Eagles call Jim Mora, Jr.

The Brothers Plumlee

Nets update...

1. We won our last game before the two week Christmas break (December 18)! We blew out some team, 30-17. It was 12-0 after one quarter and 18-1 after two. The Playmaker had 14 points, including six in the opening quarter.

2. The Nets lost last week! We played the best team we've seen all season and lost, 26-22. We were down 10 heading into the final quarter and cut it to two, but ran out of time. We sat out The Playmaker for the first two quarters, for a violation of team rules. (That would be pushing someone at recess during a "touch" football game at school.) He finished the game with 6 points, including going 2-2 from the foul line. It's pretty safe to assume the suspension cost us the game -- but we wanted him to learn a lesson. Still, it sucked, because the other coach was a Major Douchebag and kept his two best players in for 6 of the 8 quarters (completely illegal).

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3. The team rule violator was looking good! When he eventually was allowed to enter the game, The Playmaker took to the court in his new Kobes, as well as his official Nets shorts (see photo).

(S)No(w) school today!

Um, that would be our driveway after three down-and-backs yesterday. The Playmaker recorded measurements of 16, 18 & 19 inches. (That was before we got 2 more over night.)


The deck at 7 AM today.

No school yesterday (obviously). Then we got the call after dinner last night that our school was closed Thursday. About an hour later, the call came that Our Kids had no school, too. Unadulterated joy for all of us.

Second blizzard of the season...

7 P.M. last night.

7 AM this morning.

Living room window.

9 AM today.

The Joe McKnight fad continues...

The beauty of kids is they often do random acts of kindness. Unlike adults, said acts are almost always done without motive. (As opposed to someone, like, say ... US. We are the master of, Hey, we did something for you. So now you need to do something for us!) Anyway, there we were teaching yesterday afternoon. It's a Monday, so like the rest of the Working World, we're already a bit grumpy. Add in the Eagles getting evicted from the playoffs the day before and all of a sudden we are really grumpy. We forget the exact details, but it was a late morning class and they were struggling with the grammar. Grammar, by the way, that they should not have been struggling with. A student got out of his seat and approached us at the whiteboard. As he did, we must have had a pained look on our face, for he made a quick u-turn to his desk. Sure enough at the end of the class the same student came over to us again. "I have something for you." And with that, he took out a Joe McKnight football card and gave it to us. "I thought you would want it because he helped you win fantasy football."

Suddenly, our whole mood changed. And we were bitch-slapped back to reality. Most kids are good ones -- and we are so lucky to get to help them on their journey in life.

A simple cardboard card reminded us of that. And a random act of kindness.

Wow.

This sign now hangs on our classroom whiteboard

(For obviou$ rea$on$...)

The Playmaker knows all*...

* Well, he at least knew the Seahawks would beat the Saints yesterday. These are his playoff predictions that he made last week. Unfortunately, we think he'll be wrong about the Eagles. We think they'll lose, 30-17.

Tough love...

Joe "Effing" McKnight!

Through 16 weeks of two fantasy football leagues we never once watched a fantasy football show on television or the computer. And we ended up in the championship in both leagues. (We lost the Play for Pride Championship two weeks ago, 108-94. In the ultimate irony, it was our much ballyhooed 2nd round draft pick Ryan Mathews who cost us the game. Mathews had done nothing all season, except suck and get injured. We picked up his backup, Michael Tolbert, who had a nice season for us. However, in week 16 during the championship he got ... wait for it ... minus two points. Mathews ended up with 13. Get rid of Tolbert's -2 and add Mathews' 13, and we win the championship 109-108. Needless to say, Ryan Mathews will NEVER play on another fantasy team of ours again. EVER.) Anyway, back to last week's Play for Pay Championship. As we have bitched and moaned about for a month, the ESPN format calls for a two week semifinal and a two week championship. As such, unlike almost every other league, the ESPN one plays in week 17 of the NFL schedule. That would be the week 17 where the playoff teams rest their starters, and the stars of the horrible teams come up with reasons not to play.

