Losers & Boozers...

If you're going to lose, you may as well have FUN, right?!?

This is classic.  Click here.

The King...

Best we can do...

Happy birthday to the COOLEST guy around...

Michael Jack Schmidt turns 62 today.  

Patron all around!

In fantasy football if you're not making moves to improve -- someone else is.  Fresh off an 0-2 start, we unloaded no less than one third of our roster last Wednesday.  We packaged Frank Gore (our 3rd pick) and a bottle of Patron to Captain Ray for ... wait for it ... LeSean McCoy (his first pick).  We then cut Jermaine Gresham (Bengals) and picked up Buffalo's Scott Chandler.  Useless wide receivers Donald Driver and Braylon Edwards (a combined total of 9 points in the first two weeks) got kicked to the curb.  In their place came Denarious Moore (Oakland) and Jordy Nelson.

The result?  McCoy (19), Chandler (7), Moore (11) and Nelson (4) combined for 41 points.  The trash we got rid of?!?  They bogarted a whopping 7 points yesterday.

No surprise, then, that we got our first victory of the fantasy season -- 102-74.  (And we still have Tim Hightower in-play tonight.)

As is often the case, it's no so much who you draft, it's who you get after the draft.

Fire Andy Reid!

Now.

Please.

Seriously.

Looking to cut a back-room deal tonight at 8:20...

Not kidding...

Just got back from soccer practice.  Drenched.  Completely drenched.  One of these days we'll give you a soccer update.

Some day.

Things that PISS us off...

People who are late for appointments and don't call.  (If you want our business, don't be an A-hole...)

A fantasy that SUCKS...

Got a couple of e-mails asking us to list our fantasy football team.  So here we go:

1st round Aaron Rodgers
2nd round Steven Jackson (Should have taken Calvin Johnson.)
3rd round Frank Gore
4th round Percy Harvin
5th round Mario Manningham
6th round Steelers defense
7th round Mike Sims-Walker
8th round Tim Hightower
9th round Brent Celek
10th round Braylon Edwards
11th round David Akers
12th round Michael Bush (Should have taken Tony Gonzalez.)
13th round Jermaine Gresham
14th round Donald Driver

It all seemed so great immediately after the draft.  Of course, we've already waived Edwards, Bush, Gresham and Driver.  And we traded Gore for Shady McCoy.  (Thank goodness Captain Ray accepted alcohol as part of the trade offer.)

Run, Vince, run!

Another ass-kicking in fantasy football

Another Sunday, another L in NFL fantasy football.

Well, unless Mario Manningham comes up with ... wait for it ... 45 points tonight.

Ugh.

Phillies clinch (Best we can do...)

Two HUGE strikes against OU

1. We suck on the road!  Yes, we beat inferior teams on the road.  But against teams that are good to really good, we have struggled the last five years.  (Well, except for Oklahoma State.  We always beat them on the road.  Hell, we always beat them anywhere.)

2. We suck on the road at night!  We always get off to slow starts.  The defense gives up an early TD for 50+ yards.  The kind of play where people say, "National championship level defenses would never make such a Big  Boner like that."  And we dig ourselves in a hole, before coming back to make the game close. Then we fly home with the L.

And, unfortunately, that's what will happen tonight.  Florida State will sprint out to an early double digit lead.  The OU defense will play like crap in the first half.  By the fourth quarter Oklahoma will cut it to a one score deficit -- but the D will not be able to come up with the big play.

Florida State 30 Oklahoma 21.  (We simply suck on the road.  Play this game in Norman and we win by 20+.)

As such, we will DVR the game -- thus sparing us the anger of wanting to reach through the TV and punch Oklahoma defensive coordinator Brent Venables.  Instead, we will watch Ohio State-Miami (free tattoos vs. cash payments).

Enjoy the slate of games.

TGIF...

About six more of these and we'll be all set.

Hope everyone has a good weekend.

Stay safe.

