ESPN College Football Live, 2.0

Yesterday's highlights:

1. Any time Kirk Herbstreit is on, it's a good thing. Smart, articulate, and well connected -- he is a cut above Todd Blackledge as ESPN's top analyst. (CBS' Gary Danielson is the best overall.)

2. Mark May made his College Football Live 2008 debut yesterday. He, too, is good, due to his decisive opinions. In fact, he's very good when he doesn't have Lou Holtz around to play the ever annoying (and totally phony) good cop/bad cop.

3. Splint Our Man Brent Musburger revisited Blackledge's popular game feature from last season, "Taste of the Town", in which Todd would visit one restaurant from the town in which he was broadcasting. After 60 seconds of chow-down clips, May (looking a tad heavier this season) asked Blackledge (looking a tad anorexic this season) how he stayed so thin. QB14's response? "You know the secret-- the treadmill. Workout to eat."

4. Perhaps Blackledge was in a food induced slumber (especially after Musburger had an ESPN chef bring him a heaping plate of grub), because when referring to Texas Tech coach Mike Leach, he called him Rick Leach. Last time we checked, Rick Leach was Michigan's quarterback in 1978!

5. Yesterday's helmet battle was won (correctly) by Georiga, which soundly defeated Oregon. Today's match-up is Penn State and Clemson. My six year old clicked on Clemson. I am guessing they will win in a landslide.

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6. Musburger ended the second day by stating that Clemson was his sleeper to crash the BCS Champion Game.

Stone Harbor -- That's what we're talking about!

"The Sixers have some trade bait"

So says Sports Illustrated's Chris Mannix. Specifically, he says Jason Smith is a wanted man. The second year pro had a "superb" week in Vegas, averaging 15.8 points and 8 rebounds. Read more!

20 Philly Cheesesteaks in 20 days...

ESPN College Football Live, 1.0

Well, we are rounding the corner to fall. Cooler nights? Nope. Cooler mornings? Not yet. Back to school ads? Well, there have been a few. But the real reason we know we are heading down the back stretch is that ESPN began its daily show, College Football Live, yesterday afternoon (3:30 P.M.).

The Good!

1. Our Man Splint was the Quarterback! That's right, Brent Musburger, for whom history will one day say was the greatest sports announcer of his era, was the host. He has been doing sports on television for almost 40 years. But he is at his best doing college football. Funny. Knowledgeable. Passionate. And oh-so-dramatic at all the right times.

2. Todd Blackledge! Think of him as the pigskin equivalent of Jay Bilas. No one outworks him in the preparation department. And unlike most of the token ex-player commentators, Blackledge was a damn good college QB (and an NFL first round pick). But after seeing him yesterday, it looks like all Blackledge has done this summer is go to the beach and get savagely tan. He must have forgotten to eat. He looks like one of those Kenyan dudes that always win all the marathons. Todd, stop eating lettuce and latch on to some read meat.

3. The Helmet Playoffs! OK, it's not great -- but it is kind of fun. People go to espn.com and vote for their favorite helmet. Yesterday, the people (correctly) voted Georgia's helmet in over Miami's. It says here that Michigan will emerge as the ultimate winner.

4. Cheerleaders in studio! Always a good thing. However, instead of ones from Boston College -- they should strictly go with the SEC gals. Shirley Surely the girls from BC weren't invited simply because it was a two hour bus ride?!?

The Bad!

1. Too much info on the screen! Guys, this is not the NFL Draft. With that, more info is good. No one cares about team schedules running along the left hand side of the TV screen. And must you constantly run viewer e-mails along the bottom? Nearly every e-mail was from some yahoo in Columbus, Ohio saying...wait for it...Ohio State is awesome!

2. Jesse Palmer! He's not bad, but we can't shake the thought that he is only there because he was The Bachelor and the ESPN suits want college chics tuning in.

3. Jim Tressel! Tressel was good for one thing yesterday. Putting us to sleep on a lazy and hot summer day. ZZZ

Can you say, "Flaming Idiot!"?!?

Fat Boy Pee Pee at the ESPYs

New look...New problems

Well, we have been working with a new layout for this blog for the last 72 hours. We finally decided that it was easier to go ahead and make the change and then clean it up as we go. The first problem we found is that none of the YouTube videos show up! They did earlier today -- but for now, they are gone. And that sucks. From "Jaws" and "Miami Vice" to "Eight is Enough" and "Caddyshack" -- they were/are always good for a chuckle and the proverbial jog down Memory Lane. The next problem we found is with the color schemes. Throughout the testing period (using a sample Pit Master II blog), we were able to change background colors and letter fonts at will. Once we switched the original Pit Master to the new layout, we could no longer change the colors. Ugh.

