A Who's Who of VIP Sideline Peeps at Tonight's USC-OSU Game

ESPN.com's Ted Miller has posted who will be getting VIP Sideline Passes for tonight's mega-hyped tilt between USC and Ohio State. Here are some of the names that caught our eye: (Miller's entire list is right here.)

1. Isiah Thomas - Isiah Thomas?!? Are you frigging kidding us?!? Why in the name of Paul Hackett would SC give a pass to Zeke? Since he retired from the Detroit Pistons everything he has been connected to has, well, it has sucked. Nothing but bad karma can come Southern Cal's way from this.

2. Nick Lachey - He's only there to scoff Matt Leinart's sloppy seconds. And there will be plenty of those, to be sure.

3. Rodney Peete - And he's only there to hit up the tailgating buffet lines. Good gawd, man, you were once an NFL QB. Mix in a few salads and start humping the eliptical.

4. Greg Oden - If we're Portland G.M. Kevin Pritchard, we don't want Gee Oh anywhere near the sideline. How many times have we seen a play go out of bounds and some clueless civilian with a press pass gets taken out at the legs and ends up sprawled out on the ground? Is that really what Portland wants?!?
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5. Jamie Foxx - He played Tubbs in the movie version of Miami Vice. We would prefer to have Don Johnson, who, of course, was Crockett on TV version, on the sidelines. Plus, his character was a former college All American wide receiver.

6. Marcus Allen - We can only hope that Marcus brings His Man AC Cowlings with him. We can never get enough of AC.

7. Dennis Thurman - We are, undoubtedly, the only ones who remember Thurman as #32, the dirty hard hitting safety from the Dallas Cowboys in the early '80s.

8. Amare Stoudemire - Ironic that the guy who never even went to college will be at the game.

9. Fonzie - Arthur (as Mrs. C always called him) is a leeee-git USC backer.

10. Eddie George - The good will ambassador from Ohio State. We predict he will one day be the athletic director there.

11. Denzel Washington - "A good narcotics agent should have narcotics in his blood."

12. Anna Rawson - Or is it Andre Dawson? Long live The Hawk. (And for those of you asking, "Who the hell is Mel Kiper Anna Rawson?!?" -- well, she is an SC alum and the hottest golfer on the Ladies European Tour.)

13. Todd Marinovich - It will be good to see Marijuanavich back in The Coliseum, where he once got stoned played. We can only wonder what he will show up with: 1. His surfboard and guitar 2. A McDonald's cheeseburger 3. A plastic Ziploc bag full of weed 4. A dartboard with a picture of his father (Marv) on it.