Best we can do...

Nothing.  Too busy.  Crazy busy.  Seriously.

Classic: Jaws says SHEEEET on MNF

Our 2,000 post...

How bad was our fantasy football performance on Sunday?

We had the lowest point total in the league (69).

Our second leading scorer was ... wait for it ... our kicker (David Akers, 15).

We drafted the first defense in the league (Pittsburgh's) and it got us ONE POINT on Sunday.

Not to be outdone, joining the Steelers in the land of scoring ONE POINT were Percy Harvin and Brent Celek.  Note that Mike Sims-Walker is not on that list.  That's because he scored ZERO POINTS.  (Seriously, we can't make this sheeeeet up.)

We will now go throw-up.

A 50-50 fantasy

We live in a society that makes snap judgements and demands instant analysis.

So here you go: Our college football fantasy team is AWESOME!  But our NFL one SUCKS!

There you go.

Our college team rolled to its second consecutive victory, 88-75.  In a 10 team league, we one of two teams still undefeated.  Our big guns Saturday were Vick Ballard (RB, Mississippi State) with 25 points and Stephen Hill (WR Georgia Tech) with 18.  We will be making a change at quarterback.  USC's Matt Barkley gave us a pedestrian 14 points.  Russell Wilson (Wisconsin) and his 26 points sat on our bench. He will be in our lineup next Saturday against ... wait for it... mighty Northern Illinois.

As for our NFL team -- we'll save that for tomorrow.  Too depressing to get into today.

9-11-01

Nothing else matters today.  Not Michigan's comeback.  Not the the U.S. Open.  And not fantasy football.

The best of Brent...

Friday night = DALLAS

NFL Quickies: Three & out...

We'll take the Saints plus the points tonight to win outright at Green Bay.

We used to like Trent Dilfer.  Now, he's gone the way of Joe Theismann.  He thinks he knows more than anyone.  And he loves to hear himself talk.

Herm Edwards is getting dangerously close to becoming a Michael Irvin screaming jerk.  (Irvin was once a great football commentator.  Then he turned into a crazed wild man.)

Did you learn that on the streets?!?

Back to work...

Somehow nine weeks have come and gone.  We started the summer by posting 90210 first day of summer videos from 20 years ago.  The Playmaker lost the baseball championship but won Best Camper at flag football camp.  His AAU team went 0-7, but he picked up invaluable experience playing against kids who were all a year older than he was.  We enjoyed a great two weeks in The Basement.  And today we sent our kids off to school.  The Playmaker's Sister wore an American Eagle sweater, Abercrombie jeans and flips.  The Playmaker went with his Nnamdi Asomugha Eagles jersey, 76er shorts and Kobe sneakers.  As for us, we're going with a Nike SPARQ Training shirt, Nike shorts and Stan Smith sneakers.  We'll be in lockdown meetings at school all day, as our students don't arrive until tomorrow.

S.I., August 31, 1987

Every Labor Day we read an old Sports Illustrated article from 8/31/87 on Oklahoma QB Jamelle Holieway.  The last two lines sum up the day -- the final one of summer.

"That said, J-Boe goes inside to start packing.  Summer's over."

Boise's win proves NOTHING...

Oh, wait.  It does prove one thing.

The Broncos 35-21 over Georgia proved they can beat crappy SEC teams.

Because that's what Georgia is.  They finished 6-7 last season (3-5 in the SEC), which included an unthinkable loss to sub .500 suck-hole Colorado. 

Colorado?!?

So liberal commies are screaming this morning, "Boise belongs!  They beat G-E-O-R-G-I-A!"

And Boise will ride that the rest of the season, as they now return to their PATHETIC schedule.  Big one next week at Toledo, followed by a terrifying road game with ... wait for it ... mighty Tulsa.

Boise State.  Yet another season of being a Total Fraud.

Britney Spears fantasy time...

