Uncle Charlie dons pinstripes for parade

Greatest sports photo -- EVER...

Carlos Ruiz and Brad Lidge

Phinally...

Sliders...

Two minutes a side.

Add sharp cheddar cheese, mustard, catchup and a pickle.

UGH...

A few randoms from last night's rain-fest:

1. As we stated yesterday, the pressure is definitely on the Phillies to close out the series in game five. With Brett Myers (a mental midget, as my uncle calls him) set to pitch on the road in game six and Jamie Moyer (yes, he's a gamer -- but he also has the ability to get lit up) in game seven, it was imperative that Cole Hamels closed the deal last night.

2. Which brings us to our next point. We're not sure what Idiot Selig should have done last night. It was not raining when the game started. Should Idiot Selig have waited to start the game? What if the rain never came or was less than expected? The problem is the whole thing looks fixed when Idiot Selig called for a rain delay immediately after the Rays tied the game in the 6th inning. Had the Rays not tied the game, would Idiot Selig have allowed the game to continue in the flooded monsoon conditions?!?

3. The weather in Philadelphia tonight is supposed to be cold and...wait for it...wet. If the completion of game 5 gets pushed back to Wednesday, at least that would allow Hamels to start game 7 if, knock on wood, the series gets to that point.

4. Ugh. We are tired and grumpy. If the trio of Jimmy Rollins, Chase Utley and Pat Burrell -- hitting a collective .138 (spearheaded by Burrell's impressive .000 average) -- suddenly decides to hit whenever game 5 resumes, that would eliminate the grumpy part.

One More W...

Well, this doesn't happen to us very often. In fact, it hasn't happened to us since, like, what seems to be forever. One game from getting a Philadelphia sports championship. (Sorry, Arena Losers, Bon Jovi and Jaws bringing a title home via the Soul does NOT count!) True, it was only three years ago that the Eagles battled the Patriots in the Super Bowl. But deep down inside, we knew there was no way they were going to beat New England.

The scary thing, however, is how pessimistic we are. While The Sporting World seems to consider tonight's game a mere formality (hello, Gene Wojciechowski), we think if the Phillies lose tonight, they will be in deep trouble. Think about it: no Cole Hamels the rest of the series and they have to go back and play in Crap Hole Field.

So while tonight is certainly not Lose and Go Home for the Phillies -- it kind of feels that way with us. So, to bring some good karma, we are going to focus on all the great things related to the Phillies:

1. Bake McBride's afro from the 1980 championship team.

2. Dickie Noles getting loaded at the bar with The Pope, general manager Paul Owens, and then getting punched out by said Pope.

3. Tug McGraw's screwball.

4. Jeff Stone thinking their was more than one moon.

5. Jeff Stone thinking a shrimp cocktail had alcohol in it.

6. Dave Cash's nickname -- AC -- because he was always so cool.

7. The yellow seats in Veterans Stadium.

8. The collective mullets of John Kruck, Dave Hollins and Pete Incaviglia in 1993.

9. The fact Dutch Daulton showed us a centerfold of his wife in his locker during the summer of 1990 (true story).

10. The Philly Fanatic.

11. The toughness of coach John Vukovich (R.I.P.)

12. Anything and everything about Dallas Green.

13. Manny Trillo drinking champagne from the 1980 National League Championship trophy.

14. Steve Carlton's slider.

15. Bull's BBQ.

16. Ashburn Alley.

17. Nino Espinoza faking an injury in 1980 so Hard Marty Bystrom (5-oh as a September call-up) could take his spot on the post season roster.

18. Jimmy Rollins taunting the Mets and then backing up his talk.

19. Dick (Rufus) Ruthven coming out of the 'pen (after winning 17 as a starter) to win the fifth game of the playoffs against the Astros in 1980.

20. Jim's Steaks in center field.

21. The fact that when we were a kid, our father took us to Phillies games and kids got in for 50 cents (senior citizens, too). The price for adults? A whopping $2.50.

22. Pete Rose intentionally getting hit by a pitch and then sprinting to first base to kick start the rally in game one of the 1980 World Series.

23. Dickie Noles (again) regaining lost momentum for the Phillies by throwing a 90 MPH heater at George Brett's face in game four of the 1980 series.

24. The picture in Sports Illustrated of catcher Bob Boone laughing as he caught Noles' bean-ball.

25. Shane Victorino's efforts against the Dodgers two weeks ago.

26. The 1976 team, which was the second best in baseball and gave the Reds everything they could handle and more in the playoffs.

27. Mike Schmidt thinking he was (and is) the coolest guy on the planet.

28. Arnold Ray posting 1980 numbers of .309, 21 and 87.

There you have it. Twenty eight things to help bring the Phillies their first World Series title in 28 years! Go, Phillies!

Wow!

Game was won.

Game was lost (on a bad call).

