220 Big Ones...

Today we won the Brent Suicide NFL Pool.  Eleven of us entered the competition before the season began.  Three people bowed out week one (with losses by the Browns and Chiefs).  Everyone survived the next three weeks.  But today seven went down hard. Five went down with the Giants.  One went down with the Texans (who had a chance to win on the final play against the Raiders).  And another lost with the ... wait for it ... COLTS.  Good gawd, man, why would anyone take the Colts at any time this season?!? 

As for us?!?  We took the Saints on the road at Carolina and squeaked out a 30-27 win.

And because of that we're $220 richer.

It's true. It's true.

FINALLY a W...

Several have noted the absence of flag football updates this year.  Some asked whether The Playmaker had made the inevitable jump to Pop Warner.  One surmised his new life as soccer goalie had taken over.

Flag football is alive for us.

After three games, the Colts are a mundane 1-1-1.  We lost our first game, 13-6.  The other team was completely STACKED with no fewer than SIX difference makers.  The Playmaker had 2 catches for about 20 yards.  The next game we were ahead 12-6 with 10 seconds to play.  You can guess the outcome.  The other team ripped off a 40 yard (length of the field) TD run at the buzzer.  (By the way, the kid stepped out of bounds at his own 20, but no one called it.)  Again The Playmaker had two catches.  This time he went for 40 yards, including one catch and run of 30 yards before getting flagged on the 3 yard line.    

Finally last night we got the first W of the fall.  And The Playmaker led the way.  He had a 40 yard TD reception on the very first play of the game.  The QB was trying to avoid the sack and threw it up for grabs.  The Playmaker went in between two defenders to make the leaping catch.  He then spun away from the duo and sprinted 35 yards down the sideline, out-running another defender to the end zone.  On our second TD, he snared the 2 point conversion.  For the game he had 3 catches (giving him a team leading 7 for the season).  On defense he had three tackles, including one for a 3 yard loss on a running attempt.

The only way we win tomorrow night is...

If Roy Halladay (and perhaps Cliff Lee coming out of the 'pen) pitches a shutout.  Otherwise, the season ends tomorrow night.

The Professor is stupid

Three things about Tony La Russa:

1. He's downright creepy looking.

2. His pants are beyond tight.

3. He thinks he's smarter than not just you, but EVERYONE.  On the planet.

4. If he could reproduce with himself, he would.  In a heartbeat.

Oh, and there's a fifth thing.  We loathe him beyond human comprehension.

That's what makes yesterday's 3-2 Phillies victory over The Professor and his  Cardinals so yummy.  Because La Russa cost his team the game.  REPEAT: La RUSSA COST HIS TEAM THE GAME!!!

Ha, Ha, Dick Weed.  You outsmarted yourself.  And in doing so, you allowed a mediocre bench player named Ben Francisco to beat you with a home run.  A home run, by the way, that was his first in four months.

What a tool La Russo is.

With Shane Victorino on second and two outs in the 7th, The Professor ordered pitcher Jaime Garcia to intentionally walk Carlos Ruiz.  Now Ruiz has delivered some big playoff hits over the years, but he was 1-11 in the series when The Professor decided it was better to put him on base.  Even worse, he allowed the lefty Garcia to pitch to the righty Francisco.  At that point Garcia looked like he was running on fumes.  But instead of bringing in righty Fernando Salas (2 innings, no hits, 2 strikeouts in game 2), The Professor let Garcia face Francisco.

And because of that, the Phillies are now up 2 games to 1.

Thanks, Professor.

Do it, Cole! Do it!

The Cole Hamels you see in the picture is the Cole Hamels we need to pitch tonight.  The guy in the World Series picture (the skinny white dude) was the best pitcher in the fall of 2008.  No one could touch him.  It wasn't even close.  Since then he's been up and down.  Hamels SUCKED in 2009.  He was good (not great) in 2010.  At times this year he was very good.  At other times (like the entire month of September) he was not so good.  The one constant this year was his knack for serving up gofer balls.  Lots of 'em.

With the series tied 1-1, and games 3 and 4 in St. Louis, tonight's tilt is easily the most important one of the year.  We don't need Cole Hamels.  We need the Cole Hamels, the 2008 playoff version.