After the opening round of the championship, we were ahead 87-71. Our three concerns heading into the final day were Tom Brady, Matt Forte and Anquan Boldin. We knew Brady was playing, but had no idea how long. Our guess was one, maybe two quarters tops. Then some idiot in the Boston Globe said he was most likely done after a single series. That, coupled with the fact Sam Bradford and the Rams were battling the mediocre Seahawks for a playoff spot, convinced us to play Bradford. The Bears had about a one percent chance to get the top seed in the NFC, so we assumed Forte would get a few early touches and then call it a day. And that posed a HUGE problem for us, as our only other running backs were the aforementioned Mike Tolbert, who was out with an injury, and Darren McFadden, who had a bad toe. As for Boldin -- we'd simply had enough of his crap this season. He was our third round pick in the draft. Going into the final game his production for the year was: 11, 3, 32, 6, ZERO, 12, 15, 2, 11, ZERO, 2, 17, 4, ZERO, 1. In his last six games, discounting his 17 point outburst, he was averaging 1.4 points (1.4!). The alternative was Percy Harvin, who gets hurt a ton, and has to play with somebody by the name of Joe Webb.

So we first needed confirmation on the Brady-Forte-McFadden issues. We checked out espn.com and noticed they had a fantasy show on TV at 11:30. When the time came, we sat in front of the television with The Playmaker. The host was Erik Kuselias, whom we love. (And not because of his alleged sexual pickup lines to ESPN co-eds.) His sidekicks were Tim Hasselbeck and some guy whose name we never saw. About 30 minutes into the show they went to some blonde hottie who said McFadden was inactive. We then ran to the computer and queued up our roster. And there we stayed for the next 90 minutes. The Playmaker turned up the TV so we could hear it in our home office. And every time they talked about wide receivers or running backs he would come in and conference with us. In hour-and-a-half leading up to kickoff, we made no fewer than seven transactions.

1. Good-bye Tolbert, hello Packer wide receiver James Jones! Jones was one of the top free agent flankers. Green Bay was fighting for the playoffs and Aaron Rodgers torched the Giants last week, including one TD to Jones.

2. Good-bye Nate Washington, hello pot smoker Ricki Williams! Ricki has done little this year, but he was HUGE for us last season. More importantly, he figured to get at least 10 points playing against the Patriot scrubs in the rain.

3. Good-bye Louis Murphy, hello Michigan Man Jason Avant! Murphy did nothing for us after we picked him up on waivers at mid-season. (There's a reason why 99 percent of the guys on the waiver wire are there.) Avant figured to get a ton of PT as the Eagles rested DeSean Jackson and Jeremy Maclin.

4. Good-bye Anthony Armstrong, hello Jerome Harrison! We don't even remember when we picked up Armstrong from the waiver wire. We seem to remember doing so when the playoffs began just to "intimidate" the three other playoff owners. Not even Andy Reid would be dumb enough to let Shady McCoy play in a meaningless game. We figured Big Red would let Harrison touch the ball 20 times and get the crap beat out of him.

5. Good-bye Ricky Williams and hello Joe McKnight! Wait a minute. Rather, wait a second, because that's about how long Williams lasted on our roster. We were not even thinking about Joe McKnight -- why would we?!? His name did not even pop up on the first page of free agent running backs. But Our Guy Erik Kuselias brought his name up early on the ESPN fantasy show. He said Shonn Greene was not playing and that L.T., too, was not playing. We quickly called his name up on espn.com, convinced that our opponent had probably beat us to the punch. Alas, he had not. So we double clicked. Quickly.

6. Good-bye Darren McFadden, hello ... wait for it ... Ricky Williams (yet again)! No sooner had we added McKnight when we got word that McFadden was officially inactive. So we exhaled and reached out for Ricky. Again.

7. Good-bye Davone Bess, hello Chris Ivory! This was a tough one, as we thought long and hard about putting Bess in our starting lineup. (He burned the Patriots the first time around this season.) But Our Guy Kuselias was really pushing this guy hard. In fact, he said of the three big running back waiver names of Joe McKnight, Jerome Harrison and Chris Ivory, he would rank Ivory as number one. Prior to that, we had never even heard of Chris Ivory. But In Kuselias We Trust.

