Sunday, May 18, 2008

Memo to Cavs: Next time bring some Oh!

1. The Cavaliers are downright gruesome to watch on offense. Seriously, why don't they just put four guys on one side of the floor and let LeBron play one-on-one on the other side? Otherwise, they simply can't score. How bad is it when you have to bring in Joe Smith (Joe Smith!) for an offensive lift? And really -- the only difference between Wally Szczerbiak and us is the fact that he is 6'7" and we aren't. Besides that -- it's a total wash. We, too, can launch flat footed set shots that only go in when we are the widest of wide open.

2. Time for Ben Wallace to retire. The afro is cool and all, but besides that -- what else is there? Ah...nothing. At least he used to be good on defense. Today? He guarded Kendrick Perkins -- the fifth best scoring option among Boston's starting five.

3. As we predicted, Paul Pierce, in the comforts of the Boston Garden and the hometown refs, had a big game today. Really big, in fact. However, we thoroughly enjoyed the Pee Pee's first quarter. We lost track of what was higher: the number of times he got his shot punched or the number of times he cried to the refs. (Which was ironic, because the zebras could have should have called him for traveling every time he drove to the hoop.) Also vintage Pee Pee, ever the phony, when he fell on a camera man (nothing like having Pee Pee's 280 lbs drop on you) and came up with a fake ankle injury. Replays clearly showed no damage at all to his foot or ankle. We can only guess that since he is no longer allowed to act like a tough guy and throw down gang signs (as if...), Pee Pee figures he will act tough by bouncing back from a fake ankle injury. Have another doughnut. Nice try, Pee Pee.

4. LeBron vs. Pee Pee -- Funny how LeBron took more physical abuse than anyone in the game and never once wolfed or faked an injury. Pee Pee, meanwhile, spent the whole game flopping, grimacing and faking numerous injuries. That probably explains why LeBron's toughness is universally respected throughout the league, while Pee Pee is openly disliked by nearly everyone outside of New England. (A fact, by the way, that Jackie MacMullan wrote about two years ago.)

5. How great was it to see Eddie House's son running around the baseline and then on the court during timeouts?!? Even better was when he jogged into the lockerrom with dad for halftime. We now kind of like Eddie House. (That makes House, KG and Sam I Am -- for those counting at home.)

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