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Aw, man. I got to stretch this thing so it fits over my flab...
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Do not disturb!
We coached three different sports today. Our son had a soccer game game at 9:15 AM. (We won, 10-4. He scored 4 goals.) Then he had a baseball game at 11. (We lost, 16-12. He was 3-3 with two RBI.) Finally, at 1 PM, our daughter had a softball game. (She won, 10-2. Even better, she got her first hit of the season. She ended up 3-3, with one RBI.)
Now that the parental bragging portion of the day, not to mention the five-plus hours of coaching, are done, we will be on the couch from now until bedtime. Do not disturb!
Friday, May 30, 2008
Goong-gahala-Gahloong-gahla...
1. News item: Bill Murray's wife says he is addicted to booze and sex. We say: So what's the problem?!? Oh, my!
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2. News item: Rip Hamilton says he will play tonight. We say: Celtics win. Oooh...my arm. I think it's broken!
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3 News item: The Ten Worst Presidents. We say: How is Jimmy Carter not on this list?!?
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4. News item: Former White House press secretary Scott McClellan has written a tell-all book about Dubya's time in office. We say: Hey, Loser! Get a life. Actually, get ready for Karl Rove to ruin your life. (Covertly, of course.)
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5. News item: Over 2,000 Philadelphians say Provolone is the cheese of choice for their cheesesteaks. We say: Give us American or Cheese Wiz! Yum.
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6. News item: Techie says your cellphone may be just as good as the Blackberry for e-mailing. We say: You don't really believe that do you? Decide for yourself.
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Thursday, May 29, 2008
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
The Guardian of Sin City
Brandon Walsh: "Hold on. What do we have here? Yes, sir, that is Vegas. Surfing stops here. We're talking about Dan Tanna. The Guardian of Sin City. The coolest of the cool. God Bless America."
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Vince Young training hard in off-season
Not nearly as funny as the Matt Leinart pix, but still worth a laugh.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Papa's got a brand new funk grill*
*Actually, we just got some new Weber replacement parts...
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First, we put in a new ignition (the silver box).
Then we wired it to the red button.
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Next, we put in new Flavorizer Bars.
Finally, two new cast iron grates.
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Saturday, May 24, 2008
Friday, May 23, 2008
It's all about hoops!
College basketball's top recruiting classes!
The decline of Arizona hoops!
Peter Vecsey: AI on the trading block?!?
Big Test for Big 3!
NBADraft.Net: Roy Hibbert falling all the way to #18?!?
Derrek Kellogg lands UConn transfer!
DC all done at Louisville!Baron Davis to Knicks?!?
Heat looking to booze for Boozer?!?
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Thursday, May 22, 2008
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Staying home today for the big 4-oh
Today is my wife's birthday, so we are both taking the day off from work. Woo-Woo!
Stuff I Want To Happen
1. Get up early and run (helps with the motor oil detox)
2. Go to Dunkin' Donuts for hazelnut coffee
3. Get the puppy up and out, while reading sports page
4. Get the kids fed, lunches made and to the bus stop
5. Watch TV
6. Cruise the Internet
7. Watch more TV
8. Repeat points 5-8
9. Repeat point 8...over and over
Stuff That Really Will Happen
1. Steps 1-4 (already done)
2. Go shopping with the birthday girl
3. Pay for a lot of stuff (none of which is for me)
4. Carry all the stuff
5. Go to lunch (and get stuck with the bill happily pay)
6. Carry shopping bags (crates?) into house
7. Watch as bags (all 33 of them) get emptied
8. Say stuff like, "Wow, that looks great!"
9. Think stuff like, "Wow, I wonder how long until I can hit the couch for 90210 reruns and cooking shows!"
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Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Birthday Shots?!?
Two quickies before we dash off:
1. The Celtics will beat the Pistons in six games. We said this the second Boston defeated the Cavs on Sunday. The Pistons are simply not that good. Yes, they have about 1,000 games of playoff experience. However, Detroit is old and lacking one true break-down player on offense. Plus, they have no bench and their coach, Flipper, is a total dolt. Why The Rest of the World does not realize this and insists on picking Detroit is beyond us.
