College Football, 1.0

Seven thoughts and predictions on the college football season that is set to begin in less than three hours:

1. The Head Ball Coach will retire when the season is over! That's not to say Steve Spurrier will give up coaching. He's just too old and tired to keep spinning his tires at South Carolina.

2. Colt McCoy will win the Heisman! He's a better runner than Sam Bradford. And a better passer than Tim Tebow. Plus (and it pains us to say this), we think his texASS Longhorns will go undefeated in the regular season.

3. Kirk Herbstreit will continue to be the Golden Boy of college football media peeps! The ladies (including co-eds) love him for his looks. Everyone else loves him because he is the smartest college football guy around. (We are pretty sure, though, that Chris Fowler is just as smart. However, his fear of being wrong precludes him from making predictions or even giving the slightest opinion on anything.)

4. Craig James will continue to headline the JV Team! And to think that 15 years ago he, not Herbstreit, was the BMOC. But then Pony Boy sold out and went for the NFL pre-game bucks. In slid Herbstreit to College GameDay and James barely lasted a few years working Sundays. Now back in the college game, he hardly rates a blip on the radar.

5. Herbstreit, however, is wrong about one thing! Last week, he said Notre Dame's offense will be "explosive"! Um, no it won't. And Jimmy "Pass me a red cup" Clausen will continue to be the most over-hyped HS recruit in recent memory.

6. As for tonight's games, we'll take North Carolina over South Carolina over NC State and Boise State over Oregon!

7. As for the National Championship, we have Florida topping Lack Crown's texASS Longhorns!