Anyway, we will continue to fiddle and diddle (© Johnny Most) until we get it just right. We will also be updating the links. Many of the current ones will get dumped; and we will be adding a ton of new ones (many non-sports related). And look for more pix, too.

OK. Back to work.

We say, Ampipe. You say, Bulldogs.

Mo Speights goes off for 24 points!

Since leaving Florida in April, Marreese Speights has gotten a haircut and lost about 20 pounds. Check out this video from the 76ers-Wizards game. Who knew MO16 could stick 20 foot jumpers?!? And with his weight loss, he is even more explosive around the rim. We said it last week: this guy will crack Philly's top eight next season.

MO16 in Vegas Summer League!

Friday Links...

Bill Conlin: The Phillies did not give up much to get Joe Blanton!

And Blanton will pitch Tuesday against the Mets!

Samuel Dalembert tells why he was kicked off Canadian National Team!

Stripper talks about A-Rod and Madonna!

The Wall Street Journal looks at the "decline of the National League"!

The White Shadow

The CRUMBLING of the Celtics begins!

Don't worry Celtics fans! Danny Ainge's plan to replace James Posey is to sign Darius Miles!

Old School...

Bad Jesse Jackson! Bad!

Pat the Bat!

This three run dinger gave the Phillies a 6-3 win

and kept them in 1st place at the All-Star break.

We turn one today...

It was a year ago today, July 13, 2007, that we began blogging. The first entry wasn't much: four sentences and two pictures -- chicken wings and rib eye steaks (both uncooked). Getting a little nostalgic and longing to go back to that day? Click here!

Today marks the 425th posting on The Pit Master. That's an average of 1.16 postings per day. Doesn't sound like much, but for the first few months, we only posted every few days, or so. Now, we are on a streak of 268 consecutive days with at least one blog entry. That dates all the way back to September 19! In one year, we amassed 11,255 hits. That's an average of 30.8 hits a day. Nothing monumental, mind you. But 31 is better than three.

Some quickies:

1. Of course we compare our blogs to other ones out there. Honestly, ours is average. Better than some, for sure. And certainly inferior to many. What we have learned is that for almost any topic there is someone out there with a blog about it. Pick a topic, any topic. Add the word blog after it and then Google it. There's a great chance you have lots options on which to click. Some are really good. And many (many!) others are just crap.

2. We often think about doing a spin-off blog. The possibilities are endless:

adameatonsucks.blogger.com

wearereallylazy.blogger.com

howtodealwithbeing40.blogger.com

coaching12differentyouthteams.blogger.com

adameatonREALLYsucks.blogger.com

3. On a (perhaps) more serious note, there are some things we would like to add to this site. Podcasting would be cool. And we are still hopeful that we will one day be able to get our Flickr photo album to run on the site. We'd also like to do some e-mail interviews with people that have really good blogs. Why e-mail? Because we are too tired and lazy to bother with the phone.

4. Finally, this space originated as a food-only blog. We'd like to add some new meals to the site.


OK...well, thanks for reading today, as well as the past year. Stay safe!

Today is a video free zone!

Well, after a week of little -- ok -- no writing, we are back. When we last left off, it was a post July 4th recap. Then, two major things happened this past week. We ran our annual basketball camp (and will again next week) and a team called the Philadelphia 76ers signed a player named Elton Brand. Unfortunately, the first event precluded us from commenting on the second. Spending six hours in a gym coaching kids isn't hard work, but it is tiring. So it was just too easy to post a few videos and tread water during the week. (Quint: "But it's not gonna be pleasant. I value my neck a lot more than 3,000 bucks, Chief. I'll find him for three. But I'll catch him and kill him for 10.")

So, on the eve of our one year anniversary, here are some things to ponder:

1. Elton Brand moves the 76ers into the third spot in the NBA East! A starting five of EB42, Thaddeus Young, Samuel Dalembert, Andre Iguodala and Andre Miller won't best the Celtics or (most likely) even the Pistons. But it sure moves them past the Cavaliers (um, tell us again who LeBron gets to pass to?!? Oh, wait, it's, Ben Wallace!) and Orlando Magic. And if they can somehow (In Ed We Trust!) land a shooter, than you can book them for the conference finals against KG and the Celtics.

2. More good Sixers' stuff! Young, who will be an NBA sophomore next season, and the just-drafted Marreese Speights dominated the opening night of the NBA Summer League yesterday. Young had 27 points and 6 rebounds, while Speights had 22 and 13. We have no doubts that Speights will be a major contributor off Mo Cheeks' bench next season. Most "experts" think he will serve a one year apprentice. It says here that by Christmas, he will be the first big man off the bench -- getting 10 & 5 per game.