2. Tomorrow is our wife's birthday. We have good friends of ours, whose wife's birthday is today. So we all went out to eat tonight. Somehow, someone (wasn't us!) decided it would be appropriate for all of us to do something called a "Birthday Shot". The end result? We can now say we know what it's like to taste motor oil. Ugh...
Monday, May 19, 2008
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Memo to Cavs: Next time bring some Oh!
1. The Cavaliers are downright gruesome to watch on offense. Seriously, why don't they just put four guys on one side of the floor and let LeBron play one-on-one on the other side? Otherwise, they simply can't score. How bad is it when you have to bring in Joe Smith (Joe Smith!) for an offensive lift? And really -- the only difference between Wally Szczerbiak and us is the fact that he is 6'7" and we aren't. Besides that -- it's a total wash. We, too, can launch flat footed set shots that only go in when we are the widest of wide open.
2. Time for Ben Wallace to retire. The afro is cool and all, but besides that -- what else is there? Ah...nothing. At least he used to be good on defense. Today? He guarded Kendrick Perkins -- the fifth best scoring option among Boston's starting five.
3. As we predicted, Paul Pierce, in the comforts of the Boston Garden and the hometown refs, had a big game today. Really big, in fact. However, we thoroughly enjoyed the Pee Pee's first quarter. We lost track of what was higher: the number of times he got his shot punched or the number of times he cried to the refs. (Which was ironic, because the zebras could have should have called him for traveling every time he drove to the hoop.) Also vintage Pee Pee, ever the phony, when he fell on a camera man (nothing like having Pee Pee's 280 lbs drop on you) and came up with a fake ankle injury. Replays clearly showed no damage at all to his foot or ankle. We can only guess that since he is no longer allowed to act like a tough guy and throw down gang signs (as if...), Pee Pee figures he will act tough by bouncing back from a fake ankle injury. Have another doughnut. Nice try, Pee Pee.
4. LeBron vs. Pee Pee -- Funny how LeBron took more physical abuse than anyone in the game and never once wolfed or faked an injury. Pee Pee, meanwhile, spent the whole game flopping, grimacing and faking numerous injuries. That probably explains why LeBron's toughness is universally respected throughout the league, while Pee Pee is openly disliked by nearly everyone outside of New England. (A fact, by the way, that Jackie MacMullan wrote about two years ago.)
5. How great was it to see Eddie House's son running around the baseline and then on the court during timeouts?!? Even better was when he jogged into the lockerrom with dad for halftime. We now kind of like Eddie House. (That makes House, KG and Sam I Am -- for those counting at home.)
Perhaps the dumbest column EVER
Some Loser Named Gregg Easterbrook writes on ESPN.com: "The reason Spygate keeps dragging on is because the guilty party -- New England coach Bill Belichick -- has not been punished in any meaningful way. Belichick cheated and lied, and so far has gotten away nearly scot-free. The $500,000 fine assessed against Belichick is a token sanction at his income level. The draft choice fine against the Patriots penalizes mainly the team's fans, who are not responsible for what happened. Patriots players are in effect being punished for their coaches' actions by having their reputations harmed. Suspending Belichick for at least a year would constitute a serious penalty where none has been imposed so far, and show pro football is serious about integrity."
More Pee Pee & some tasty links
Aw, man! Why don't I get the call, man? We just can't help ourselves. It is just too fun (and too easy) to make fun of Fat Boy Pee Pee. The bloated loser who calls himself The Truth must face the facts. The Truth is he has been awful this playoff series. He is barely hitting 40 percent of his shots. Only averaging 17 points per game. And has managed to average 3 turnovers a game. His numbers in game 6 Friday night? The game that could have closed out the series against the Cavs? He was 5-15 from the floor with 6 (we said SIX!) turnovers.
Of course, it is almost a mortal lock that Pierce and the Celtics will win game seven today (at home of course). But until then, we can have some more fun at the expense of the gang banger wannabe.
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As for game seven? Celts by double digits.
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The Links
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Saturday, May 17, 2008
Friday, May 16, 2008
Thursday, May 15, 2008
A little about a lot of things
Romo and Simpson all done?!?
