Andrew 22, version 3.0* (*Yes, we plan on returning to school next year.)

This is the third edition of the column, which is a a blatant rip-off of (1) Pat Forde's "40 Yard Dash" column that he pens during the college football season. (He also does a college basketball one, but it is his pigskin one that coaches, players and fans anxiously wait for each week.) Of course, our version comes with a twist. Instead of 40 things pertaining to college football (Forde's runs the gamut from coaches and players to cheerleaders and college bars), ours is 22 things pertaining to...well, whatever is on our mind at the time. As for the name of the column? It honors Andrew Toney, the single greatest under-6'4"-offensive-threat in history of the NBA.

March Madness: The 16 divided by 4 recap!

We will admit that things are a bit blurry right now. Thursday, Friday and Saturday all kind of blended together in a sea of late night hoop viewings. (2) North Carolina rolled by Arkansas, breaking the century mark for the second time in two tournament games. It was then that we knew Our Louisville Cardinals would be in trouble. Shredding (3) Mount St. Mary's is one thing. Doing it to a solid SEC team is a whole other matter. But first the Cards had to get by Tennessee and (4) Pat Summitt Bruce Pearl. Pearl is an interesting chap. He goes way back to the early 80s, when he was a Boston College assistant coach. The Eagles were actually fun to watch back then. Roly-poly point guard (5) John Bagley was unstoppable. 6'9" pencil-thin-lefty (6) Jay Murphy had a sweet stroke and his eligibility restored when he was stashed in the BC night school program. BC even upset top seeded DePaul (which was led by future NBA-er (7) Terry Cummings) in The Dance.

Anyway, back to Pearl. He later became an assistant (following (8)Tom Davis from BC) at Iowa and turned in Illinois for illegal recruiting. His thanks? He got fired. Now (after going to University of Milwaukee-Wisconsin) he is BMOC at Tennessee. But, he sure does sweat a lot. In fact, most people sweat watching him sweat.

So, we were sweating as his Vols were giving Louisville all it could handle. Things got so hairy in the second half, we had to switch away from the game for a while. In the process, we caught a great interview on Nightline with everyone's favorite ex-baseball player (9) Ozzie Jose Canseco. When we flipped back, The Sons of Rick Pitino had things under control and we enjoyed a calm and relaxing replay of the second half via the almighty DVR. (Speaking of which, we must admit we were completely wrong about something. About 10 years ago when (10) Tivo (the grandfather to the DVR) first hit the market, we had no interest at all in it. Still worse, we openly said "no one" would ever buy the silly thing. "People have VCRs, no one wants or needs Tivo," we belted out one Thanksgiving.

Now, if Comcast came and took away our HD DVR, we would kill ourselves get really (really!) mad. Thanks to It, we watch almost nothing live anymore. And no more wasted time spent on commercials. If we were to rank our Favorite Man Toys (a good idea, by the way, for another blog), we are sure the DVR would be near the top of the list with the Blackberry, Weber Grill, computer, cable, HD DLP TV and the clicker.

Prior to the Cards-Vols, we enjoyed a great game between West Virginia and Xavier. Our bracket said Xavier, but you can never have enough (11) Bobby Huggins. What's better than Coach Huggs standing with his sport coat and "dry fit" blue T? Actually, the answer is it was even better when he used to coach in his West Virginia pull-over jacket. The same jacket you can go into any store in the state and buy for $39. Anyway, Huggs had a five point lead in overtime before his boys decided they no longer wanted to play D and further decided to get really nervous on Oh. Xavier advanced and our only thought was, how did this team not win the Atlantic 10?

As great as Thursday's games were, Friday's were just that bad. CBS was surely horrified that it had simultaneous games that were decided by more than 20 points. (12) Big Boy Greg Gumbel looked physically ill as CBS couldn't make up its mind and switched back and forth between two horrific games. This exchange sums it up: CBS switched everyone back to the Memphis-Michigan State game. (13) Jim Nance welcomed viewers, saying: "Michigan State has scored 16 straight points and cut Memphis' lead to 18."

C-U-T the lead to 18?!?

What's worse -- Nance's loser comment or the fact that after scoring 16 straight points, the Spartans were still trailing by 18?!?

Saturday didn't start off too promising, as UCLA creamed Xavier. (So that's how they didn't win the mighty A-10!) The nightcap was the aforementioned Louisville-North Carolina tilt. We will say this about the two teams. Louisville has more good players and a better coach. However, the Tar Heels have (14) Tyler Hansbrough, by far the best player in the land. U of L jumped out early, fell behind by 12 at halftime and was tied with five minutes to play. That was when Hansbrough hit two 21-footers (where'd those come from?) and Louisville's (15) Earl Clark decided it would be really cool to shave points get called for travelling three times in four trips down the court. Carolina 83 Louisville 73. (16) David Padgett, possibly our (17) Favorite Card of All-Time After Milt Wagner, sat on the court and cried. We sat on our couch and almost cried.

Sunday we rejoiced (both personally and bracket-wise) watching Memphis make Texas look silly. Faithful readers know that we are card carrying members of (18) Coach Cal Nation. ("What we are doing is bigger than basketball. We're teaching life skills.") And since we are (19) Sooner Nation (football-wise), any time Texas loses in anything we are happy. People gave Cal crap all season because his kids could not hit free throws. Yesterday, in their biggest game of the season? They nailed 30 of 36 attempts. The second game (Kansas v. Davidson), we missed, as we were sitting court side for the Celtics-Heat 6 P.M. game. And we do mean court side, as (20) Kendrick Perkins came thisclose to landing in our lap while trying to grab a loose ball from the Developmental League's NBA's worst team. Fret not, we DVR'd the game (of course).

Now what?

We honestly don't know what will happen this weekend. Kansas, North Carolina, Memphis and UCLA are clearly the best four teams around. If we were to seed them, we'd go: 1. Memphis 2. Kansas 3.UCLA 4.North Carolina. Bracket wise, we have Kansas beating UCLA. But since we can't win (21) "major coin" -- we will be pulling for The Coach Cals of Memphis. Furthermore, we are hoping they beat our Favorite Whipping Boy, none other than (22) Roy "I won my only title coaching Matt Doherty's players" Williams. That's what we want. As for what we think?

Check back at the end of the week.