Game was won (on a crazy 9th inning), 5-4.

Now off to bed -- note the time (2:03 AM).

Twelve games to watch today

Boston College at North Carolina -- Daddy Butch's kids are good at home, a little shaky on the road. Coach Jags' guys are just plain shaky. UNC 24 BC 21.

Texas Tech at Kansas -- The two coaches, Mike Leach and Mark Mangino, are both from Bob Stoops' original OU staff. Both guys are still sorely missed. Leach would be great to hang with at a cocktail party. Mangino would be the guy to hang with at a Chinese food buffet. Neither team plays any defense. We'll take KU in an upset, 45-41.

Illinois at Wisconsin -- No reason to watch this game, except for the fact you can tell your woman that you run faster than these Big 10 players. Illinois 24 Wisconsin 20.

Oklahoma State at Texas -- Reason to watch: To see if OS-Who coach Mike Gundy's head explodes. Texas 41 OS-Who 24.

Georgia at LSU -- Is there a more overrated player than Georgia QB Matthew Stafford?!? LSU 21 Georgia 17.

Michigan State at Michigan -- The Playmaker told us he will "probably decide to play football at Michigan." We told our wife that when that happens, we will "definitely" be moving to Ann Arbor. State 17 Michigan 16.

Dartmouth at Columbia -- Come again?!? Hey, the game is on Versus -- and that means HD at its highest level. Dartmouth 2 Columbia 0.

USC at Arizona -- We love Mike Stoops. But we hope Coach Pete hangs 50 on him tonight to further cement Stoops getting canned so he can go back and light the fire under brother Bob in Norman.

Colorado at Missouri -- Remember when CU got, like, 12 extra downs against Mizzou? Today, Mizzou looks to take out the frustration of the last two weeks (getting pistol whipped by OS-Who and Texas) and put a beat-down on the Buffs. Missouri 35 Colorado 20.

Alabama at Tennessee -- The SEC on a Saturday night is the pinnacle of college football. Not sure how many more losses Phillip can absorb before he gets pushed out of Knoxville. Alabama 24 Tennessee 14.

Penn State at Ohio State -- This will show us how good PSU really is. Ohio State is a bottom tier top 20 team. If PSU is any good, they should be able to go on the road and secure the W. Penn State 23 Ohio State 17.

Notre Dame at Washington -- ZZZ. Weiss 21 Willingham 14. ZZZ.

Keith Jackson's catch against Nebraska

The Legend Continues...

A few weeks ago, we got an e-mail from SJHJR24 detailing how he enjoyed reading about "the legend" of The Playmaker. (He was undoubtedly just being polite!)

Anyway, the legend continued last night. The Playmaker's Packer flag football team trailed 25-20 with three minutes to play. Two incomplete passes later, we faced a third down with just over a minute to play. (Flag football = running time.) Barry Switzer would have called it Sooner Magic (think Keith Jackson making a circus catch with 30 seconds left to set up a game winning field goal against Nebraska in 1985). The Playmaker ran a simple 10 yard button hook, caught the ball cleanly and then hauled-ass down the center of the field the remaining 30 yards to score as time expired! 26-25, Packers!

Never has a World Series loss mattered so little as last night. When Your Kid scores the winning play, all is right in the world.

That's Won One! (Version 3.0)

1. Cole Hamels + Great defense + Chase Utley + Brad Lidge = 3 games away from World Champions!

2. Uncle Charlie may as well move Ryan Howard to the nine hole, because he is totally guessing up at the plate. He has no idea what he's doing right now.

3. Nice to see some Tampa Bay fans leaving Crap Hole Field with two outs in the 9th inning.

4. The Rays could have had six outs in the last inning and there was no way they were going to touch Brad Lidge. That's the most dominating he's been since before the All-Star break.

5. Now off to bed. In less than seven hours, we will be educating young minds on the value of winning game one on the road.

A one game World Series?!?

It says here that the World Series will be won or lost tonight. If Cole Hamels can get the W tonight, we think the Phillies will win in six games. If not, the Rays will win in five.

It will be interesting to see if the Phillies come out tonight with a hangover. It has been one full week since they last played. Notorious slow starters in April, will their bats be in an April-like funk?!? Uncle Charlie is keeping the team's DH a secret. With lefty Scott Kazmir on the mound tonight, lefties Matt Stairs and Greg Dobbs will most likely be on the bench. That leaves such stellar options as Chris Coste, So Taguchi and Eric Bruntlett. Hmm...

Football Update
The Packers improved to 6-2 with their 28-18 victory over the Lions last night. The Playmaker had four catches, including an end-to-end 40 yard TD, a 38 yard catch (before getting "tackled" on the two yard line) and a two point conversion.

Sunday: First fire of the season

Monday Randoms...

