4:50 AM -- Get up and get dressed for running. Check Internet and discover Phillies were shutout, 2-0. Check this blog and see that we had 22 hits overnight. Begin 15 minute stretching routine to get the hamstring loose. Or at least loose enough to complete the 4.8 mile run. Why are we running on a bad hammy? Because winter weight is winter weight and summer weight is summer weight. Makes sense, no?!? And Thursday mornings are The-Dreaded-Or-Beloved-Weigh-In-Day. In the span of less than three seconds the digital scale will either make or break our mood for the coming weekend. Success equals a care free weekend. Non-success equals, "Hand me a gun so we can kill ourselves."
5:10 -- Daughter's pink i-pod in tow, we exit house in Nike kicks, adidas shorts, Nike team issued UNC sweatshirt and a winter hat (bugs are bad).
5:12 -- The run begins. More like a one legged hobble. The hammy is doing a slow burn.
5:14 -- We can't shake our wife's nagging voice: "You know, if you took a day off every once in a while, your leg wouldn't hurt."
5:15 -- We contemplate life as a 40 year old single man, sans wife. Lots of TV --nothing but sports, cooking shows and The Office. Tons of spicy food.
5:19 -- The first of six laps is completed (each one is .8 of a mile). The hammy is starting to get loose.
5:23 -- We realize that we really only listen to one song over and over while running: "The Boss", by T-Pain. We first heard it while attending the Celtics-76ers game in March. The Sixers kicked Boston's ass, by the way.
5:24 -- As the rap song plays, we consider for a moment that we are a 40-year old white male living in the 'burbs.
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5:26 -- We pass someone walking a dog. We pause the music. Our secret is safe. khhhhhdsgfdsgfdsfgdsfgdsgfdsfgdsfgdsfgdsfgdsfgdsfgdsfgdsgf
5:38 -- On our fourth lap, the hammy (entire leg, really) just plain HURTS.
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5:49 -- Now on last lap of 4.8 mile jaunt. We begin to contemplate getting old. A total cliche, to be sure, but it is right on the mark: The mind is willing, but the body is not. Flashback to one of our old hoop coaches, who said: "After 40, it's all about Advil and ice."
5:55 -- We finish final lap. The problem is, the Newspaper Guy is driving toward us and we: A. Don't want him to know where we live. B. Will feel less than a man if he sees us stop. So we do something that, given our physical state, is REALLY STUPID. We strap it on for another lap.
5:56 -- Behind us someone yells, "You are a FRIGGING IDIOT!"
5:57 -- We are pretty sure that person is our wife.
6:02 -- Seven laps are done -- and so are we. The extra lap gives us 5.6 miles. All that's left is the weigh-in.
6:20 -- The scale says we are down 15 1.5 pounds. Life is good. So good.
6:21 -- Before showering, we go (with our Gatorade Weigh-in Reward) and collapse on the floor for 15 minutes of zzz.
6:36 -- We realize that was stupid thing to do, because the hammy/leg is now completely stiff. The pain we endure to get up is, no lie, excruciating!
7:05 -- Cleaned up and ready to enjoy a day at home on Injured Reserve. We head over to Dunkin' Donuts, so we can have some coffee while we wait with the kids at the bus stop.
9:00 -- Back from the bus stop and a quick trip to the market. We go to webmd.com and this is what it says for a hamstring strain: Hamstring injuries are slow to heal because of the constant stress applied to the injured tissue from walking. Complete healing can take six to 12 months. Re-injuries are common because it's hard for many guys to stay inactive for that long.
9:01 -- We realize we are soooooo screwed.
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