Here's our college football fantasy team:

QB: Matt Barkley (USC), Stephen Garcia (local bar/South Carolina), Russell Wilson (Wisconsin)

RB: Antwon Bailey (Syracuse), Vick Ballard (Mississippi State), Montel Harris (Boston College)

WR: Ryan Broyles (Oklahoma), Kris Burd (Virginia), Alshon Jeffery (South Carolina), Kenny Stills (Oklahoma)

TE: Rhett Ellison (USC), Trey Millard (Oklahoma)

K: Rob Beard (Oregon)

Defense: Oklahoma

As of right now, we are winning , 57-44.  That, despite the fact we have played just two players (Ballard and Bailey), while our opponent has four guys in play. Hope starter Barkley comes up big, because we left Wilson's 34 points on the bench.  Oops.

The first Saturday of COLLEGE FOOTBALL...

We've all waited since January for today to finally arrive.  Here's the opening from Texas' Bitches ESPN College GameDay.  Check back all day for updates here.  And we'll be dropping Twitter Bombs at a rapid rate today.  ENJOY!

Y-A-W-N...

Been up since 4:30AM taking care of business today.  Soccer at 6PM.  Fantasy football draft at 7.

Woo! Woo! College football starts tonight!

Sitting down right now to watch Murray State at Louisville.  Will switch to UMass and Holy Cross at 8 PM.

***UPDATE*** Blogger is still having problems with its ability to host sites.  When you enter our site, you need to wait 60-90 seconds for the entire page (specifically the Real Time and Twitter updates) to load.

Hmm...

Off to soccer and then field hockey practice.  Summer?!?

Power back!!!

Came on this morning at exactly 6:19 AM.  We promptly emptied out the entire refrigerator (and freezer) because, as luck would have it, today is trash day.  Went to school to set up our room and then emptied our wallet replenishing the fridge. 

Dear National Grid: Eff you!!!

Still no power. National Grid sucks. They are destined to burn in hell.

Best we can do...

Wanted to post before we lose power.  Classic everyone now thinks the Detroit Lions are all that.  And Blogger seems to be having problems.  In the past 24 hours, the complete page to this blog has had trouble loading (specifically the sidebar -- where the Real Time and Twitter updates are).  Hopefully they will get it fixed soon.  Stay safe.

Three & out...

1. We're taking a fantasy flyer on Mike Sims-Walker!  Two years ago we got him on waivers and he came up HUGE.  Predictably, last season some schmo in our league drafted him way too high and he was a BUST.  Now playing with Sam Bradford, we will pull the trigger on him in the middle rounds.

2. Um, there are better (much better) ways to get revenge!  NBA scrub Javaris Crittenton has been charged with the murder of a 22-year old woman.  Newspaper reports state that police feel the intended target was another person who was walking next to the deceased.  Police also feel the motive was retaliation for an April robbery in which Crittenton was the victim.  Memo to Javaris: There are countless other ways to revenge on a person.  Take a baseball bat and smash the windows of their car.  Better yet, dump buckets of paint on their car or house.  Paint in GIANT letters "YOU EFFING SUCK" on their garage door.  And here's a really good one.  Go tell the police the identity of the thief.  Crittenton, infamous for his lockerrom gun fight with Gilbert Arenas, is a clear L-O-S-E-R.  And he just threw away his NBA career.

3. Di$count at Macy'$!  Lest we think the college football scandals are exclusive to the Big Time Schools, Tulsa (Tulsa!) receiver/kick returner Damaris Johnson (the NCAA's all purpose yardage record holder) got suspended yesterday.  His alleged crime?!?  His is accused of getting nearly $3,000 worth of merchandise from Macy's for ... wait for it ... $13.34.  How did that work?!?  His girlfriend worked at the cash register at Macy's.  Now that's frigging classic.

Back (as in EVACUATED) from the basement...

Yes, they evacuated the island.  We were on the road this morning by 4:45 and home by 10:30.