1. Well, we were pulling for the Red Sox to win game seven last night -- even though we felt the Phillies would have a better chance against the Rays. But, ironically, the Sox looked a bit like the Phillies with their lack of situational hitting. They had chances in the 7th, 8th and 9th innings, but could not get runners home. So, the World Series begins Wednesday with the Rays hosting the Phillies in Crap Hole Field. The Phillies are definitely the underdogs, BUT if Cole Hamels or Brett Myers can get us a split, we like the Phillies chances. If not, get ready to say, "Tampa Bay Rays -- World Series Champions!"


2. Despite statements to the contrary, we have to think Jerry Jones is dangerously close to canning his buffoon of a coach, Wade Phillips. And if Phillips survives the season but does not get Dallas into the Super Bowl, we think JJ will make a big push for Bill Cowher in the off-season. (Whether or not he is dumb enough to get into bed with Jones is a whole other matter.)


3. Just another reason why we love Coach Pete. His USC Trojans were ahead 41-zip on Hopeless Washington State. They had the ball inside WSU's 30 yard line with under two minutes to play in the second quarter. Yet, Coach Pete had his boys run out the clock. Ultimately, they won, 69-0. But he could have put a C-note on the board. Easily.


4. We finally got around to watching the 20/20 interview with Christie Brinkley's husband, Peter Cook. Wow, that guy is C-R-A-Z-Y! It's bad enough (REALLY BAD!) to do what he admitted doing. But to go on national television and discuss it with Barbara Walters?!? Loser!

So now what?!?

Yes, we wanted the Red Sox to win last night. But now that they are one game away from playing Our Philadelphia Phillies, we are in a quandary. We have concluded that the Phillies have a 50-50 shot to beat the Rays in the World Series. Their chances against the Sox? Um, not so good. We'd say something 25 percent.

Hmm...

Saturday Night Special (Update)

The Mrs. is off with two girl friends for a night of Diet Cokes and nachos at Chilis. (Damn -- we did NOT get invited!!!) The kids are in bed. The dog has been walked. And we have two orders of chicken wings to inhale while watching LSU-South Carolina, Missouri-Texas and the Red Sox-Rays.

1. LSU will win on the road. Lester's not going to lose to the Head Ball Coach on national TV. Certainly not with SC playing Party Boy Stephen Garcia at QB. LSU 24 SC 14.

2. Mizzou will put up some points, but not nearly enough. UT 40 UM 27

3. We really want the Red Sox to win. But Beckett clearly is not Becket. Rays 6 Red Sox 4.

Oh, yeah. Don't call, 'cause we're not picking up. (Shocker!)

Saturday Morning Facts & Predictions

1. Team 708 got back to its winning ways this (cold) morning, 10-6. The Playmaker led the way with six (six!) goals. For the season, we are 5-1.

2. The Flag Football Packers won Thursday night, 16-6. The Playmaker had three catches, including one 2-point conversion. For the third week in a row, he shut down his receiver on defense -- giving up zero receptions. We are now 5-2 and all alone in first place.

3. Regarding Tommy Bowden, there seems to be this feeling nationally that he got a raw deal being forced to resign last week. Huh?!? Say what?!? Not to be rude, but the man was a TERRIBLE coach during his Clemson tenure. His teams were never ready to play. And, as we have stated for years, if his name was Tommy Smith, he would have been canned two seasons ago.

4. Mizzou has NO CHANCE tonight at Texas. The Horns will roll, 42-24. Regarding Chase Daniel, he looks like the frat boy in college we all knew (and loved). You know -- the kid who seemingly never had class and did nothing but eat fast food and drink beer every day. Seriously, Chaser, mix in a salad and a bottle of H2O!

5. Lee Corso, trying to make enemies every week, sat in Austin two hours ago and said Penn State, not Texas, is the best team in the land. Um, coach?!? They play in the Crap 10, which means they have, like, no hard games the whole year. Wisconsin stinks and Ohio State (which hosts PSU next week) is a semi-decent team (at best). If Texas or Oklahoma battled the Nittany Lions, both would cruise to double digit wins.

Rotisserie

While drinking dining with Coach/Captain Ray last Sunday, he showed us what we had been doing wrong on our Weber Rotisserie. It's all about proper distribution of the anchor weight. Anyway, one day later we tried it out. Here are the results:

Wow...

Wow. We went to bed and the Red Sox were down 5-zip in the fifth inning. Forty five minutes later, unable to sleep, we got up and turned the game back on to find them losing 7-0 in the seventh. And then some true magic happened. Pedroia singled in one run. Big Papi hit a three-run dinger to make it 7-4. In the eighth (after Papelbon pitched a scoreless inning), they cut it to one on a J.D. Drew homer. And then Coco Crisp fouled off about 17 pitches before ripping a single to left to tie the game. Finally, in the ninth, Drew won the game -- plating Youkilis with a double to right.