Newscaster drops F-bomb during live telecast!
The women linked to Roger Clemens!
Man, this guy hates Bill Belichick!
The state where kids watch TV but not what they eat!
Meet Derek Kellogg on May 21!
Paul Domowitch: Arlen Specter needs to go away! Osama Obama calls female reporter "sweetie"?!?
The latest from L.A. on O.J. Mayo!
*Note: There is no article on Paul Pierce. We just wanted to post the picture and ask:
1. How did the basket not collapse with Fat Boy Pee Pee swinging on it?!?
2. How come he never does these manly things on THE ROAD?!?
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Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Monday, May 12, 2008
Good stuff...
If this doesn't get you "pumped and jacked" (© Coach Pete), you've got a problem. Or maybe you are a Communist.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Friday, May 9, 2008
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Why jump into the lottery when you can jump into a pool?!?
Seriously, how great is this? You have the National College Player of the Year announcing he is coming back for his senior season. Two weeks later, he is jumping off a frat house balcony into a pool of water. To quote Johnny Damon, "Drinking may have been involved."
Joakim Noah may have millions, but is he having more fun than Tyler Hansbrough?!?
Judgng by this picture, we are guessing the answer is NO!
Monday, May 5, 2008
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Pee Pee = A True Team Leader!
You've just fouled out of your team's most important game of the season. What do you do?
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A. Get a technical and cost your team a crucial point!
B. Sit on the floor far away from your team as it huddles around coach Doc Rivers!
C. Cast an angry, pouty stare on your face!
D. Offer words of encouragement to your teammates. Talk to ABSOLUTELY NO ONE(!) the last three minutes of the game!
Pee Pee: A True Team Leader!
Friday, May 2, 2008
Brick Chicken...
Soaking in Italian dressing, after the butcher butterflied a whole roast chicken.
Into a medium-high pan with extra virgin olive oil.
This is why it is called Brick Chicken. After 20 minutes, it went into a 350 degree oven for 35 minutes.
Finished product!Thursday, May 1, 2008
Pee-Pee is not really all that tough...
The year was 1995. We met Paul Pierce while he was playing in The Boston Shootout, which at the time was one of the best high school all-star setting in the country. Pierce, having just graduated from Inglewood (CA) High School, was the drawing card on the California entry.
After his game the first day, he was sitting in the bleachers watching another game. We walked over and introduced ourselves and gave him a copy of our publication (a mixture of college football/basketball, with a heavy dose of recruiting.) We had interviewed many prep stars over the years (Stephon Marbury, Antoine Walker and Baron Davis -- to drop three names), and Pierce was one of the nicest kids around. He willingly posed for pictures reading our publication. When we were done, he held up the publication and politely asked, "Can I keep this?"
We watched him throughout his three years at Kansas. In our basement, we proudly displayed a picture of him reading our publication. In 1998, we looked forward to him joining Our Philadelphia 76ers. Yet, with the eighth pick, the Suckers Sixers took...wait for it...Larry Hughes. The hated Celtics gobbled up Pierce two picks later.
And that was the last time we were Paul Pierce fans. He was a Celtic. We hated all Celtics. It was rather simple.
Check that. Antoine Walker was a Celtic, too. Yet, we never minded him.
What gives?
As polite and gracious as Pierce was when we met him fresh our of high school, Walker was even more of a gentleman. Just as important, Walker remained a stand up guy even after he became an NBA star. Pierce, on the other hand, went south. And went south rather quickly. As a high school graduate in 1995, he was an articulate kid, good mannered kid. By his second year in the NBA, he started speaking like a street thug. Every sentence seemed to end with, "man".
C'mon, man.
Why you talkin' that way, man?
Hey, man.
No only did his speech change. His body language changed. His facial expressions varied from sulking to looking angry and back to sulking.
He became a phony. He wanted everyone to think he was this Angry Black man. Yet, he was once a Nice Black Kid.