3. Maybe they really do need Quint on Amity Island! No sooner did we post the You Tube video of Quint ("I'll catch this bird for ya. But it's not gonna be easy.") then there was a Great White sighting off South Beach in Martha's Vineyard -- the same place where the movie Jaws was filmed in 1975. Lifeguards and a private tour plane pilot reported seeing a shark close to 15 feet in size on Thursday. Of course, a day later some idiot reported seeing two sharks over 20 feet in size. However, police quickly determined he was fabricating the sighting.

4. Stupidity is not limited to wealthy New England shore towns! Some ay-hole named James W. Conradt created a hoax detailing how two Oklahoma quarterbacks (All-American Sam Bradford and freshman Landry Jones, the top rated prep QB last season) had been arrested for selling cocaine. (Feel free to insert any type of Charles Thompson punchline here.) Conradt is a Nebraska fan, who actually works for the University of Texas (or texASS as we on the OU message boards so affectionately call the Bonghorns). Using advance techie skills, he was able to duplicate the template of The Oklahoman web page. He then created the bogus article and went to multiple message boards and posted a link to the phony article. At least two Texas radio stations reported the story as being true. Jones' father said he plans on suing Conradt. Click here to read the whole story.

More Elton Brand

Elton Brand on ESPN

Y'all know me. Know how I earn a livin'.

Elton Brand and the greatest general manager EVER -- Ed Stefanski!

***Elton Brand press conference in Philadelphia!***

Also:

Henry Abbott of ESPN's True Hoop now loves Ed Stefanski. (Long after we did, however!)

Charley Rosen, FoxSports.com: "Brand figures to transform the Sixers into a legitimate challenger to Boston's supremacy."

Los Angeles Daily News: "It clearly wasn't the money, because (the Clippers) came very close to what Philly offered."

Tim Kawakami (former Philly writer now in LA): Does Baron Davis NOW regret signing with the Clippers?!?

Elton Brand to sign with 76ers?!?

Could it be? Really?!? Wow! Double Wow!!

This is not your father's 90210...

Um...not sure if this will pan out -- but it will certainly get our attention in the fall. Heck, they can always bring back Dylan, right?!?

Open-face steak sandwich

Rib eye steak. Melted Provolone. Italian bread with EVOO, grilled for two minutes.

The perfect 60 second break

How great is this?!?

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Great picture captured at yesterday's Phillies game by Mark V. Krajnak.

Fourth of July: BBQ, Friends, Blackberry & a Phillies Win

It was a typical Fourth of July Barbecue at the neighbors' house. (Actually, it was a cookout, but when it comes to July 4th, everyone bills it a BBQ.) Hot dogs, hamburgers, shrimp, chicken, cold irons for the adults, cold juice boxes for the little ones. Kids swimming. Grownups talking. Around 9 P.M., someone brought out fireworks. Nothing too heavy, mind you, but on The Fourth even sparklers cause a splash.

So everyone gathered on or around the deck to ooh and ahh the show.

Everyone, but us. We slinked off to a shadowy corner, Lite in hand, and created our own bright glare -- that of the trusty Blackberry. Phillies and Mets. All tied at two in the bottom of the ninth. We had been casually checking for updates throughout the party. It was a big game, to be sure. The Phillies always play at home on July 4th. Their post game fireworks display is widely heralded as the best in baseball. And, of course, they, we, everyone hates the Mets. (Even former Met Keith Hernandez, it would seem.) To raise the stakes even higher, Mets' ace Johan Santana was pitching the opening set of the four game series. The Phillies, on the other hand, countered with someone named J.A. Happ. (Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Anyone?)

By the time the Blackberry fired up the gamecast, it was 2-2 in the bottom of the ninth and the Phillies had a runner on second with two outs. Shane Victorino was up against Duaner Sanchez. Foul boul, strike one. Ball one. Foul ball, strike two. Sensing extra innings, we began to plot our return to the party. (Making a stop in the garage for a fresh iron seemed like the logical excuse for our absence.) Walking to the garage, we looked at the Blackberry. WOO-WOO! Victorino doubled in the winning run. The Phillies had defeated the Mets on the Fourth of July!

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Below are the 2007 Fourth of July Fireworks at Citizens Bank Park:

Josh Smith's Philadelphia Tour

Gotta be honest. Until Baron Davis bailed on Golden State and hooked up with the LA Clippers, I was confident Josh Smith would be a 76er. Now, the fact that the Warriors are almost $18 million under the cap makes them Major League Players in the free agent market. They are hoping to sign Elton Brand, but it now looks as though Brand will go back to the Clippers. Published reports have the Warriors infatuated with Corey Maggette, but they will almost certainly have an interest in Josh Smith. And let's be honest, if Smith wanted a winner, he'd be talking to the upper echelon teams. Teams that can only offer him around "5 mill per." Clearly, he is looking for big money. (Big Money!) And now, that means the Golden State Warriors.

