College Football, 2.0...

Thoughts on last night's opening round of games:

1. We keep telling you, The Head Ball Coach will leave SC at the end of the season! His Cocks started the season with an underwhelming 7-3 W against ACC Basement Dweller NC State. (Keeping in mind that bringing up the rear in the woeful ACC means there are probably 10 or so 1-AA teams that can kick your ass.) Steve Spurrier's QB, Stephen Garcia (he of the numerous alcohol related transgressions), was 13-22 for 148 yards . Back in the day, that was what Spurrier's pitchers would have by halftime in The Swamp. Beating Tom O'Brien's Wolfpack on the road is one thing. Beating the Dawgs on the road in Athens next week is completely different. And not happening.

2. Yawn, Boise State beat Oregon, 19-8! Why, exactly, was this the biggest game in Boise's history?!? The Ducks suck. We can't stand them for cheating their way to victory against OU four years ago. Even worse was the way their A-hole coach Mike Bellotti acted after that game. We despise that loser more than anyone in college football. If he lived next door to us, we would egg his house every night. Even better, we would call him on the phone as we were doing it. With his team destined to blow this year, what did Suck-otti do? He quit to become the athletic director. This game was so boring, we went to bed at halftime. Which meant, of course, we missed Duck LeGarrette Blount punch a Boise player after the game. No truth to the rumor that had we been there, we would have punched Loser-otti after the game.