So in a little over an hour, we had completely reshaped the roster of the team that got us to the championship in our 12 team league. It now looked like this:

QB: Tom Brady, Sam Bradford

RB: Michael Turner, Matt Forte, Jerome Harrison, Ricky Williams, Chris Ivory

WR: Mario Manningham, James Jones, Anquan Boldin, Percy Harvin, Jason Avant

TE: Vernon Davis

K: Nate Kaeding

Defense: Jets

With the decision of Bradford over Brady, (and knowing we were going with Davis, Kaeding and the Jets) our decisions revolved around running back and wide receiver. Michael Turner was a given at one running back, but we were convinced not even Lovie Smith would be dumb enough to risk using Forte. We weren't willing to gamble on Ricky, so that left us with Jerome Harrison versus The Guy We Knew Nothing About Chris Ivory. Harrison has legit talent. (He ran for 109 yards, 1 TD and 17 fantasy points in week 10.) And with Kevin Kolb as mobile as you behind the less than stellar Eagle offensive line, we figured Andy Reid would let Harrison get abused and keep Kolb healthy if, don't even think it, Mike Vick gets, gulp, injured. Still, we could not shake Our Guy Erik Kuselias rating Ivory as the TOP FREE AGENT RUNNING BACK to get on Championship Sunday. We decided to hitch our wagon to some guy named Chris Ivory.

Mario Manningham was a given at wide receiver. He was our 14th round pick(!) back in September, but he had seven games with double digit points, including the last two weeks. Then we looked at the underwhelming receivers on our roster: Anquan Boldin, Percy Harvin, Jason Avant and James Jones. Boldin sucks. Harvin was playing with Joe Webb against a pretty good Detroit defense. The ESPN guys said Avant was a good guy to go with. We kept thinking that he is average at best, plus he had the misfortune of playing with Kevin Kolb. We went with Jones because he was playing with Aaron Rodgers. With no other real options at receiver, we decided to flex Joe McKnight as our third running back.

So at 12:56, just four minutes before rosters locked, we had our lineup. Bradford at quarterback. Ivory, Turner and McKnight at running back. Manningham and Jones at wide receiver, with Davis at tight tend. Kaeding was our kicker, the Jets were the defense. We were up against the top rated team from the regular season (we were second). Their big names were Peyton Manning, Arian Foster, Vincent Jackson and David Akers. Un Fortunately, they also had stars Andre Johnson and DeSean Jackson sitting on the bench -- Johnson was injured and Jackson inactive. Their owner was no slouch, as he picked up Rashad Jennings on waivers the week before. (His 108 rushing yards and 1 score would lead to 19 fantasy points.) With a 16 point lead going into the game, the computer projected we would get outscored 18 points and, thus, lose the championship by 2 points. Knowing we had already clinched $80, we resigned ourselves to the fact we would most likely not win the championship. We told this to The Playmaker and we both agreed to "not spend one second worrying about fantasy."

At 1 PM, The Playmaker turned on the Patriots game and we watched Tom Brady, our Tom Brady, lead the Pats down the field and throw a touchdown pass. At that point, the two of us got pissed. We moved to the living room, built a fire and watched the Oklahoma-UConn Fiesta Bowl on the HD DVR. We would not watch another second of NFL action the entire rest of the day. Too damn nervous. Unbeknownst to The Playmaker, however, we would check the computer for fantasy updates every 20 minutes or so. We jumped out to an early lead, as we had three guys playing early and they had only two. Still, the projection had us losing. Michael Turner was plugging away, posting solid numbers. However, there was a major problem in New Orleans. Chris Ivory had 7 carries for 33 yards in the first quarter, but then seemed to get stuck. Nearly an hour later his numbers had not changed. (We would later learn he got injured. He finished with a woeful 3 points. Jerome Harrison, our second choice to replace Forte, would have earned us 10 points.)

And then there was Joe McKnight. Joe "Effing" McKnight! Our prediction was so spot-on. Buddy's-Son-Rex indeed was intent on running the kid into the ground until he passed out. By the end of the game he had toted the rock 32 times for 158 yards against the Bills. He brought home 16 fantasy points. Sixteen points from a kid who had not been on anyone's fantasy roster the entire season. The entire season! And he was added to ours less than an hour before the championship.