Happy Fourth of July!

Josh Smith can dunk and block a few shots...

Have you heard the one about the Penn State football player?!?

The Penn State football program has seen numerous arrests in recent months. Our uncle is a Penn State alum. Though it pains him to watch his once pristine program go down the sewer, he did pass this along to us:

(1) Instead of 'Go State' we now say 'Paroooooooooooooooooooooole State'!!

(2) A lady in Boalsburg calls 911. Hysterically, she says, 'Someone's just broken into my
house and I think he's going to rob me!'
The police officer says, 'We're really busy at the moment. Just
get the guy's jersey number and we'll get back to you.'

(3) Question: What is Joe Paterno's biggest concern?

Answer: Does the NCAA count bail money as a recruiting violation?

(4) Question: What do you call a drug ring in State College?
Answer: A huddle.

(5) Question: There are four Penn State players in a car. Who's driving?

Answer: The police.

(6) Question: Why can't most of the Penn State players get into a huddle on the field?

Answer: It is a parole violation to associate with known felons.

(7) The Penn State team has adopted a new Honor System.
'Yes, your Honor, No, your Honor.'

(8) The Penn State team is expecting a 7-6 season this year.
7 Arrests & 6 convictions.

(9) Question: How will the Penn State team spend the first week of Fall Practice?

Answer: Studying their Miranda Rights.

Fast Eddie Swoops into Action...

Well, after lusting for Elton Brand all winter, we actually started to look at his situation logically last night, once it was made known that he would be opting out of his contract with the LA Clippers. The 6'9" power (power!) forward walked away from the final year of his contract -- thus turning his back on $16 million. So, one of four things are at work here:

1. Brand figures he can get a max contract from the Clippers -- in the neighborhood of $20 million per year.

2. Brand wants to come back to the East Coast (he's from Peekskill, NY).

3. Brand wants to play for a winner. Having spent his entire NBA career with the Bulls and Clippers, he has made the playoffs just once in 10 years (with the 2005-06 Clippers).

4. Brand wants some type of combination of numbers two and three.

If it's pure money he's after, Brand and the Clippers will come to an agreement. As for options 2-4, there aren't a lot of teams who can fill the bill. The 76ers and Brand have been flirting (unofficially, of course) for months. There's a report in today's Los Angeles Times that basically says it is a two team race: The Clips and the Sixers. The problem with Philly is, they can "only" offer Brand around 12 mill per year. It is doubtful he will take that much of a discount to come back east. However, a sign and trade is another option. Like Brand, teammate Corey Maggette also opted out of his Clippers' contract yesterday. If Maggette walks, the Clippers would at least think about a sign and trade with Brand and Andre Iguodala.

Now, there are also rumors that the Miami Heat will make a play for Brand. Would Pat Riley be willing to move the-just-drafted Michael Beasley (and other salaries) for Brand?

Ultimately, unless Philly lets Iguodala walk for free (thus freeing up more coin for Brand) or they can get the Clippers to bite a sign and trade, we just don't see Elton Brand ending up with Your Our Philadelphia 76ers. Instead, it looks like Ed Stefanski has moved Atlanta Hawks ultra-athletic-forward Josh Smith to the top of his checklist. Today's Atlanta Journal Constitution reports that Smitty will most likely be in Philadelphia tomorrow morning.

Smith is a fascinating player. He is 6'9", 210. He averaged 17 points, 8 rebounds, 3 assists and nearly 3 blocks (2.8) last season. Is he the low post forward the Sixers so desperately need? Not really. He's kind of like KG in the sense that he can go on the blocks and score -- he just doesn't like doing it on a consistent basis. Is he the 3-point shooter Philly (also) so desperately needs? Um, no. Not when you consider he hit just 25 percent of his treys last year (and 16 percent in the playoffs).

So, what would Fast Eddie be getting in Josh Smith? A good power (kind of) forward who can run, dunk, block shots and be a steady (as in: not great) rebounder. Plus, he is just 23 years old! A crew of Smith, Iguodala, Samuel Dalembert and Thaddeus Young -- directed by floor general Andre Miller would be the most athletic unit in the league, bar none (bar none!). Adding Smith will get the 76ers to 50 wins next season and a four seed in the playoffs. (Of course, once the playoffs come, the team's lack of outside shooting will doom them -- but, alas we digress.)

This whole premise is, of course, contingent upon the Hawks not matching an offer by the 76ers. However, the consensus is that if (when?!?) Stefanski comes hard with 12 mill, the Hawks will not match. Our guess is this thing will be over by July 4th -- when we will be eating burgers and 'dogs, celebrating the 76ers' new power forward.

