hours a day.
He wants everyone to think he is a tough guy. Reality is he is a big baby. A big fraud. And a total loser. The "alleged" gang sign that Pee Pee wants everyone to think was the team signal for "Blood, Sweat & Tears"?!?!? Funny, that we have never seen him throw it down in an opponent's face before. So it must have just been a coincidence that he did it after Atlanta's Al Horford got in Fat Boy's Pee Pee's face?
Oh, OK.
We have no doubt Pee Pee was throwing down a gang sign. It's his personality. Not to be a gang banger, but a TOTAL FRAUD. He is as much of a gang banger as your mailman is. But he wanted everyone to know how tough he is. KG, his teammate, is ultra-tough. Yet, he does not feel the need to throw down signs announcing his toughness. Pee Pee could learn many things from Garnett. First and foremost is the fact that you show people how tough you are not by wearing a leather coat or flashing gang signs. And not by changing your dialect to sound like you are hardened by the streets. No, you simply prove your toughness by keeping your mouth shut and working hard.
KG is a man we admire and cheer. Paul Pierce is a loser.
More Pee Pee/gang sign stuff:k
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