False sense of security

Before the series began we proclaimed the Cardinals were the last of the three playoff teams we wanted the Phillies to face.  In fact, being the Pessimistic Peter that we are, we quietly predicted the Phillies would lose the series.  The late inning offensive onslaught in game 1 gave us false security.  We figured Cliff Lee would win game 2 (if only by a score of 1-0 or 2-1) and then we would surely get one more win with Hamels, Oswalt and Halladay pitching.

Ding-dong. So wrong.

If Hamels doesn't win tomorrow the series will be all but over.

Not feeling confident.

Not at all.

Oh we of little faith...

Yesterday we texted Cliff Lee was way better than Doc Halladay, who gave up a three run dinger four minutes into the game.  Moments later we typed that the offense SUCKED.

And that was after the first inning.



By the third inning we tweeted the game was over.

In the fourth we were reading Sports Illustrated while half paying attention to the game.

Then came the sixth. 

Rollins singled, but refused to steal second.  ("He sucks.  When was the last time he stole a base?  2005?")  Utley whiffed.  ("We're stuck with this guy for TWO more years?!?").  Hunter Pence ripped a single.  ("He's our only REAL hitter.")  Up stepped The Big Man.  Ryan Howard.  With the count 2-2, we announced, "Watch.  He'll strike out."   Ball three, full count.  We again said he'd strike out.  He ripped off three straight foul balls.  Before the last one, we pleaded -- "Hit a home run!"  One pitch later, that's exactly what he did.  He tomahawked a chest high change up from Kyle Loshe and sent it into the second deck in right field.

It was his first meaningful playoff hit that we could remember since 2008.  By the end of the inning, the Phillies had scored five runs.  They went on to win, 11-6.  (But not before Uncle Charlie had to kick Michael Stutes the hell off the mound and get closer Ryan Madson into the game for the final two outs.)

We knew we had it all the way.

Second win...Second shutout

The Playmaker won his soccer game today, 4-0.  For the second time this year he had a (half) shutout in goal.  Starting the game in net, he stopped all five shots in the first half.  His best one was a diving stop to his left where he barely got a finger tip on the ball to redirect it.  In the second half he played fullback. 

For the season his team is 2-2.

Losers & Boozers...

If you're going to lose, you may as well have FUN, right?!?

This is classic.  Click here.

The King...

Best we can do...

Happy birthday to the COOLEST guy around...

Michael Jack Schmidt turns 62 today.  

Patron all around!

In fantasy football if you're not making moves to improve -- someone else is.  Fresh off an 0-2 start, we unloaded no less than one third of our roster last Wednesday.  We packaged Frank Gore (our 3rd pick) and a bottle of Patron to Captain Ray for ... wait for it ... LeSean McCoy (his first pick).  We then cut Jermaine Gresham (Bengals) and picked up Buffalo's Scott Chandler.  Useless wide receivers Donald Driver and Braylon Edwards (a combined total of 9 points in the first two weeks) got kicked to the curb.  In their place came Denarious Moore (Oakland) and Jordy Nelson.

The result?  McCoy (19), Chandler (7), Moore (11) and Nelson (4) combined for 41 points.  The trash we got rid of?!?  They bogarted a whopping 7 points yesterday.

No surprise, then, that we got our first victory of the fantasy season -- 102-74.  (And we still have Tim Hightower in-play tonight.)

As is often the case, it's no so much who you draft, it's who you get after the draft.

Fire Andy Reid!

Now.

Please.

Seriously.

Looking to cut a back-room deal tonight at 8:20...

Not kidding...

Just got back from soccer practice.  Drenched.  Completely drenched.  One of these days we'll give you a soccer update.

Some day.

Things that PISS us off...

People who are late for appointments and don't call.  (If you want our business, don't be an A-hole...)

A fantasy that SUCKS...