Monday Morning Links

Colin Cowheard is the best personality on ESPN radio. Intelligent, witty, realistic and obnoxiously sexist -- he is the common man. He is on every day from 10 A.M. - 1 P.M. Last week, he shared his list of which five college football teams have a shot at the National Title and which five favorites don't. Click here to listen!



More Links:

Bill Conlin on why the Phillies have ZERO Latin American prospects!

Darrell Arthur blames Claritin for his drop in the NBA Draft?!?

Tomorrow, the 76ers will begin an $11 million shopping spree! (Paging Elton Brand! Paging Elton Brand!)

$850 a month for home heating oil next winter?!?

Best places to retire!

Have questions about your Stimulus Checks?!?

New Look for Wal-Mart?!?

Tea Partay

BBQ Menu for nine @ 4 P.M.

1. Hot dogs

2. Hamburgers

3. Sausages

4. Chicken wings

5. Caesar salad

6. Kielbasa

7. Potato Skins

8. Corona Light

9. Miller Chill

Friday Humidity: Three & out...

1. Watched our 6-year old's flag football camp playoff game this morning. His team lost, but he scored one touchdown and had a blast getting a chance to play center in the shotgun.

2. We are having friends over for a BBQ tomorrow. Went to the packy to pick up some bottled fluid intoxicants. No big deal, right? At least until I managed to drop a 12-pack of Corona Light bottles on the floor. Shatter! Splash! Nice. Verrrrry Nice.

3. OK. After staining the deck in the summer sauna, we are hitting the couch to watch the draft (again) with our son via the DVR.

NBA Draft Thoughts...

1. Derrick Rose v. Michael Beasley! -- This is a no-brainer. Rose will be a good player right away and a very good player by year two. His outside shot isn't the best, but his overall package is outstanding. Beasley measures 6'8" -- too short to make a living in the post. Yes, he can step out to 21 feet, but he does not handle well enough to be a small forward. SO...he projects as the proverbial tweener. He won't stink, but he won't be an All-Star, either.

2. OJ Mayo will be a STAR! -- Can you say Chauncey Billups?!? That's what we envision for OJ. He can shoot it deep, get to the hole and is willing to pass. Who cares that he's had his hand out since the 8th grade? A college star who accepted gifts?!? Oh my, stop the presses. The only thing dumber than caring about that stuff, is the number of NBA teams who came out and said those allegations won't discourage them from drafting OJ. Oh, really?!? Ya think?!? How did you guys get to be so smart?

3. We can never get enough of Jay Bilas! -- A stiff as a player at Duke, he has become the top college hoops analyst on the planet. Unlike most of the people you will here talking about the draft tonight, Bilas actually knows what the hell he is talking about. Good or bad, he is honest with his opinions.

4. Kevin Love will be get you 12 & 6 as a rookie! -- Who cares that he is not quick or fast? The kid can ball.

5. Brook Lopez in the top 10? Um, no thank you! -- Yes, he sure is tall (7'0"). Beyond that? ZZZ. He'll never be anything other than a reserve.

6. Memo to Eric Gordon: Drop 15 pounds and you can be a star! He looked like the Dough Boy of the Big Ten this year. Seriously, his body fat must be close to Fat Boy Pee Pee's. Mix in some salads and you are talking about a 20 points per night player.

7. What's up with Joe Alexander of WVU?!? -- He was a very nice player this past season. But he never seemed to dominate on a consistent level. We would love him on our team, but some people now have him going in the top seven. He's not that good.

8. And how about Anthony Randolph of LSU? -- Two months ago, teams looked at his numbers (15 & 8) as an SEC freshman and everyone drooled. Then they gave him a physical and found out that 6'11" - 225 was really 6'10" and 197 pounds. Suddenly his stock dropped to the bottom of the first round. Then he worked out for teams and people forgot about his weight and became intoxicated with his athleticism. If you can wait three years, you may have a star. But we can't shake this feeling that he will never be anything but another Stromile Swift.

9. Who will roll the dice on DeAndre Jordan?!? -- He is taller and stronger than Kendrick Perkins, with about 100 times more athleticism. So what's the problem? Well, he only played 20 minutes per game last year as a rookie for Texas A&M. He shoots foul shots at a nifty 43 percent clip. And no one is sure he really loves playing. Best case? Moses Malone. Worst case? Wait for it ... Chris Washburn!

10. Don't worry! In Ed We Trust! -- This will be new general manager Ed Stefanski's first draft with the Your Philadelphia 76ers. Most assume he is going to go Big. Randolph, Jordan, Kosta Koufos, Donte Greene, Darrell Arthur and Marresse Speights are the likely names. Whatever Ed does, we will applaud. And we'll really applaud next week when Elton Brand opts out of his contract and signs with Big Ed.

