What's purple, fat and stinks?!?

We told you months ago. (It's right here.) We told you that Boris Diaw was terrible. In fact, we told you that you are, most likely, a better player than he is. (By the way, notice the picture of ol' Boris. Isn't it great to see an NBA player shooting a layup off the wrong foot?!?)

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Any who, there was The Great Boris heading down the lane to hit a simple layup to send today's Phoenix-San Antonio playoff game into a third overtime. Of course, The Talented, errrr, Talentless Boris missed the layup. More embarrassing still, he hurled himself to the floor like a girl, trying to get a gift from the ref. The only gift was the fact that his Great Move ended the game for his Suns. And no more did we have to watch Blimpy Boris during our Saturday evening.

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Not only did Boris lose the game for his team, he basically ended the series. There is no way Phoenix will come back. Ever. See you next fall, Bumbling Boris.

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Of course, it was not all his fault -- just most of it was. Phoenix coach Mike D'Antoni is a great guy. If he was your next door neighbor, he would welcome your kids over. Offer them lemonade. Play catch with them. When your fam was away, he would call you up and offer you a shot of Jack on the deck. Spurs' coach Greg Popovich, on the other hand, is universally hated by almost everyone who covers the NBA. If your kids dared entered his yard, he would come running out and scream at them. "Get the hell outta here!" he would undoubtedly bark at them. And as your little ones went running for safety, he would almost certainly give them a one finger salute.

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Be that as it may, he is a great coach. Or, perhaps, he is great at getting his team to play great. Let the Spurs' players play one-on-one against the Suns' guys and the Phoenix players would win the majority of the games. Yet, somehow, some way, Pops gets his team to make just enough plays to win. The Suns? D'Antoni's Dolts make just enough mindless plays to lose. Today, it was Steve Nash committing two killer 24 second shot clock violations. (Steve Nash?!?) It was Amare Stoudemire passing up a ten footer with his team up three and 12 seconds left in the first OT. Instead, he took one dribble and charged into Tim Duncan. And with five seconds left in the second OT, it was Raja Bell (the same Raja Bell whom The World touts as a the Supreme Defender) allowing Manu Ginobili to drive to his left for the game winning layup. For gawd sake, Raja, Ginoble is left handed!

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Our 76ers will never get by the Pistons next week. But we know one thing: They won't play anywhere near as stupid as the Phoenix Suns did today.

Oops. We know two things. The other is that Boris Diaw sucks eggs.

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