Got a couple of e-mails asking us to list our fantasy football team.  So here we go:

1st round Aaron Rodgers
2nd round Steven Jackson (Should have taken Calvin Johnson.)
3rd round Frank Gore
4th round Percy Harvin
5th round Mario Manningham
6th round Steelers defense
7th round Mike Sims-Walker
8th round Tim Hightower
9th round Brent Celek
10th round Braylon Edwards
11th round David Akers
12th round Michael Bush (Should have taken Tony Gonzalez.)
13th round Jermaine Gresham
14th round Donald Driver

It all seemed so great immediately after the draft.  Of course, we've already waived Edwards, Bush, Gresham and Driver.  And we traded Gore for Shady McCoy.  (Thank goodness Captain Ray accepted alcohol as part of the trade offer.)

Run, Vince, run!

Another ass-kicking in fantasy football

Another Sunday, another L in NFL fantasy football.

Well, unless Mario Manningham comes up with ... wait for it ... 45 points tonight.

Ugh.

Phillies clinch (Best we can do...)

Two HUGE strikes against OU

1. We suck on the road!  Yes, we beat inferior teams on the road.  But against teams that are good to really good, we have struggled the last five years.  (Well, except for Oklahoma State.  We always beat them on the road.  Hell, we always beat them anywhere.)

2. We suck on the road at night!  We always get off to slow starts.  The defense gives up an early TD for 50+ yards.  The kind of play where people say, "National championship level defenses would never make such a Big  Boner like that."  And we dig ourselves in a hole, before coming back to make the game close. Then we fly home with the L.

And, unfortunately, that's what will happen tonight.  Florida State will sprint out to an early double digit lead.  The OU defense will play like crap in the first half.  By the fourth quarter Oklahoma will cut it to a one score deficit -- but the D will not be able to come up with the big play.

Florida State 30 Oklahoma 21.  (We simply suck on the road.  Play this game in Norman and we win by 20+.)

As such, we will DVR the game -- thus sparing us the anger of wanting to reach through the TV and punch Oklahoma defensive coordinator Brent Venables.  Instead, we will watch Ohio State-Miami (free tattoos vs. cash payments).

Enjoy the slate of games.

TGIF...

About six more of these and we'll be all set.

Hope everyone has a good weekend.

Stay safe.

Best we can do...

Nothing.  Too busy.  Crazy busy.  Seriously.

Classic: Jaws says SHEEEET on MNF

Our 2,000 post...

How bad was our fantasy football performance on Sunday?

We had the lowest point total in the league (69).

Our second leading scorer was ... wait for it ... our kicker (David Akers, 15).

We drafted the first defense in the league (Pittsburgh's) and it got us ONE POINT on Sunday.

Not to be outdone, joining the Steelers in the land of scoring ONE POINT were Percy Harvin and Brent Celek.  Note that Mike Sims-Walker is not on that list.  That's because he scored ZERO POINTS.  (Seriously, we can't make this sheeeeet up.)

We will now go throw-up.

A 50-50 fantasy

We live in a society that makes snap judgements and demands instant analysis.

So here you go: Our college football fantasy team is AWESOME!  But our NFL one SUCKS!

There you go.

Our college team rolled to its second consecutive victory, 88-75.  In a 10 team league, we one of two teams still undefeated.  Our big guns Saturday were Vick Ballard (RB, Mississippi State) with 25 points and Stephen Hill (WR Georgia Tech) with 18.  We will be making a change at quarterback.  USC's Matt Barkley gave us a pedestrian 14 points.  Russell Wilson (Wisconsin) and his 26 points sat on our bench. He will be in our lineup next Saturday against ... wait for it... mighty Northern Illinois.

As for our NFL team -- we'll save that for tomorrow.  Too depressing to get into today.

9-11-01

Nothing else matters today.  Not Michigan's comeback.  Not the the U.S. Open.  And not fantasy football.

The best of Brent...

Friday night = DALLAS

NFL Quickies: Three & out...

We'll take the Saints plus the points tonight to win outright at Green Bay.

We used to like Trent Dilfer.  Now, he's gone the way of Joe Theismann.  He thinks he knows more than anyone.  And he loves to hear himself talk.

Herm Edwards is getting dangerously close to becoming a Michael Irvin screaming jerk.  (Irvin was once a great football commentator.  Then he turned into a crazed wild man.)

Did you learn that on the streets?!?