Celtics losing proves a lot about Pee Pee

Honestly, we were sure the Celtics were going to win last night. What we saw from the Orlando Magic against Our 76ers in the first round of the playoffs showed us very little. They looked like a team that:

A. Completely ignored their best player on offense

B. Only wanted to hoist treys

C. Were coached by a short, fan man who screamed and whined a lot, but had no clue how to actually coach

Even without Kevin Garnett, we figured the Celtics would win the series.

Of course, they did not. Patrick Ewing's prediction actually came true. (By the way, that makes him, like, 2-17 in career predictions.)

And we love the fact the Cetlics lost. They can never lose too many games to suit our taste.

But even better than actually losing is what it proves for all to see. It is Garnett, not Paul Pierce, who is the best player on the Celtics. It was Garnett, not Pierce, who got the Celtics their championship last June.

Think we're wrong?!?

Riddle us this: If Pierce had missed the series, but KG had been 100 percent, would the outcome have been different?!?

Of course it would. There's no way a Celtics team with KG would have lost to the Magic.

And what did Paul Pierce ever do before KG (and Ray Allen) came to town?!?

Um. Well, he was fat. Really fat. His defense was terrible. And he took a ton of bad shots.

Losing KG for the playoffs was...wait for it... huge. (News flash!) But shouldn't the self proclaimed "Best Player in the World" be able to get his team to the NBA Finals out of the second round of the playoffs?!?

But no. All Pee Pee could do was muster a measly 16 points (on 4-13 shooting, including 1-5 behind the line) and 2 rebounds (niiice) in 39 woeful minutes. Ouch. Maybe he should have faked another injury and gone off in a wheelchair and then come back on the court 30 seconds later. That sure worked last year.

So, we'll next see your muscle-less body in October, Pee Pee. Have a nice off-season.

And, oh yeah. One more thing. Before you start talking (again) about being "The Best Player in the World", you may want to update it so it's actually (and factually) correct. You are: "The Second Best Player on a Team that Lost in the 2nd Round of the Playoffs".

How classic is that?!?