Wednesday, September 1, 2010

The Big Board©...

1.Stats! We've linked up to some cool analytical gadgets that break-down the numbers on this blog. We discovered, for instance, that we have multiple followers in ... wait for it ... Canada (ay)! Also, yesterday we had no fewer than 71 hits on the blog -- well above our numbers when we last figured them out (on our own) a year ago.

2. The Phillies won, but their offense still sucks! Hoo-ray, they put up an 8 spot on the Dodgers. But how many more 3 run bombs is Brian Schneider gonna hit?!? Victorino is beginning to shake off his season long hangover, but they need Utley and J-Roll to do the same. We think they'll win the wild card. Beyond that, we just don't know.

3. Shocker,Osama refuses to credit W for winning the war in Iraq! Now that Osama has decided we've won in Iraq and can begin to bring home our brave men and women he simply refuses to give W any credit at all. Three years ago the liberal commie loser democrats were all over W's case because instead of pulling troops out, he actually added troops to the effort in Iraq. And who screamed the loudest?!? Why Osama, of course. And now he wants us to bow down before him because we've "won" in Iraq and he wants our war heroes home.

4. First day of school for The Playmaker & The Playmaker's Sister! Remember how you always spent two days planning what you were going to wear on day one?!? She went with ... wait for it ... and Aeropostale shirt (shocker!) and shorts. He went with a Talbots golf shirt, shorts and Air Jordans. (Tomorrow, and probably every day on out, he will, undoubtedly, go with a sports jersey.)

5. Oh, my arm, I think it's broken!↑↓ For reasons unknown to man us, The Dog likes to lay like a cat on top of the couch and stare out the window. On Sunday, he fell off and landed on the heating baseboard. It made a loud noise (and scared the sheet out of The Dog), but there was no apparent damage to the animal (or the baseboard). However, Monday morning he wanted nothing to do with putting any pressure on his back right leg. After watching him hop around on three legs the whole day, we took him to the vet in the late afternoon. The Vet (good guy -- we know him from lax) said he was "50-70 percent" sure The Dog had sprained his ACL. (We kid you not, the dog sprained his ACL. Raise your hand if you even knew dogs had ACLs.) He gave him some pain meds and said bring him back in a week. Worst case scenario would be an ACL tear -- which would mean doggie surgery. (Again, we can't make this stuff up.) So we gave him some Vicodin a pill that night and it knocked him right out. The next morning (yesterday) we gingerly got him out of his cage and put him on the floor to see what he would do. After doing his usual morning stretching for 15 seconds, The Dog ... wait for it ... started booking around the house! We ran after him and attempted to calm him down and get him to sit with us on the couch. He had no interest, so we let him outside. After five minutes we brought him back in. After getting a big drink, he brought us the tennis ball and wanted to play. He was his normal self the whole day. No sign of even a limp. We stopped to the meds to make sure he was running around because he was healthy, not because he was all Favred Up on narcotics. This morning, he is, again, fine. Knock on wood, but we are guessing we can rule out the ACL tear, and even the sprain. Now the question is whether or not we can use his pain pills.

6. The Pats shaky D just got even shakier! It wasn't all that good to begin with, but now having lost Leigh Bodden (to go along with Ty Warren), The Sons of Coach Bill are in a bit of trouble. Their Best Bet (or is it Only Hope?!?) is that Tom Brady puts up 35 plus points every week.

7. Good gawd, man, get a haircut! Speaking of TB12, we know he's all trendy and the jet setter, etc. but please, puh-lease, get a haircut. The amount of respect he would earn around the league by getting a buz cut would be incomprehensible. Screw Giselle, Tom. (Michael Scott: That's what she said.) Don't listen to what she (and her publicists - plural) are telling you. Shave it off. Be a man, for gawd sake.

8. No one can get their hands on a Sprint HTC Evo! But, of course, we've had one for over a month. Again, being The Mayor comes with perks. So while The Country tries to score one of those suckers, we've been loving ours for weeks on end. Plain and simple, it's the best phone we've ever had or seen! (And yes, Our Wife has an iPhone 4.)

9. In The Basement, we read The Philadelphia Inquirer! And you know what, their Sunday business section absolutely makes The Boston Globe look like C-R-A-P. Bookmark it. Read it every week. You'll be better off for it.

10. TCU sucks! We are tired of hearing about TCU being one of the top 5 college football teams this season. Their schedule is akin to a girls U7 flag football team.


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