Joe "Effing" McKnight!

But he wasn't the only one helping the J-E-T-S. Their defense was knocking the sheeet out of the hapless Bills. They gave up just one TD. They came up with FOUR interceptions, THREE sacks, TWO fumble recoveries and scored ONE touchdown. All that turned into a whopping 25 fantasy points for us.

On to the 4:15 PM games. The other guy had all seven of his remaining players playing. We countered with five. Predictably, our lead shrank and shrank. Eventually we were behind. Vernon Davis scored for us. James Jones did jack sheeeeet and ended up with ZERO points. Worst of all, coaching dolt Lovie Smith was playing Matt Forte the entire game. (He would end up with 15 fantasy points -- remember his replacement, Ivory, gave us 3.) We were down by 20+ points. And weren't confident that Bradford could make up the difference on the road at Seattle in the Sunday night game. We knew we were done.

And then things got crazy. We watched OU another 30 minutes and came back to the computer. Mario Manningham had come up LARGE (yet again) and scored a TD on his way to 16 wonderful points. And Nate Kaeding was nailing field goals like he was playing for a new contract. He nailed 4 of them and threw in 3 extra points, to give us 17 points. (Repeat: A kicker got 17 points!). We got the lead back, but worried as the every dangerous Vincent Jackson was on the other squad. Potentially worse, it looked like the Colts and Titans were headed to overtime. We envisioned a Peyton Manning to Blair White overtime-winning-score. Whoever the hell Blair White is, he was playing against us along with Manning.

Away from the computer we went.

When we came back, we noted (with joy) that Adam Vinatieri had won the game for the Colts in the final seconds. (Manning ended up with 18 points; White had 5.)

As the last of the 4:15 games finished, we were cumulatively ahead by 9 points. Unless Bradford threw something like 6 picks and fumbled 4 times, we were all set. And while he did not play well (zero TDs and 1 pick), he did get us 5 points.

Week 16 Us 87 Them 71
Week 17 Us 106 Them 109

Final score: The Sons of Mike Schmidt 193 Them 180

Hello, $400!

Thank you, Erik Kuselias.

And thank you, Joe "Effing" McKnight.

Wayne Blackshear: The future of Louisville hoops

A total phony -- and a piece of sheeeet...

Ohio State Douchebag Jim Tressel

It's all about Joe McKnight...

Back to work...

Scrooge: "I will honour Christmas in my heart,

and try to keep it all the year."

(ESPN) Fantasy Football (SUCKS) ...

We spent over two hours overhauling our fantasy roster this morning. All because we are in an ESPN league that: a.) Has a two week championship format and b.) Plays through week 17.

What does that mean?!?

It means Tom Brady is of no value to us today. Same with Matt Forte.

It means on the day of the championship we added ... wait for it ... six players, three of whom we are starting.

Think about that. We are playing for the championship (and $420) and we are starting three guys who as of yesterday WERE NOT ON OUR TEAM.

Heading into today, we are ahead by 16 points. Here are the guys we are starting, who will most likely cost us the championship:

Sam Bradford, Michael Turner, Chris Ivory (new), Joe McKnight (new), Mario Manningham, James Jones (new), Vernon Davis and the Jets defense.

1-1-11

Every New Year's Day we make a short (and quick) list of resolutions for the coming 365. This year, in honor of 20 ELEVEN, we are posting 11 resolutions.

1. Save more $! This is a yearly staple.

2. Eat healthier! It's not that we are an unhealthy eater, it's just that we can improve in this department. We hope to add more fruits, veggies and servings of fish.

3. Keep the home office clean! Too often we just dump stuff on the desk and there it sits until ... well, keep reading.

4. Stay clean for the Cleaning Lady! Every other Friday she comes to clean. Which means every other Thursday we have to clean so she can clean. That often equals taking everything off our desk and putting it into a trash bag and whipping it into the trunk of the car. Ugh.

5. Keep track of the number of fires in the fireplace! Just to satisfy our own curiosity we'd like to know how many we fire up in a calendar year.