*Bonus If Bill Walker slips into round two (because of a bum knee), someone will be getting a steal!

Jersey Shore 1966

Surf & Turf

Threw down a New York Strip Steak last night with some grilled shrimp. We basted the jumbo shrimp (U14) with olive oil, salt, pepper and Adobo. Since they were already cooked, we simply put them on the grill with the lid up for 90 seconds on each side.

Brisket Burger w/Provolone

We saw a recent episode of Tyler's Ultimate where he made cheeseburgers. He used ground brisket for his burgers, something we had not heard of before. So Saturday morning we picked up some brisket and had the butcher ground it up. Yesterday, one trial burger hit the grill. We got the Webber up to about 500 degrees before we let the burger slap the grate. Six minutes later, we flipped it. Three minutes after that, we added two slices of smoked provolone and let it melt for 60 seconds. Our take? Once you go brisket, you won't go back!

Nine weeks until Sooner Magic...

Fat Boy Pee Pee: "Look, girls, I throw JUST LIKE YOU!"

Happy Friday!

Shocking! Osama Obama is a LIAR!

Peter Vecsey on Rajon Rondo!

Fourteen year old student gets suspended for giving noogies to his teacher!

Players say Derek Jeter is game's most overrated player?!?

Tom Brady's woman makes more coin than he does?!?

Numbers and the NBA Conspiracy Theory!

Six ways to avoid a heart attack!

Paul Pierce -- role model for kids!

"Look, kids, I'm smoking!"

"Look, kids, I'm flipping you off with my middle finger!"

Observations from the Celtics championship parade

1. Why did Big Baby Davis remove his shirt? Um, Glen, work out all summer, mix in a few salads, drop 30 pounds and THEN you can remove your shirt.

2. Shocking (shocking!) that Fat Boy Pee Pee carried on like a complete LOSER. Between "dancing" on the Duck Boat and smoking his cigar, he looked like a total ass. If he lived next door to us, we would egg his house nightly. By the way, nice job wearing a long sleeve shirt to camouflage your blubber. Very Nice.

3. Why was Scot Pollard even allowed in the parade? Only Richard Seymour stole more money in the past 12 months.

4. Tommy (Gun) Heinsohn looked, um, less than steady on his Duck Boat. Perhaps, he started celebrating before the celebration?!?

5. Why was Kevin McHale not part of the parade?

6. Nice touch by Boston Fairy Mayor Devil Patrick to phone in from Los Angeles. He talks like a girl. And can he name even one Celtic?!?

Here's what we have to say about the Celtics winning the NBA Championship

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Phillies 8 Red Sox 2

Cole Hamels dominated Boston.

When did Paul Pierce join the Red Sox?!?

J-Roll led off the game with a dinger.

Ryan Howard: See the ball...be the ball.

What we learned from game 5

1. Kobe Bryant is simply not the best player in the game. Great, silky-smooth athlete? Of course. Does he, at times, make things look ridiculously easy? Sure does. But Paul Pierce, and the Celtics' defense in general, have made him look average at frequent intervals. It is incredible how he has been unable to get to the basket. And it's more than just Boston's (illegal) collapsing (read:zone) defense. Even when he is single teamed in space, it has been rare the times he is able to get a clean look at the rim.

2. Has Zen Master Phil taken one hit too many on the old Native American pipe? By often going into a 1-4 set with Kobe handling the ball up top, he is begging Boston to clog the lane and force Kobe into taking jump shots. Hey, Phillip, put down the Buddhist Zen sheeeeeeeeet and get Kobe's ass in the post. At least down there he could jump over Thunder Thighs Pierce. Also, why was Chris Mihm in the game last night? Why? Why? Why? Letting Andrew Bynum play on one knee in his fancy three-piece suit would have made more sense than letting Mihm see the court. Chris Mihm?!? And it took Phillip over five games to realize that Jordan Farmar is the type of athlete to give Boston trouble on both ends of the court.

3. It pains us to say that Fat Boy Pee Pee is the best player on the court. Offensively, he has been almost unstoppable. But it has been his defense that made us a believer. When he mans up on Kobe, two-four looks downright human.

4. Vladimir Radmanovic has to be the worst defender in the history of Whore Stern's league. Seriously, Pierce went by him last night like he was playing in the driveway by himself. We are pretty sure that our six year old could get to the rim if Radmanovic was playing D on him.

4. Jeff Van Gundy is right -- James Posey is a man. True, Van Gundy's man crush on Posey last night was bordering on nauseating. But he raised a valid point. When it's time to sack up and show some stones, you want James Posey on your team and on the court. Going back to our UMass daze days, the kids from Xavier always played hard, played killer lock-down D and kept their mouths shut. That was Posey then, and that's him now. Boy, how we will delight in the fact that some team will give him HUGE bucks this summer and lure him away from Boston.