The irony was that while he was acting all tough, he came thisclose to getting stabbed to death in a dance club. In fact, the only thing that saved his life was the fact that he was Fonzi wearing a heavy leather jacket. During the trial, Pierce had trouble remembering who stabbed him. Most assumed he was too scared to finger the defendants. He hired body guards to protect him 24 hours a day.
He wants everyone to think he is a tough guy. Reality is he is a big baby. A big fraud. And a total loser. The "alleged" gang sign that Pee Pee wants everyone to think was the team signal for "Blood, Sweat & Tears"?!?!? Funny, that we have never seen him throw it down in an opponent's face before. So it must have just been a coincidence that he did it after Atlanta's Al Horford got in Fat Boy's Pee Pee's face?
Oh, OK.
We have no doubt Pee Pee was throwing down a gang sign. It's his personality. Not to be a gang banger, but a TOTAL FRAUD. He is as much of a gang banger as your mailman is. But he wanted everyone to know how tough he is. KG, his teammate, is ultra-tough. Yet, he does not feel the need to throw down signs announcing his toughness. Pee Pee could learn many things from Garnett. First and foremost is the fact that you show people how tough you are not by wearing a leather coat or flashing gang signs. And not by changing your dialect to sound like you are hardened by the streets. No, you simply prove your toughness by keeping your mouth shut and working hard.
KG is a man we admire and cheer. Paul Pierce is a loser.
More Pee Pee/gang sign stuff:k
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Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Odds & Ends...
Been busy the past week taking care of our new puppy. Lots of stuff worth of making fun of discussing:
The NFL Draft How great was it to speed through the first round in just over three hours?!? Makes enduring last year's six-plus hour marathon look like a walk in the desert. We have to admit that we simply could not watch the NFL 
Network's coverage over the weekend. It looked like a middle school presentation. And raise your hand if you like listening to Deion Sanders. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller Anyone? Not that ESPN was without fault. There were simply too many people on the set. You kind of need Jaws around to brag about all "the tape" he watches on the players. Mort is needed because he is somewhat plugged into the league -- though he is not the "insider" he once was. Chris "You Tube" Berman keeps things moving. And the draft without Mel Kiper is Christmas sans Santa. That leaves Keyshawn 
Johnson and Steve Young. The times we live in mandate having a former player around to throw in his 10 cents. Keyshawn is the politically correct choice. Yet, Young adds solid comments. Personally, we would get rid of both and let Todd McShay sit and fight Kiper. Mort could tell us what teams are thinking. Jaws could show us "the tape". Berman could be the point guard. And Mel and McShay could break down players and continue to bring their hatred for one another to our family rooms, which, of course, makes for great TV viewing. McShay is Kiper 25 years ago. Back then, Mel was the only one outside the league scouting the draft.The difference now is there are (at least) 10 Mel Kipers. McShay happens to be the best Mel, version 2.0. And that clearly bugs the crap out of Mel. It's the old story of the rookie moving in on the aging veteran star's turf.
Network's coverage over the weekend. It looked like a middle school presentation. And raise your hand if you like listening to Deion Sanders. Anyone? Anyone? 
Johnson and Steve Young. The times we live in mandate having a former player around to throw in his 10 cents. Keyshawn is the politically correct choice. Yet, Young adds solid comments. Personally, we would get rid of both and let Todd McShay sit and fight Kiper. Mort could tell us what teams are thinking. Jaws could show us "the tape". Berman could be the point guard. And Mel and McShay could break down players and continue to bring their hatred for one another to our family rooms, which, of course, makes for great TV viewing. McShay is Kiper 25 years ago. Back then, Mel was the only one outside the league scouting the draft.The difference now is there are (at least) 10 Mel Kipers. McShay happens to be the best Mel, version 2.0. And that clearly bugs the crap out of Mel. It's the old story of the rookie moving in on the aging veteran star's turf.TOMORROW:
1. The irony of Allen Iverson sitting home while the 76ers play on in the playoffs!
2. Fat Boy Paul Pierce throwing down gang signs in a playoff game?!?
3. Roger Clemens and his lover friend!
Monday, April 28, 2008
Looking back @ the NFL Draft...
Dallas Morning News Draft Report Card!