On behalf of the Philadelphia Philles, we salute the Red Sox for their great comeback and, more importantly, extending the series while the Phillies sit home and rest.

And now we are off to bed. For the second time.

Jayson Stark knows the Philadelphia Phillies, 2.0

"They've spent their whole careers hearing about the Phillies of Carlton and Schmidt, the Phillies of Kruk and Dykstra, even the Phillies of Ashburn and Roberts...But now it's their turn."

It's all about the tabloids

Phillies advance to World Series!

1. We did not know if we would ever get the chance to type that!

2. We will be thumbing our nose at the no-hats-in-school rule tomorrow (actually today -- as in seven hours from now) and donning our Phillies cap.

3. Ryan Madson throwing 97 MPH?!? Who knew? Seriously...who knew?!?

4. Manny Being Manny?!? That Ay-hole was laughing in the dugout in the 9th inning. Nice. Very nice.

5. Was there ever a more valuable .222 playoff hitter than Shane Victorino?!?

Three and out...

1. Cole Hamels and the Phillies go for the clincher in LA tonight. While it would be splendid to clinch the series in front of the Philly fans at The Bank, we would just assume Cole end it tonight. The Dodgers are "pesky" and the Phillies are still prone to offensive droughts. Hopefully we win tonight and the Red Sox extend the Rays to game 6 (at least).

2. Nice to see the Eagles cut bait with running back Tony Hunt. Nothing like having a running game that blows and your former third round pick can't help out, let alone stay in the league more than a year and a half. Yet another example of how pointless it is to let Andy Reid run the draft. And it's only a matter of time before 2006 second round pick Winston Justice is unemployed, too. So...the owner (Jeff Laurie -- the guy whose mom bought him the team) is cheap and the coach is clueless as a talent evaluator. Oh, and his 1980s Bill Walsh offense no longer works in the NFL.

3. The Packers won their second straight game last night in flag football, defeating the Bears 27-18. The Playmaker had three catches. One was a 30-yard touchdown (taking a 6-yard button hook and running the other 24 yards to the house.) Another catch was for our first two-point conversion of the season. Our record is now 4-2.

Phillies Franks Links...

NY Post: "The Phillies' late-August trade with the Blue Jays for Matt Stairs won't go down as one of the season's blockbuster acquisitions."

NY Post: "The Yanks will look at a lot of free agents this offseason. [Pat] Gillick might be the most important."

NY Daily News: "September, October, it doesn't seem to matter to the Phillies. They keep finding ways to win, this time in stunning comeback fashion. And now they look like practically a lock to make it to the World Series."

Jayson Stark: "So who wrote this script? Who predicted this finish? Who can explain the unbelievable chain of events that have led the Phillies to the brink of their first World Series journey in 15 years? A game-winning, pinch-hit home run by a 40-year-old guy who hadn't gotten a hit all month? A game-losing, series-altering gopher ball by a pitcher who hadn't served up a home run in his home ballpark in so long, the Dow has dropped about 5,000 points since then? A game-tying homer by the biggest villain in town, a fellow who is about as popular in Los Angeles these days as gas prices? A heart-pumping, four-out save by a closer who hadn't gotten a four-out save since July 26, 2006?"

Bill Plaschke: "After six innings Monday, the Dodgers lived on the brink of tying the National League Championship Series against the Philadelphia Phillies. They died in the bullpen."

Phil Sheridan: "He [Shane Victorino] is the unlikeliest of villains, this most likable of Phillies."

Phillies 7 Dodgers 5

We cheer for LOSERS

Ugh. First Our Sooners lost on Saturday. (And the Red Sox, too.) Yesterday, we were officially kicked out of Last Man Standing (and the $1k winning prize). Our transgression? Thinking that somehow the Washington Redskins would be able to defeat (at home, no less) the hapless (and winless) St. Louis Rams. Rams 19 Redskins 17. Seriously, like, why are we not even the least bit surprised?!? k

On top of that, the Phillies got the oh-so-predictable-up-two-love-kick-to-the-groin in game three against the Dodgers. And then we had to watch as effing A-hole Manny pretended he wanted to fight the entire Phillies team. Memo to Manny: You are a wussy who knows nothing about anything in life, other than how to hit a ball. Fifteen years ago, Pete Incaviglia and Dave Hollins would have tag-teamed Manny until he was unconscious. And if that didn't work, Mitch Williams and Dutch Daulton would have tried to shoot him with guns after the game. (Memo to Uncle Charlie: We know it would have resulted in ejections and maybe even a one game suspension, but we would have wasted someone like Clay Condrey or Scott Eyre and had them throw at Manny's head after last night's brawl.)
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And to top it off, the Patriots continued their mediocre play, getting slapped around 30-10 to the Chargers.
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Ugh.