5. It was great to see Proud Dad Bill Walton with a glowing grin on his face as his boy Luke hit a runner in the lane. True father's pride (on Father's Day, no less!). But, we were really hoping to see his face on camera two minutes later after Luke fouled Pierce at midcourt in a mindless foul that gave Boston two free throws as it mounted its comeback.

6. Yet again, Kevin Garnett failed to take over offensively in a big game. It has happened so many times, all must agree that he is simply not wired correctly to be The Man on offense. Too bad, because he has the skills that would make him the one of the five best players in the history of the game.

7. We began to pack up at halftime, but The Wife insisted we stay up. (She is all about cheering for the Boston Teams.) Yes, it was fun watching Boston lose. Especially when the turning point of the game was Pee Pee, with a chance to tie with under two minutes left, got stripped by Kobe -- who then dunked LA into a four point lead. But we paid the price all day today, moving in slow motion in a chronic state of fatigue. Even worse, we will have to do it all over again tomorrow night. And the kicker is the Celtics now get to win the title in Boston. Ugh.

Father's Day Potato Skins in Four Steps

Tom Brady picks wrong receiver

Hey, Tom Brady. Tell us again why you dumped Bridget Moynahan for Gisele Bundchen?!? From what we see here, Bridget is a no-brainer!

Tim Russert, 58

Good reporter. Great man.

Game 4 -- Winner Takes All?!?

The opinion here is that whoever wins tonight's game is in control of the series. Obviously if it's the Celtics, the series will be 3-1 and, essentially, over. If the Lakers win, it will be merely tied, 2-2. But if that happens, we think LA will seize the momentum and end up in Boston with a 3-2 lead.

We expect tonight's game to be physical, confrontational and extremely close. In the end, we see Boston squeaking by the Lakers.

Random Thoughts on the NBA Finals

1. Let us get this straight: The teams had two days off in Boston between games one and two. And yet, they get one day off between games two and three? And that includes losing six hours to fly out to Los Angeles? Seriously, how stupid is that?!?

2. Guess we were wrong in questioning those who said Ray Allen is a better player than either Lamar Odom or Pau Gasol. Allen has helped out Boston (sometimes in major ways), while Gasol and Odom have been, for the most part, completely lost. We should have known better about Odom, since he has been an under-achiever since leaving -- wait for it...the University of Rhode Island. We didn't see this coming with Gasol, however. But Kendrick Perkins has bullied him on the court. And Gasol has morphed into this Dirk Nowitzki-please-don't-touch-me kind of player.

3. Hey, remember Tim Donaghy?!? By all accounts this guy is just a mess. A bad guy off the the court. A disgrace on it. But you know what? Isn't it so easy to believe his (latest) bombshell -- the one where he accused NBA execs of fixing the playoffs by getting refs to give certain players preferential treatment? (Who would have ever thought that the immortal Leon Powe would get preferential treatment?!?) One of the games in question is game six of the 2002 Conference Finals between the Lakers and Kings. Trailing three game to two, the Lakers won by four points. They were aided by shooting 15 more free throws than Sacramento. Let's face it -- was anyone going to watch the NBA Finals if the Sacramento Kings were involved? Yet, millions would certainly watch a Lakers team featuring Shaq and Kobe. Who among us has not seen his favorite team get absolutely screwed by a single ref or refs? I can guarantee that referee Steve Javie hates (hates!) Allen Iverson. If I had a drink for every time I saw Javie screw (screw!) over A.I. when he was on Our 76ers, I would be an alcoholic. (Bill Murray, anyone?!?) Is Donaghy telling the truth? NBA Lovers like David Whore Stern will tell you no, you cannot believe the word of a "convicted felon" or a "criminal" (The Commish's words). Yet, if nothing else, hasn't Donaghy taught us one thing: That not everyone in the NBA is legit and on the proverbial up and up? I can't say for sure if everything Donaghy is saying is true. But I would be willing to bet that at least some of it is accurate.

4. Wow! Fat Boy Pee Pee didn't play so well in game three, huh? We are sure that his pathetic 2-14 shooting night was due to his "injured" knee. Further proof that Fat Boy's "injured" knee is bogus? In today's Boston Globe, there are about 100 articles on last night's game. Not one makes reference to Bloated Boy's "injured" knee. Niiiiiiiiice.

New Recipe for Baby Backs

Cooked in oven for two hours at 225 degrees. Wrapped them in foil and added one cup of apple juice. Cooked for one more hour, before taking off foil and letting them cook for a fourth and final hour. Result? Very tender with just a hint of apple flavor.

