Monday's List, 1.0

THINGS WE'LL NEVER DO...

1. Pay to attend a hockey game.

2. Wear a fanny-pack.

3. Cheer for the Boston Celtics.

4. Clip a cell phone to our belt.

5. Wear one of those stupid cell phone Bluetooth things around our ear.

6. Willingly pick up the phone and call someone (anyone!).

7. Own a mini-van.

8. Dress like Jim Tressel.

9. Watch Obese Winfrey's left-wing-communist television show.

10. Get a tattoo.