Andrew 22

We are starting a new column here at The Pit Master. It is a blatant rip-off of (1) Pat Forde's "40 Yard Dash" column that he pens during the college football season. But, of course, our version comes with a twist. Instead of 40 things pertaining to college football (Forde's runs the gamut from coaches and players to cheerleaders and college bars), ours is 22 things pertaining to...well, whatever is on our mind at the time. As for the name of the column? Keep reading and you will find out.

It's kind of embarrassing that as a father/husband in his 30s (at least for a few more months), we find anything related to (2) Britney Spears to be utterly fascinating and quite entertaining. Trailer park mom, divorced (and drunk) dad, millions of dead presidents raked in before Britney was even legal. Several failed marriages, baby sis (3) Jamie Lynne gets knocked up. I mean. What's not to like? Why do people watch the news? Hint: It's not because of the feel good stories.

Andrew 22 and our son were watching the Knicks - Celtics game on MLK Day and immediately noticed how FAT the Knicks are. (4) Eddie Curry, (5) Quinton Richardson and (6) Zach Randolph are collectively 200 pounds overweight. Easily. At least Curry and Randolph are 6'9" and 6'11", respectively. Q is generously listed 6'5" -- which means he is really about 6'4". Good Gawd, man, mix in some salads and walk away from the dessert tray. It evokes memories of Our Guy (7) Peter Vecsey coining the nickname Dinner Bell Mel for roly-poly (8) Mel Turpin back in the mid '80s.

Speaking of fat, this blog has always enjoyed poking fun at Boston Celtics star (9) Paul Pierce for being a donut shy of obesity. Andrew 22 will say this about Pierce, the 2008 version: He has lost a few lbs since last season. And we will admit he is a big guy (not tall, mind you). Still, the Softball Guy who goes three bills (and laughs about it)? He has more muscle tone than Pee-Pee. Seriously, what's Pee-Pee's body fat percentage? It must be something disgusting like 70 percent. Or 95.

Man, this writers strike is starting to be a real drag. It's deprived us of (10) 24. And interrupted (11) The Office and (12) Gossip Girl. Thank goodness for (13) The Food Network, (14) John Black coming back to Days of Our Lives, and reruns of (14) Friends and The Office (on TBS).

Back in the day, when we ran (15) The Collegiate Press Box, we used to line up people we loathed and print stuff like we wanted to "punch them in the face" or "throw them under the bus." Now that we are (allegedly) more mature, we will say there are people we want to "crack-back block on." First up in our inaugural Andrew 22 column: Dr. Fat, errrrrr, (16) Dr. Phil. First, he gravy-trained (© (17) Jim Rome) off Oh-Pee, errrrrr, (18) Oprah. Now he thinks he is the shrink for the country. (Witness him throwing himself on Our Gal Brit.)

For Christmas, we received a couple of gift cards to i-Tunes. Having never downloaded songs from there, we were quite curious about the process. We quickly discovered that basically every song ever created was at our fingertips to download quickly and easily. Man, it brought back the dreamy year that (19) Napster was all the rage. We used to sit in the basement and download 25 songs a night. And it was, wait for it............free! All of it.

Andrew 22's 6-yr old son has already decided that when he "grows up", he will be playing college football at Michigan. And, of course, his old man is down with that. But somehow, we would not mind (at all) him playing for (20) Coach Pete at SC.

Speaking of college football, less than six weeks until (21) spring practice. Which means fall is almost around the corner.

"And it was good..."

Finally, none other than Larry Bird himself described (22) Andrew Toney as the best offensive player he ever played against. Well, other than Michael Jordan, of course.