Odds & Evens Ends...

Wow. The LPGA is going to suspend the memberships of players who don't speak English?!? Oh, my. We wonder how that would fly if companies and businesses instituted the same rule. And didn't the guy from Geno's Steaks get in a heap of trouble for forcing his customers to order in English? What if Whore Stern said Yao couldn't play in the NBA his first year unless he had mastered the English Language?

We honestly watched three minutes of the opening ceremonies of the Olympics. And maybe five minutes of the men's hoop team smoking somebody, followed by perhaps 10 minutes of the closing ceremonies. We are just not big on the Olympics. To make matters worse, Our College Football Guy, Pat Forde, covered the games for espn.com. No big deal, right? Except for the fact that for three weeks he didn't type a single word about football. Today, that situation was corrected. Here's his latest Forde Yard Dash.

While we were in the basement for two weeks, a lot happened. To wit:

-- Gas kept dropping. We paid $3.45 in the basement. Who would have ever thought that would be cause for joy?!?

-- John McCain overtook Obama Osama in the polls. We knew it was only a matter of time before people took Osama for the fraud that he is. While making fun of McCain for not knowing how many houses he owns, Big John shut Osama right up by saying he would be happy to show him where he lived when he was a POW.

-- Shawne Merriman had, like, 17 different opinions on his knee, hoping one sucker doctor would say, "Sure. You can play!"

-- Mike and the Mad Dog split up. The drive time duo on WFAN lasted nearly 20 years before divorcing recently. They were considered the kings of sports talk radio and seemed to be the perfect match. Mike Francessa was (and is) the most knowledgeable guy around. Mad Dog had the passion of a psycho fan and was the perfect foil to Francessa's seriousness with his constant butchering of the English language. But alas, like most Hollywood marriages, EGO got in the way. Francessa stayed with the 'Fan, while rumors are heavy that Mad Dog (AKA Chris Russo) will get a $2-3 million a year gig from Satellite Radio. They will both still be good, but never as good as they were together.

Finally, with Labor(less) Day next week, the fall television season is beginning to wake from it's heated hibernation. Gossip Girl resumes Labor Day night. The new 90210 debuts the following night. We, of course, are especially looking forward to 90210. But we can't help but think it will be a huge disappointment. It will be impossible not to compare it to the original. But while that one had peeps like Brandon, Brenda, Dylan and Steve, the new has Silver (Silver?!?) -- and we don't mean David Silver. Plus, Rob Estes is the new principal. (What -- Mrs. Teasly wanted too much coin for the new show?!?). Estes was (and always will be) the Infamous Loser on Melrose Place who over-acted his way to the bottom and lost Amanda to Dr. Peter Burns. (Who, by the way, is the real guy they should have cribbed from Melrose to be the principal.) And finally, The Office returns September 25.