6. Summer weight! We have a summer weight goal we try to hit in time for our two week trip into The Basement. This year, we want to hit that number by June.

7. Read, don't pile! We always have a 10 inch pile of magazines waiting to be read. This year, we want to read them quickly and keep the pile under 5 inches.

8. Over/Under 100! Hoping, hoping, hoping for the over.

9. Be a better father, husband, teacher & coach! Enough said.

10. Unplug just a bit more! Less computer-slash-EVO time. Not much, just a smidge.

11. Have our family (and us) remain healthy!

Happy New Year!

Was it only a week ago?!?

The snack left for Santa!

The presents left by Santa!

26 years ago today: The day we "boarded" a future NBA All-Star

The memory is crystal clear. We were in our junior year of high school. Our Coach announced that on New Year's Eve morning we would be scrimmaging the top ranked team in the state. They had the top rated player in the state, a kid who had division one scholarship offers in basketball and football.

We showed up and, honestly, just wanted the scrimmage to end. We were more focused on New Year's Eve party plans and squeezing out a few more days of fun before Christmas vacation ended.

We held our own, probably losing by 20. But the lasting memory was getting a rebound against the other team's star player. For reasons unknown, someone else took a shot. The star point guard sprinted for the hoop looking for the offensive rebound. Good, gawd, man -- he probably had intentions of dunking home the rebound. Even though he was just 5'10", he could dunk at will. Some how, some way, the ball headed in our vicinity. Moving with heretofore unknown quickness and agility, we went and grabbed the rock just before The Star could get it. Upon securing the ball we thought of calling timeout and "asking" that the ball be saved for us after the game. Not wanting Our Coach to take said ball and punt it directly into our face, however, we quickly passed the ball to a teammate -- any teammate -- before The Star stole it from us.

We never scored in the scrimmage. But that didn't matter. We got a rebound against future first round NBA draft pick (1989) and NBA All-Star (1995) Dana Barros.

If you're going out tonight, stay safe. Rest easy that we'll be staying safe on our couch. Happy New Year!

Breaking down Christmas morning

It's already been stated here that Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve (day) are the two best days of the whole year. However, the best two hours of the year are, undoubtedly, the ones spent opening presents on Christmas morning. When we were growing up, the rule was we could not get up on 12/25 until 6 AM. Each year our brother would wake us up around 5:15 and we would go into the bathroom. He would sit on the toilet (lid down) and we would sit on the edge of the bathtub. For the next 45 minutes, he would read Christmas books to us. Santa Mouse was always our favorite.

With our own kids, the rule started out being 6 AM. Each year, however, the starting time has been pushed back -- if only by a bit. This year 6:45 was a time we all could agree upon. The tradition is Our Parents come over and watch the kids open the presents. Our Mom sits on the floor with the kids, as does The Wife. We play the role of Bill Simmons and ply Our Dad with coffee, while also manning the HD video camera.

It sounds corny, but the best part about Christmas is truly giving, not receiving. Undoubtedly, that's partly because as adults most of us buy stuff we want 12 months a year. For kids, no such luck. But there is no replacement for watching the kids' faces shine as they open their stuff.

With all that in mind, let's break down the Christmas haul.

The Wife

What she asked for: Nothing (she never does).

Good stuff she got: A North Face Jacket (on of those beautiful shiny black ones), a beefy Ann Taylor gift card.

Our favorite thing she got: A 6 month pass to the car wash, allowing her unlimited car washes.

Much needed gift: Rubber spatulas and spoons (so she will stop scratching out state of the art cooking pans the one day a week we get a night off from cooking)

The Playmaker's Sister

What she asked for: New Uggs, new cell phone, gift cards to Pink. (We have no idea what the hell Pink is. Honest.)

Good stuff she got: New Uggs, new cell phone (from Sprint, with unlimited texting. Smell ya later, Verizon), gift card to Pink, books.

Thank goodness for Aunts: Last year her aunt got her Uggs. This year she gave The Playmaker's Sister her first North Face.

Just call us Scrooge: To get her out of her Verizon contract, it cost us $175. One relative gave her a $50 bill for Christmas. We scooped the dead president right up and put it into Our Wallet.