Draft Analysis: All Hail the Chiefs!
Gary Myers: "The Giants established a blueprint in the Super Bowl for beating the Patriots: Knock Tom Brady around, put him on the ground. Now the Jets, with the additions of Calvin Pace in free agency, Kris Jenkins in a trade and Ohio State's Vernon Gholston in the first round, have improved their chances of getting to Brady in the fall after their pass rush produced only 29 sacks in 2007."
Jerry Rice (yes, that Jerry Rice) on DeSean Jackson: "He has all the talent in the world."
Is D-McNabb happy with Jackson?!?
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Talk about "instant" impact!
DeSean Jackson had 11 catches for 254 yards and 4 TDs today!*k
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(*During today's Cal-Florida PS3 game with my 6-yr old son.)
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Mel Kiper, 3.0...Finally, the Eagles do something smart on draft day!
*Getting a 2nd and a 4th round pick this year...and a 1st round pick next year? All for letting the Panthers have the 19th pick this year? Wow! Double wow!
*OK, we are off with the family to have dinner at the neighbors' house. The Blackberry will be keeping us updated. (Assuming we can't control the clicker and get the draft on the plasma.)
Mel Kiper, 2.0
*We love the Patriots' selection of Jerod Mayo of Tennessee. He may have been taken a few spots too high (#10), but we know one thing: he is twice the player USC's Keith Rivers (taken by the Bengals one spot ahead). Rivers looks like an All-American. Mayo plays like an All-American.
*Great to see Mel Kiper is a tad fiesty this year. Nothing like in 1994 when his stinging criticism of the Colts selecting Trev Alberts prompted GM Bill Tobin to scream, "Who the hell is Mel Kiper?!?" But Mel is questioning picks left and right -- which is a heckuva lot more interesting than the other Yes Men sitting around him.
*Does Ron Jaworski think any player is any good?!? All we hear is how much film Jaws watches and how many weaknesses every player has. Lighten up, Francis Jaws.
Friday, April 25, 2008
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
The Prodigal Son Returns...
Derrick Kellogg first came to UMass in the fall of 1991. The Springfield, MA native was a three year starting point guard for coach John Calipari. The Minutemen made the NCAA Tournament all four of Kellogg's years. Kellogg was a rare two-year captain for Coach Cal and was the leader of the team that fell one game shy of making the 1995 Final Four -- losing to Big Country Reeves and Oklahoma State. (In reality, the team's fate was most likely sealed in February when Cal kicked Mike Williams, his top offensive player, off the team. Williams was never a model citizen off the court. In fact, Cal was fond of telling people privately that Williams had an addiction to "asshole pills.") After graduation, Kellogg coached at George Mason and Youngstown State, before joining Calipari at Memphis in 2000.
Now, 13 years later, Kellogg is returning home to Amherst. He will be introduced at a 6 P.M. press conference tonight in The Cage -- the same gym where Kellogg (as well as a guy named Julius Erving) started his UMass career. He got the job over another UMass alum, UTEP coach Tony Barbee. Barbee publicly stepped out of the running yesterday. Reportedly, he did this at "the request" of Calipari, so that Kellogg would be the clear cut favorite.
He is taking over a team that went 25-11 and lost in the NIT Championship. Starting guards Ricky Harris and Chris Lowe will be returning next year, and Wake Forest transfer Anthony Gurley will be eligible. Kellogg will hit the recruiting trail immediately. His first priority will be trying to keep Florida transfer Jonathan Mitchell interested in UMass. The 6'7" combo forward averaged 3 points per game (in just 11 minutes) during his freshman year. Under traitor liar Travis Ford, UMass was considered the favorite to land the New York City player. Once Ford left lied and and took off for OSWho, Mitchell's uncle told Hoops Weiss, "It's disappointing. It's safe to say they're no longer on the list." Other transfer targets will include UConn's Doug Wiggins and Ben Hansbrough (Tyler's brother), who is leaving Mississippi State after averaging 11 points a game as a sophomore.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Republicans keeping fingers crossed...
A Billary win tonight may guarantee John McCain the White House.
Monday, April 21, 2008
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