Card Carrying Members of Celtics Nation

Bob Delaney -- I am a real tough guy. In the late '70s I worked as an undercover agent and infiltrated the mob. I am so cool, I wrote a book about it: My Years Infiltrating the Mob. Please go out and buy it. Then I can brag to my fellow zebras that one person actually bought my book. I still like to try and look and act like I am a mobster. And no one can mess with me. That guy, Kobe? He thinks he's all that! Well, I took care of him, didn't I? He had two fouls faster than you can say, "Wise Guy." I am the baddest man on the court. And I let everyone know it. Hey, after all, the fans come to see me, right? Did you notice the Celtics shot 38 foul shots to only 10 for the Lakers? How effing great is that?!? Let's see my boy Bavetta top that.

Kevin McHale -- I was a skinny All-Star for the Cetlics during the glory days of the 1980s. Now, I am an obese, washed-up loser of a G.M. for the Timberwolves. Two seasons ago, my team sucked and my best player, Kevin Garnett, wanted me dead. So what did I do? I traded him to my Best Bud, Danny Ainge, and my former team the Boston Celtics. What did I get in return? Well, let's see. I got a nice player in Al Jefferson. And...well, let me think here for a minute. Gosh, I really didn't get much else for KG. Well, besides a lot of crap and a few death threats from Minnesota fans. But, I'm cool with that. I will certainly never win a title here in Minnesota. And I probably will lose my job in the next year. But I hand delivered a title to Ainge and Boston. That makes me a good G.M., right?

Vladimir Radmanovic -- Most Boston fans had never heard of me a week ago. Now, they know me as the guy with the 1980s haircut and the typical beard that all the foreigners in The League wear. Oh yeah, I am also the guy who can't guard Paul Pierce for crap. It's just sooooo hard. I get in his face and he drives right by me. I back off and he sinks jumpers over me. Man, did Michael Cooper have this much trouble with Larry Bird? I swear, I guard Luke Walton everyday in practice and I shut him down! Now, if you will excuse me -- I am going to go have a smoke with my man Vlade Divac.

Leon Pow Powe -- Man, I don't know what I did to deserve this, but someone is looking out for me. Have you been watching me these first two games? All I have to do is step onto the court and they call a foul on the closest Laker. I got the ball and Phil Jackson did that cool whistle thing with his teeth. Next thing I know, they whistled Phil for a foul and gave me two shots. I walked over to Kobe and inquired as to how the Mrs. was and bam! Kobe gets called for a foul and there I am again at the stripe for two shots. Good Gawd, Man, last night I shot 13 foul shots. That was three more than LA's entire team.

Game 1: A second look

We tortured ourselves Thursday night, staying up to watch the entire game -- knowing the Celtics were going to win. We also DVR'd the game so our 6-year old son could watch it. Yesterday (after he scored seven goals in a 12-5 soccer win), we sat down and watched the game. Here are some observations:

1. Boston definitely benefited from some home cooking via the referees. Good Gawd, there was one play where P.J. Brown had the ball in the lane for six seconds. We know this, because we replayed it three times, counting out loud each time. And did Gramps Brown get flagged for the infraction? Of course not, he missed a bunny and then Leon Powe got the rebound and Old Friend Dick Bavetta somehow called a phantom push in the back on Pau Gasol. So instead of three seconds, the Celtics were gifted three points. Also, that great hustle play that KG made to save the ball from going in the back court? The one that led to Boston hitting a three-pointer? His foot was a good three (there's that frigging number again) inches over the line. Of course, the line was obscured by the championship trophy emblem. The ref who ruled "no back court"? -- yup, wait for it, Dick Bavetta.

2. Speaking of Gasol, no sooner did we say he was superior to Ray Allen, when he lived down to the Stereotypical Euro. He played like a total pussy wimp. If he can't give them something in the post (as well as get the boards), we could potentially be looking at a sweep. (Something, by the way, that would most likely cause David Stern to lose consciousness.)

3. Not to beat a dead horse fat horse, but we did not see Fat Boy Pee Pee limp even once after the angels told him to get out of the wheelchair and back into the game. Now, he says he will wait until after the finals to get an MRI on his "injured" knee. Take this one to the bank: when the series is over, Pee Pee is heading to the nearest buffet. He sure as hell ain't going to the nearest MRI.

4. Not sure why Vladimir Radmanovic starts for Team Jackson. Shouldn't power forwards average more than 3 boards a game in the regular season? If Action Jackson's guys are going to get crushed on the boards, he may as well move Lamar Odom to power forward and let sniper Sasha Vujacic play the three. We love that guy. All he wants to do is shoot the ball and bitch at the refs on D. Classic.

5. Tonight? We say the Lakers will lead for most of the game and then lose down the stretch. Celtics by 5.