The Pit Master/Head Ball Coach

What we asked for: Nothing. (Though we jokingly spent the Advent season "asking" for FOUR iPads.)

Our Method: We usually buy stuff for ourselves and give it to The Wife, who then tells the kids, "I bought some really good stuff for Daddy this year!"

What we bought for ourself: Official 76er shorts (to hump the treadmill), a Bobby Flay cookbook, a new All-Clad cooking pan (see above note of rubber spoons/spatulas), a Mitchell & Ness throwback Eagles hat from the Buddy Ryan era.

What we got that we didn't buy for ourself: A new belt, Phillies boxer shorts, a Phillies golf jacket, a Roy Halladay no-hitter portrait, a leaf blower and plain-ole cash.

Bonus: While getting The Wife a North Face, we also got one for ourself. No one knows it yet, however, as we don't want to break it out until January.

The Playmaker

What he asked for: A your-name Eagles throw back jersey from the Buddy Ryan era, a Mike Schmidt jersey, a Phillies lunchbox and Wii NFL Training Camp.

Good stuff he got: See above, as he got all of it. (The Wii NFL game came from, you guessed it, his aunt.)

Stuff he got that he didn't ask for: Official New Jersey Nets shorts (Never forget, we are the NETS this season!), a Michigan football jacket, a Phillies wallet, a 76ers shooting shirt, a Phillies baseball rope necklace, books.

So that's the scoop. From November through New Years is our most favorite time of the year. (Even better than our two week trip into The Basement.) Can't wait to do it again less than 11 months.

Three & out...

1. The Eagles suck! We said it Christmas day -- the Eagles are way overrated. Their defense has been piss-poor all season. And now they are missing five (five!) starters on that side of the ball. In the words of The Playmaker, "We should focus on the Patriots in the playoffs." You are right about that, boss.

2. Sports cards! Psst. Just giving you a hint of things to come.

3. Brandon Meriweather made the Pro Bowl?!? Seriously, how is that even remotely possible?!? Good, gawd, man. That clown has been routinely benched during many a game due to ... wait for it ... POOR PLAY. As if the Pro Bowl wasn't already a joke, Meriweather makes it an utter joke.

Best we can do...

The Day After Christmas Blizzard

Hard to tell due to the drifting,

but we got about 17 inches of snow.

Blizzard ... 6 P.M.

Fantasy update...

Upon further inspection, we have learned that by making the championship in our Play for Pay league, we are guaranteed $80 (not $40, as we first thought). So the winner gets $400 and the loser $80. Of course, it won't be settled until next week, as we are in the stupid ESPN league. In our Play for Pride league, The Sons of Mike Schmidt are playing for the title today. We gambled and benched Hakeem Nicks in favor of Vincent Jackson. Alas, the title will not be decided until Tuesday night when Mike Vick (our leader and QB) takes the field in Philly.

Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas yesterday. Look for our Christmas Recap later today, as we post from the fireplace while watching the Patriots (and the 2010 Blizzard).

Merry Christmas

This was on the flip-side of The Playmaker's Christmas List that he left for Santa next to the fire place last night. He wrote it on his own without anyone's knowledge. Brought moisture to our eyes.

Christmas Present #1

Another year of good health and happiness.

Christmas Eve...

"Slept in" until 5:45 this morning and then humped The Elliptical for 62 minutes before taking The Family out for our annual Christmas Eve Breakfast. Came back and set the kitchen table for tomorrow's dinner with 16 guests. Headed to our parents' house for lunch from 1-4. Once back home, we took The Dog for a walk with The Playmaker and then watched the Eagles-Giants highlights on-demand. We are now settling in for some family time in front of the Christmas Tree. Oh, and Santa's shipment of Uggs for The Playmaker's Sister arrived today. Woo! Woo! Here's to everyone having a safe and healthy Christmas Eve!

Christmas Presents 3 & 2

For the 21st consecutive year, Mr. Brady hears his family singing Christmas carols and finds the strength to remove heavy pieces of a fallen building from his body!

Phil Dunphy: Let me meet this play-ah...